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my first essay,can you rate for me?


Andac

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Subject: It has recently been announced that a large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Shopping centers are really useful for fast and easy shopping. On the other hand, if a large shopping center may be built in my neighborhood, I would certainly not support this idea because a large shopping center can cause traffice jam, big noise problem and pollution.

One reason why I do not support this idea is that most visitors who come to shopping center will probably use their own cars. Most of the time large shopping centers have their own parking areas. However when these parking areas get full, visitors will try to park their cars on the streets. In addition, the place where I live now has really narrow streets. Therefore, there will be really big traffic jam.

Secondly, I study at home and really need a quiet place to study. Shopping centers are crowded most of the day. Lots of people talk, shout, laugh. In addition trucks which carry out things to be sold will go in and out to the shopping center during the day. These factors will make a really big noise problem which will effect my studies.

Finally, most shopping centers have fast food services inside. When these fast food services cook, they give emissions to the atmosphere which can be dangerous for people, in addition this can cause air pollution.

In summary, a shopping center outside the city would be a good idea for everyone. However, I don’t support a shopping center in my neighborhood which causes traffic jam, noise problem and air pollution.

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Subject: It has recently been announced that a large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

 

 

 

Shopping centers are really useful for fast and easy shopping. On the other hand, if a large shopping center may be built in my neighborhood, I would certainly not support this idea because a large shopping center can cause traffice jam, big noise problem and pollution.

 

One reason why I do not support this idea is that most visitors who come to shopping center will probably use their own cars. Most of the time large shopping centers have their own parking areas. However when these parking areas get full, visitors will try to park their cars on the streets. In addition, the place where I live now has really narrow streets. Therefore, there will be really big traffic jam.

 

Secondly, I study at home and really need a quiet place to study. Shopping centers are crowded most of the day. Lots of people talk, shout, laugh. In addition trucks which carry out things to be sold will go in and out to the shopping center during the day. These factors will make a really big noise problem which will effect my studies.

 

Finally, most shopping centers have fast food services inside. When these fast food services cook, they give emissions to the atmosphere which can be dangerous for people, in addition this can cause air pollution.

 

In summary, a shopping center outside the city would be a good idea for everyone. However, I don’t support a shopping center in my neighborhood which causes traffic jam, noise problem and air pollution.

 

Score : 6.0

Comments:

1. Absolute flair in your writing.

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