“Some people believe that is very important to make large amounts of money, while oth

[Spinning the Wheel]

Any comments on my essay are welcome!

 

“Some people believe that is very important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living”

In life people choose to live different lifestyles. Some aim to earn as much money as they can and disregard anything else, while there are other people who care for other things rather than money. Some even go to the extreme and live an ascetic life.

Those who just care for money claim that in a capitalist society like the one we live, money is the only thing that counts and that it is the mean to them to get whatever they want from the usual nice houses and cars to sex and affection. They also claim that by making big money now; they will not have to worry about their retirement perspectives. Of course, most of them have to work long hours to make such earnings and may not have the time to enjoy the pleasures awarded by such wealth. It is a current joke that rich people don’t take advantage of their fortune, only their wives and her mistress do.

On the other hand, there are some people who choose to live a more balanced life. Their preferences are more equally distributed between earning a huge amount of money and other activities. These people report to value other objectives in their lives such as parenting or volunteering. Their claim that they want to see their kids growing up is almost a cliché by now.

Of course one has to define what a comfortable life is. If it comprises not worrying about ends meet and having some luxury pleasures once in a while like leisure traveling or going out to dinner in a fancy restaurant, then I would say I am a comfortable living proponent. But if comfortable living means living barely as a monk than I am definitely an earn money type of person.

[vertical_horizon]

Dear Spinning the Wheel :),

 

This is a good essay to me. You have a very smooth writing style. Good grammar and idea organization. There is just one thing I feel not quite satisfied about, which is the fact that you focuses on explaining what the two lifestyles are rather than arguing which one is better and what are their advantages/disadvantages. Eventhough those are already partially implied in your explanation, I think they need a little bit clearer illustration to be perfect.

 

Overall this is still a strong essay. I would give it a 5.5/6.0. You are improving :D!

 

6.0 to ya :grad:,

 

Phuong

 

Any comments on my essay are welcome!

 

“Some people believe that is very important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living”

 

In life people choose to live different lifestyles. Some aim to earn as much money as they can and disregard anything else, while there are other people who care for other things rather than money. Some even go to the extreme and live an ascetic life.

 

Those who just care for money claim that in a capitalist society like the one we live, money is the only thing that counts and that it is the mean to them to get whatever they want from the usual nice houses and cars to sex and affection. They also claim that by making big money now; they will not have to worry about their retirement perspectives. Of course, most of them have to work long hours to make such earnings and may not have the time to enjoy the pleasures awarded by such wealth. It is a current joke that rich people don’t take advantage of their fortune, only their wives and her mistress do.

 

On the other hand, there are some people who choose to live a more balanced life. Their preferences are more equally distributed between earning a huge amount of money and other activities. These people report to value other objectives in their lives such as parenting or volunteering. Their claim that they want to see their kids growing up is almost a cliché by now.

 

Of course one has to define what a comfortable life is. If it comprises not worrying about ends meet and having some luxury pleasures once in a while like leisure traveling or going out to dinner in a fancy restaurant, then I would say I am a comfortable living proponent. But if comfortable living means living barely as a monk than I am definitely an earn money type of person.

[Spinning the Wheel]

Thanks a lot!:D

[sanview]

Is there a problem in the topic itself?

 

Any comments on my essay are welcome!

 

“Some people believe that is very important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living”

 

In life people choose to live different lifestyles. Some aim to earn as much money as they can and disregard anything else, while there are other people who care for other things rather than money. Some even go to the extreme and live an ascetic life.

 

Those who just care for money claim that in a capitalist society like the one we live, money is the only thing that counts and that it is the mean to them to get whatever they want from the usual nice houses and cars to sex and affection. They also claim that by making big money now; they will not have to worry about their retirement perspectives. Of course, most of them have to work long hours to make such earnings and may not have the time to enjoy the pleasures awarded by such wealth. It is a current joke that rich people don’t take advantage of their fortune, only their wives and her mistress do.

 

On the other hand, there are some people who choose to live a more balanced life. Their preferences are more equally distributed between earning a huge amount of money and other activities. These people report to value other objectives in their lives such as parenting or volunteering. Their claim that they want to see their kids growing up is almost a cliché by now.

 

Of course one has to define what a comfortable life is. If it comprises not worrying about ends meet and having some luxury pleasures once in a while like leisure traveling or going out to dinner in a fancy restaurant, then I would say I am a comfortable living proponent. But if comfortable living means living barely as a monk than I am definitely an earn money type of person.

[Spinning the Wheel]

Well, I don't see any problem. What would it be?

[sanview]

Maybe my english is too poor, but shouldn't there be an "it" after "that" in the topic

 

"Some people believe that is very important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living”

 

like "Some people believe that IT is very important ..."?

 

 

Well, I don't see any problem. What would it be?

[vertical_horizon]

I think that's just the typo problem when Spinning the Wheel took it from the real TOEFL topic. It's not that big a deal.

[chinni]

Money does matter a lot in today's world.Money moves each and every subject towards it's destination.To access a comfortable living and to satisfy yourself along with your families' needs meeting all their basic requirements as well as to ensure a comfortable living , at end of the day, requires huge amounts.Hence, I believe in making money, lots and lots of it. I, in life, want a stage where you can never say "no" to a particular situation just because you are falling short of funds, leaving apart the highly impossibles like a desire to travel to space.

Firstly, having great funds will help us achieve our goals and to pursue our interests.The very journey called life made me cognitive of the fact. For example I always wanted to be an aeronautical engineer especially doing specializing in the field of electronics and hold an advanced degree in avionic control systems.I had all the academic eligibilities to so and having gone through a series of tests was forced to take back my admission in one of the premier institutes because I coudn't meet the financial requirements.This isn't fair at all.The agony I went through at that point deep seeded this opinion in me.

Second, I have seen many people who enjoy their life in a myriad of ways just by squandering their money.I coudn't go to my favorite show, coudn't get the dress of my choice, coudn't have what I really wanted to have in a restaurant just because of the price tags they carry.This very evident truth has created a deep rooted frustation in me.

Moreover, I felt really disgusted when I have seen many poor people who could not even afford two square meals a day just because they lack money.I always wanted to help them, I wanted to establish charities, various trusts and inorder to do so, one has to earn a fancy.The microsoft pioneer, Bill Gates and his Malinda Gates Foundation has always been my inspiration in this regard.

Last but not the least, though i believe in earning more, I don't believe that one should do so at the cost of his relations and sentiments.Choosing a right path to earn money and a living a life of dignity is equally important.Furthermore, one has to always take care of his family and should never leave them isolated, making them devoid of your love and care.I have seen many people do this, leaving their parents, family and children, and finally ending up with a whole lot of money and nothing else.For example, I have seen people who ended up giving their huge treasures to pet animals, dying with no one to take care and share their thoughts during their senility.

Hence for the above said reasons, I would like to earn more money but in the process would never risk my relations and would never do so at the cost of care and love of my near and dear ones.

[Dahildu Negu]

My teacher told me that's advantage-disadvantage essay so we only have about 4 paragraph here:

- Opening

- The first paragraph of body: supporting the first point of view

- The 2nd paragraph of body: supporting the 2nd point of view

- Conclusion: Tell your opinion.

:eager:

 

 

Money does matter a lot in today's world.Money moves each and every subject towards it's destination.To access a comfortable living and to satisfy yourself along with your families' needs meeting all their basic requirements as well as to ensure a comfortable living , at end of the day, requires huge amounts.Hence, I believe in making money, lots and lots of it. I, in life, want a stage where you can never say "no" to a particular situation just because you are falling short of funds, leaving apart the highly impossibles like a desire to travel to space.

Firstly, having great funds will help us achieve our goals and to pursue our interests.The very journey called life made me cognitive of the fact. For example I always wanted to be an aeronautical engineer especially doing specializing in the field of electronics and hold an advanced degree in avionic control systems.I had all the academic eligibilities to so and having gone through a series of tests was forced to take back my admission in one of the premier institutes because I coudn't meet the financial requirements.This isn't fair at all.The agony I went through at that point deep seeded this opinion in me.

Second, I have seen many people who enjoy their life in a myriad of ways just by squandering their money.I coudn't go to my favorite show, coudn't get the dress of my choice, coudn't have what I really wanted to have in a restaurant just because of the price tags they carry.This very evident truth has created a deep rooted frustation in me.

Moreover, I felt really disgusted when I have seen many poor people who could not even afford two square meals a day just because they lack money.I always wanted to help them, I wanted to establish charities, various trusts and inorder to do so, one has to earn a fancy.The microsoft pioneer, Bill Gates and his Malinda Gates Foundation has always been my inspiration in this regard.

Last but not the least, though i believe in earning more, I don't believe that one should do so at the cost of his relations and sentiments.Choosing a right path to earn money and a living a life of dignity is equally important.Furthermore, one has to always take care of his family and should never leave them isolated, making them devoid of your love and care.I have seen many people do this, leaving their parents, family and children, and finally ending up with a whole lot of money and nothing else.For example, I have seen people who ended up giving their huge treasures to pet animals, dying with no one to take care and share their thoughts during their senility.

Hence for the above said reasons, I would like to earn more money but in the process would never risk my relations and would never do so at the cost of care and love of my near and dear ones.