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Please rate my essay: Children should begin learning a foreign language...


sdot

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Please rate my essay. Thank you very much! Simon :)

 

 

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

 

In my home country children start learning English in school when being seven years old, whereas I did not when attending primary school about fifteen years ago. Nowadays, many people believe that children should begin learning foreign languages as soon as they start school. I strongly support this opinion on account of three reasons.

 

Firstly, foreign languages are so important as they have never been before. The world in which we live is becoming more international since the process called "globalization" started in the previous century. Learning several languages is especially essential for people growing up in non-english speaking countries. English is now influecing everyone's life. For instance, in contrast to the mid twentieth-century, european university students are often taught in English and have to read English literature. I am glad about this developement. According to me, it has many advantages. However, people cannot avoid to learn foreign languages today.

 

Secondly, the younger the learner is, the easier this process is. Scientists are convinced that children even do not have any problems when they learn several languages at the same time. Although they may mix words of different languages at the beginning, they finally manage the separation after much practice. Further, there is evidence that a person never learns more than in the first years of his live. Consequently, this is the best time for kids to learn something that they will need for the rest of the their lifes.

 

Finally, children are not as shy as adults are. Learning a foreign language is often a diffult process. To illustrate, learners often have difficulties with the pronounciation. They frequently do not know how to express their thoughts. Yet, the only way to learn a language is to practice. While adults are frustrated and afraid of blaming, children do not mind if they make a mistake and just try again.

 

To sum up, there is no doubt that both people have to learn foreign languages and the childhood is the best time for learning. Therefore, I am convinced that beginning this process when starting school is the best decision we can make. I am glad about this development in my home country and I am planning to make my children learn foreign languages as soon as they learn their native language.

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Hey, Simon...I think that I am not good writter, but I can point out the your following mistakes:

Paragraph 1:

On first sentence:

you must use ; before whereas when combine 2 sentences in 1 sentence.

row 3 in para 1: ...as soon as they start to go to school.

 

Paragraph 2:

row 1: if must use the structure 'so+adj/adv+that'

row 2: the process is called (passive)

row 3:for people to grow.(structure:It's+adj+for+noun+to+Verb)

row 5:...had to read(parallel structure)

row 6:avoid learning

 

Para 3:

row 2: they miss

row 4: there is an

row 4: his life.

 

Para 4:

row 1:difficult

 

Para 5:

row 1: invalid , before 'and', should omit 'both'.

row 2:Therefore, I am convinced to begin...starting school.It's the best decision we can make.(becoz you shouldn't use much cmplex sentences )

row 3: invalid ','

 

About your ideal:

ideal 1: ok

But ideal 2 and ideal 3 may be the same.

Intro, conclusion: ok

Score:3,5.

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Hi sdot!

 

dungtd255 has pointed out some of the correct grammar mistakes (some were NOT mistakes, like "start school" is a perfectly fine phrase).

 

I think you have done a very good job for this essay despite those mistakes. The three ideas are very valid and well-supported. I also love the way you introduce the essay and conclude it. You have succeeded in making the essay personal and not too dry, which is a very neccessary thing. The ideas are presented in a logical way. However, you can give personal examples for the 3rd and 4th paragraphs to make them more persuasive.

 

As a whole, I would rate the essay a 5.0+/6.0.

 

Keep up the good work!

 

Phuong

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