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please rate my essay- what is a important skill


advancemed

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what is a important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today?

 

 

In this compititive world the things are changing at very fast rate. One must keep him/herself updated with the new information in order to be a successful. Today, the knowledge that one has is not enough for the success in future so I believe that person should be able to update his/her knowledge in each and every field.

 

As we all know, knowledge is a power, without it person is like handicap. One has to keep oneself updated with the new knowledge. It is not like you got education in a perticular field and you have finished with your study. you have to know the new technology in your field as well as other subjects after your education. For example, if a person is a pharmacist it dosen't mean that he/she is done with the study when he/she got the degree. The phamacist need to keep continue education in order to know new topics and new medicines in the market.

 

If person has knowledge in every field, noone can mislead him in anyway. For example, if you want to buy a car and you don't have any knowledge about the current prices or about the car dealers, there are more chances of paying them more than the one should pay who is quite knowlegable about it. This is only about car but one should keep oneself updated in other fields too.

 

A person should get the current information by watching news, reading newspapers and magazines and through many other sourses. the more knowledge you get, the more you need. There is no end of knowledge.

 

Finally, I would conclude that in tweenty first century each person should have his own identity. Every day has something new which we don't know so we have to have eagerness to know the new information and make sure that we have latest knowledge about everything then we will be successful.

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what is an important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today?

 

In this compititive world[,] the things are changing at [a] very fast rate. One must keep him/herself updated with the new information in order to be a successful. Today, the knowledge that one has is not enough for the success in [the] future so I believe that person should be able to update his/her knowledge in each and every field.

 

As we all know, knowledge is a power, without it person is like handicap. One has to keep oneself [good word usage!] updated with the new knowledge. It is not like you got education in a perticular field and you have finished with your study. you have to know the new technology in your field as well as other subjects after your education. For example, if a person is a pharmacist[,] it dosen't mean that he/she is done with the study when he/she got the degree. The phamacist need to keep continue [his/her/their] education in order to know new topics and new medicines in the market.

 

If [a] person has knowledge in every field, noone can mislead him in anyway [is this really possible in today's world?]. For example, if you want to buy a car and you don't have any knowledge about the current prices or about the car dealers, there are more chances of paying them more than the one should pay who is quite knowlegable about it. This is only about car but one should keep oneself updated in other fields too.

 

A person should get the current information by watching news, reading newspapers and magazines and through many other sourses [such as?]. the more knowledge you get, the more you need [why?]. There is no end of knowledge [contradictory to previous paragraph...].

 

Finally, I would conclude that in [the] tweenty first century each person should have his [her/their...] own identity [how does that relate to the topic?]. Every day has something new which we don't know so we have to have eagerness to know the new information and make sure that we have [the] latest knowledge about everything [-] then we will be successful.

 

advancemed, your essay structure is satisfactory, but you still have to make some improvements to your spelling, grammar, syntax and style.

 

From a spelling point of view, I find it very helpful to follow these steps:

1. Go over the essay once I've finished writing it and try to locate any spelling mistakes.

2. Copy my essay to a spell checker (such as the one in Microsoft Word) and make sure that I haven't left out any spelling mistakes.

I believe that most of your spelling mistakes come from trying to write words as they sound to you, instead of using words you're familiar with - I really think that it's more important to write simply and correctly than to use "big", complicated words that you're not very familiar with.

 

As for grammar, you've misused some idioms and prepositions - I find that you can greatly improve these errors by doing more grammar and idiom exercises. I promise you that the more you exercise basic and advanced grammar, the easier you'll find it to write essays!

 

In addition, I'll repeat my number one recommendation to people who aren't native English speakers - try to maximize your exposure to English, whether by reading more, writing more or even watching more English TV programs and movies.

I'm positive that you'll find that maximizing your exposure to English, especially through increasing your reading and writing in the language will greatly improve your overall TOEFL score, not just the TWE!

 

As for Syntax and style, it's evident that you aim very high in these aspects of your essay, but you must improve on both in order to improve your writing!

 

Examples of errors:

* Spelling:

- Compititive: should be "competitive".

- Perticular: should be "particular".

- Knowlegable: shold be "knowledgeable".

 

* Grammar:

- A lot of omitted "a"s.

- A lot of redundant "the"s.

 

* Syntax:

- A lot of missing commas - commas are very important in English!

- Try to avoid using "/" (e.g. "him/herself"). Either use only the masculine form (e.g. himself), a general form (e.g. "oneself", which you have used once in your essay) or if it's very important to you, simply provide a disclaimer in the beginning or end of your essay stating that while the masculine form is used throughout the essay, you wish to refer to both genders.

 

* Style:

- The 3rd paragraph starts with a very problematic statement ("If [a] person has knowledge in every field, no one [not noone] can mislead him in any way"). This statement is problematic because it contains an assumption that someone can really know everything about anything, which is highly contrasted to previous statements (especially your opening statement about the rate in which new information becomes available in this competitive world)

- The 4th paragraph seems to have been written without much attention (perhaps you got tired, or felt like you had to add another paragraph to improve your essay...)

- I think that you should have included examples after stating that there exist many other sources (not "sourses", as you wrote), e.g. the Internet, TV programs, magazines, etc.

- Another problem with the 4th paragraph is that it contradicts the statement made in the beginning of the 3rd paragraph (how can there be "no end ["to" instead of "of"] knowledge", if you claim that people can "[have] knowledge in every field"???

- Paragraph 5 seems to start of well with the use of "Finally" and "conclude", but then it appears that you're introducing a new idea into your essay ("each person should have his own identity"). I suggest you refrain from adding new information in your ending paragraph, and stick to summarizing your arguments and restating your opinion (which you phrased very well in the opening paragraph.

 

Essay Grade: 3.0, but don't despair! I truly believe that with more practice (in vocabulary and grammar as well as writing), you will be able to write 5.0- and even 6.0-level essays!

 

Disclaimer: I haven't done the TOEFL myself yet, but I'm quite experienced at editing English text. Additionally, I suggest not relying solely on my comments - get some feedback from more experienced members of this forum.

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  • 3 weeks later...

"skill" - a term often used by everyone which is mostly attributed to the professionals and experts, and is also a synonym of expertise.

expertise in turn can be defined as the metamorphosis of the natural talent , not neccesarily innate, with due usage of tools termed as "skills".

 

skill differs from proficiency as the latter often pertains to even freshers and amateurs but the former alludes itself and is applicable only for professionals and experts.The "skill tree", if drawn, has various branches viz computer skill, engineering skill, troubleshooting skill, diagnostic skill, prognotic skill etc; but the stem of the "skill tree" can most appropriately be called as "communication skill", which should be the most important skill a person should possess, in my opinion, to succeed.

 

A person may have a complete inside-out knowledge of his field, may be a good professor, a talented scientist, an apt and sincere government official, but what if he/she is devoid of the proper "communication skill"? without giving a leeway of thoughts to others about his opinion can his/her credibility and calibur be judged? can he prove himself well during times of crisis and urgency, when his views may be the most compatible of all?

With unobtrusive communication skill an individuals knowledge will be bequeathed only partially thus undermining his aptitude as well as attitude.

 

so what makes the "communication skill" more important than other skills?

"communication skill" is an artistic skill whereas other skills are scientfic skills. "communication skills" can be refurbished with gradual practice and attention whereas the indispensable condition to acquire and sharpen other skills is intelligence. artistic values diferent a quiet from intelligence values in this perpective.

 

To conclude,if a polymath is more amenable in passing his thoughts of action effectively, it will increase the overall efficiency and productivity of his/her labour lest he/she gets the unwanted and unaccepted state of ignominy. lastly, the humourous part of all is effective communication skills can even muffle instances of debunkness, and in some cases may give a surprising fillip to ones morale and enthusiasm.

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