Raising children

[Bernadetta]

My TOEFL is on March 10, which is quite soon... I am sort of worried about the essay part....So, I am just creating new essays..)) I need at least 5...

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

There are two opinions in the air regarding the place where it would be better to raise children - some believe that it is better to do it in the countryside whereas others say that a big city would be a perfect place for that.

As for me, I would say that it would be better to raise a child in a big city rather than in the ****ryside as the city has more to offer for the development of a child. For instance, those could be different outdoor activities, such as playing theatre or singing in some kind of a group, which would make a child more creative and his or her imagination would be stiired as a result of this.

Another advantage of raising a child in a big city would be that there are more chances of interacting with other children and unknown people. This makes children more easygoing and communicative. In addition to this, a children will also learn that such a thing as competition exists in life, which will make them more competitive.

To summarize I would like to say that raising children in a city will make them both more creative and competitive.

[awhig]

My TOEFL is on March 10, which is quite soon... I am sort of worried about the essay part....So, I am just creating new essays..)) I need at least 5...

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

There are two opinions in the air [leave it ]regarding the place where it would be better to raise children - some believe that it is better to do it in the countryside whereas others say that a big city would be a perfect place for that.

As for me, I would say that it would be better to raise a child in a big city rather than in the ****ryside[avoid such thing] as the city has more to offer for the development of a child. For instance, those could be different outdoor activities, such as playing theatre or singing in some kind of a group, which would make a child more creative and his or her imagination would be stiired as a result of this.
[Accepted.First start with the general point then support it using illustrations.That is the main point of this para could be: Raising a child in big city has its advantages such as All Arpound develeopment, mental growth (cite IQ as example) and a living style that elps him life long.Then follow this by detailing each point.Example: Bg city has facilities that a country side geenerally lacks suh as cinema , recreation centers.The consequences of all these affect on the growth. ]

Another advantage of raising a child in a big city would be that there are more chances of interacting with other children and unknown people. [This point is not strong.In a village and in suburbs too people interact.]This makes children more easygoing and communicative. In addition to this, a children will also learn that such a thing as competition exists in life, which will make them more competitive.
[Choose a point that really shows distinctive nature.Moreover, your point is a cliche.]


To summarize I would like to say that raising children in a city will make them both more creative and competitive.
[True]

Score : 3.5

Comments:
1. Not enough points found that can convinve a reader of your stand.
2. Language is simple
3. Structure and organization ok.