4 - 4.5
The structure is very good.
The reasons you will not get above a 4.5 with this essay (if you're lucky) are the following:
There are quite a few spelling mistakes (use a spell checker).
There are some grammar mistakes (see below).
the conclusion is rather weak. Yes, you should mention the above paragraphs again, but then finish with one strong and convincing sentence.
You don't show a very broad vocabulary.
Good LuckOriginally Posted by Azi