A university education should be provided free of charge to all intereseted scholars

[schigges]

Hi!

 

I just wrote an essay about the following topic:

Could you please rate it? It would help me very much! Thanks in advance!

 

Question:

 

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

A university education should be provided free of charge to all intereseted scholars.

 

Use examples and reasons to support your position.

 

 

My answer:

 

The question is about whether university attendance should be provided free or whether students have to pay a tuition fee for their education. There has been the same discussion in Germany, too, and there are many issues for and against such fees. In my opinion, university attendance should be free.

 

First, education should be available independent of anyones social background and financial potential. Imagine a very talented pupil with a vast knowledge and high intelligence who is really interested in studying his favorite subject but who is in financial difficulties.

Refusing him admission to a university due to his lack of funds would therefore be unfair and the selection of the students would be measured by their financial potential and not by their scholar results.

 

Second, students renounce to work, so they have no general income. However, they have expenses for living, food, books and some other stuff. This means they already depend on funds from their parents or their own saved money. Where should students take extra funds? Working in a part-time job could help to receive additional money, but in most cases it is needed for the expenses mentioned above.

 

Third, official funds for education are already included in taxes. Because the tax rate is very high, the necessary means to provide the universities can be taken from the taxes. If these funds are not sufficient, it makes sense to raise the tax level to have a greater amount of money.

 

In conclusion, it is obvious that interested scholars should not be charged in order to have free access to universities and eduction.

[mzalutski]

Hi, schigges!

 

The question is about whether university attendance (in my opinion not a very good word, use service) should be provided free or whether students have to pay a tuition fee for their education. There has been the same discussion in Germany, too, and there are many issues for and against such fees. In my opinion, university attendance should be free.

(I think you should say your reasons why you think so in your intro, but without details)

 

First, education should be available independently of anyone's social background and financial potential. Imagine a very talented pupil with a vast knowledge and high intelligence who is really interested in studying his favorite subject but who is in financial difficulties.

Refusing him admission to a university due to his lack of funds would therefore be unfair and the selection of the students would be measured by their financial potential and not by their scholar results.

 

Second, students renounce to work (Sound strange for me. Why don't use don't work?), so they have no general income. However, they have expenses for living, food, books and some other stuff. This means they already depend on funds from their parents or their own saved money. Where should students take extra funds? Working in (I would use having) a part-time job could help to receive additional money, but in most cases it is needed for the expenses mentioned above.

 

Third, official funds for education are already included in taxes. Because the tax rate is very high, the necessary means to provide the universities can be taken from the taxes. If these funds are not sufficient, it makes sense to raise the tax level to have a greater amount of money.

(It seems to me this paragraph is quite a thin support to the topic. First, the topic is about university education in general, not specific educational system of a certain country with its taxes. Second, you explain how to make education more available. Although your position is interesting but this is not what you're asked to do. You are asked WHY the tuition should be free of charge, not HOW to do that.)

 

In conclusion, it is obvious that interested scholars should not be charged in order to have free access to universities and eduction.

(The conclusion is pretty short. You should briefly go round your reasons again here)

 

Well, I'm not a good rater but I think this essay is worth 5.00(6) points. The mistakes are few. You clearly state your position and generally address the topic.

 

Keep on and good luck!

[schigges]

Hi, thank you for your feedback!

 

It helps me very much to get a comment on my essay. Since you have a good written English, I have noticed your corrections and I´m still trying to strengthen my written English.

 

Regards,

schigges