the essay about teenagers if you have english skills kindly rate it

[bhsrikanth444s]

In reality, A teenager doing jobs along with his studies is a supportive factor for a student. Not only Responsibility on the part of the student increases but also exposure to the outside world. Moreover, leadership qualities of a student will also grow. Then a student will be well equipped for the tasks in the future.

A classic example is as follows, Great Us Telecommunications Mogul David Sarnoff

in the early stages of his career worked as a mere wireless operator in New York city. He was a teenager at that time and later got exposed to the world in a night when he detected a sos message from the sinking British ship Titanic and later on went on to become a renowned and affluent person related to telecommunications.

In addition , jobs also provides a financial aid for the student for example tuition fees and books expenditure can be met to some extent. This consequence will relieve the burden on parents.

Yet, students should take proper care of their indulgence in jobs because it may result in a huge irreconcilable blow to their career’s money alters a man’s perception. Students may deviate from the right path and may get involve themselves in many group illegal activities and ruin their lives.

In sum, a student should be elective in choosing his job and should probe all the key factor’s involved in the job before taking up a job.

[awhig]

Mention the topic.

[Bernadetta]

In reality, A (why are you using a capital letter in the middle of a sentence? Let it be "a teenager") teenager doing jobs along with his studies is a supportive factor for a student. Not only Responsibility on the part of the student increases but also exposure to the outside world. Moreover, leadership qualities of a student will also grow. Then a student will be well equipped for the tasks in the future.

 

A classic example is as follows, Great Us Telecommunications Mogul David Sarnoff

in the early stages of his career worked as a mere wireless operator in New York city. He was a teenager at that time and later got exposed to the world in a night when he detected a sos message from the sinking British ship Titanic and later on went on to become a renowned and affluent person related to telecommunications.

 

In addition , jobs also provides a financial aid for the student for example tuition fees and books expenditure can be met to some extent. This consequence will relieve the burden on parents.

 

Yet, students should take proper care of their indulgence in jobs because it may result in a huge irreconcilable blow to their career’s money alters a man’s perception. Students may deviate from the right path and may get involve themselves in many group illegal activities and ruin their lives.

 

In sum, a student should be elective in choosing his job and should probe all the key factor’s involved in the job before taking up a job.

Try using longer sentences and do not be afraid of transitions!