quachthutrang Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 Give some comments and corrections. Thank you! :) Some people think government should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space. Other people disagree and think that goverment should spend this money for our basic needs on Earth. Which of these two opinions do you agree with? From my own viewpoint, I do heartily approve of government spending money supplying human with essential needs to live up to living standards rather than exploring outer space. Human, in every field of study and work, should and always be the first priority and the main impetus. On the other hand, we carry out discovering the universe in outer space all for the supreme sake of human on Earth. That is to say, human and the Earth have always been the core of the space, at least in our eye. . First of all, there are lots of and even so many people living below standards today that the government haven’t been able to afford money to help them. Looking around, you can certainly enumerate how many people fighting for life with under one dollar per day, how many people die of preventable diseases for lacking operation fee. In African undeveloped countries, thousands of children are born poorly nourished and this renders malnutrition causing death to many of them. About 2 out of 7 billion people in the world are living without clean water. Not to mention the disable, for instance victims of the Agent Orange, who hardly have a chance to live a normal life. If money is so redundant that has to be spent on visionary dreams like conquering the space, it’s better off being used to help those people and in more rational activities. Second of all,. nothing can develope and flourish while its inside is decaying. The Earth is suffering from acute pollutants caused by people and she is rebelling against us with catastrophic hurriances ( like the recent Kattrina) and other natural disasters. Human beings and our society are on the abyss of perishing by and by. Then what to explore outer space for if human no longer existed? Instead of being blindfolded too much by what might happen in far future, we should spend more thinking and action on what needs to be done today. Mend our home planet before too late, live peacefully in it and then we will have more time and money to find new sources somewhere out there. To conclude, we should respect and develop what is ours, that is the Earth and its people, not what is not ours, that is Creature's in outer space. Only when this world truely thrives, when people are well-served, can the dream of conquering the universe become real. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpv Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 I am not an expert. Please fire back if you find anything wrong in my analysis. From my own viewpoint, I do heartily approve of government spending money supplying human with essential needs to live up to living standards rather than [spending money in] exploring outer space. Human, in every field of study and work, should and always be the first priority and the main impetus. On the other hand, we carry out discovering the universe in outer space all for the supreme sake of human on Earth. That is to say, human and the Earth have always been the core of the space, at least in our eye. [i did not get intent of this sentence] First of all, there are lots of and even so many people living below standards today that [to whom] the government haven’t been [Gov - singular] able to afford money to help them. Looking around, you can certainly enumerate how many people fighting for life with under one dollar per day, how many people die of preventable diseases for lacking operation fee. In African undeveloped countries, thousands of children are born poorly nourished and this renders malnutrition causing death to many of them. About 2 out of 7 billion people in the world are living without clean water. Not to mention the disable, for instance victims of the Agent Orange, who hardly have a chance to live a normal life. If money is so redundant that [it] has to be spent on visionary dreams like conquering the space, it’s better off being used to help those people and in more rational activities. Second of all,. nothing can develope and flourish while its inside is decaying. The Earth is suffering from acute pollutants caused by people and she is rebelling against us with catastrophic hurriances ( like the recent Kattrina) and other natural disasters. Human beings and our society are on the abyss of perishing by and by. Then what to explore outer space for if human no longer existed? Instead of being blindfolded too much by what might happen in far future, we should spend more thinking and action [acting] on what needs to be done today. Mend our home planet before [it's] too late, live peacefully in it [redundant] and then we will have more time and money to find new sources somewhere out there. To conclude, we should respect and develop what is ours, that is the Earth and its people, not what is not ours, that is Creature's [creatures] in outer space. Only when this world truely thrives, [and] when people are well-served, can the dream of conquering the universe become real. [the dream of conquering the universe can become real] Perfect reply. Only minor grammatical mistakes. I will give you 5.5 for this essay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janebubble Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 Great!!! essay. 5.5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quachthutrang Posted October 2, 2005 Author Share Posted October 2, 2005 Thanks very much. I'll give you my teacher's mark on this essay next Sunday to see if your rating is correct. :D Anyway, there's one thing unclear in my head about the TWE. As the matter of fact, I realize that my sentences are rather complex and sometimes difficult for the readers to make out. I even CAN'T write shortly although I know that time is limited ( for I am rather used to the writing in classic stories, hic) Can you tell me whether writing brief and simple-structured sentences or a "professional" style is better? That's the hot question for me now!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quachthutrang Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 My teacher gave it mark 5. Thanks for your comments! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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