It contains several mistakes, you must revise some grammar topics. However, I perceive that you have a lot of potential
keep on working!!!!!
Please read Erins thread about how to format your essay.
TOPIC: It is more important to be able to work with a group of people on a team or to work independently? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
In student life and professional life I always work (worked) (big mistake "worked" past –past, not present-past) and studied in a group and (good!! but it`d be better as a result) now I am a successful professional person. I always prefer to work in a group rather than independently because of (omit) not only I learned as a team player but also I learn (past-past) hoe(w) to develop new ideas and save times(time).
When we all work in a group, we learn how to share the experience, adjust to each other among group members and coordinate to them-shelf (????). That experience helps to build up future carrier. For example, I am working in a research organization where there are different departments exist (Double verb) (Where there are different departments, or Where different departments exist). As a (“an”, but it`d be much better “the”) organizer I have to communicate and handle to each department individually. I am able to do it successfully because I used to do the same kinds of jobs when I was worked(only worked or was working) as joint committee member in college life.
Other way(Besides, Furthermore, Moreover, on the other hand, alternatively) also I would like to prefer(big one, like and prefer are the same) working as a group because it helps to develop new ideas from group members. This is I learned from my day to day’s(day-by-day) working experience. For instance,; as a research organizer, when I collect all data from different department(s) with their comments, I always try to correlate to each other and come to a conclusion and rectify the problems. (these is plural “this”)These (This) way, most of the time I get positive result.
Moreover,in group working(Group work) saves lots of time and energy. For example, in college days, when we used to work five students in a group, we distributed(past) the works (tasks) equally, like typing a 20 pages of final reports divided among 5 students and we finished typing work on next day it-self. Otherwise it would take 5 days for typing it-self. (Considering revising)
In addition, I would like to say that working together has its own benefit. Some time (subject) situation (omit or change situation) not allowed working as a group(there is a missing subject here it would be better something like "some times you are not allowed……). Therefore one has to be ready to work for (omit) individually.