Score : 3.5Originally Posted by BernadettaMy TOEFL is on March 10, which is quite soon... I am sort of worried about the essay part....So, I am just creating new essays..)) I need at least 5...
It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.
There are two opinions in the air [leave it ]regarding the place where it would be better to raise children - some believe that it is better to do it in the countryside whereas others say that a big city would be a perfect place for that.
As for me, I would say that it would be better to raise a child in a big city rather than in the ****ryside[avoid such thing] as the city has more to offer for the development of a child. For instance, those could be different outdoor activities, such as playing theatre or singing in some kind of a group, which would make a child more creative and his or her imagination would be stiired as a result of this.
[Accepted.First start with the general point then support it using illustrations.That is the main point of this para could be: Raising a child in big city has its advantages such as All Arpound develeopment, mental growth (cite IQ as example) and a living style that elps him life long.Then follow this by detailing each point.Example: Bg city has facilities that a country side geenerally lacks suh as cinema , recreation centers.The consequences of all these affect on the growth. ]
Another advantage of raising a child in a big city would be that there are more chances of interacting with other children and unknown people. [This point is not strong.In a village and in suburbs too people interact.]This makes children more easygoing and communicative. In addition to this, a children will also learn that such a thing as competition exists in life, which will make them more competitive.
[Choose a point that really shows distinctive nature.Moreover, your point is a cliche.]
To summarize I would like to say that raising children in a city will make them both more creative and competitive.
1. Not enough points found that can convinve a reader of your stand.
2. Language is simple
3. Structure and organization ok.