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shaljan · 07-27-2003, 11:11 AM

Comment on my version of the essay

You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

The sparkling white sun-kissed islands; crystal clear lagoons studded with profusely coloured corals; azure warm seas with an undisturbed , exotic marine life; palm-fringed islands; the pervading serenity; all of it summarized by the famous Moroccan traveller, Ibn Battuta, on describing Maldives as “ one of the wonders of the world”. The Maldivian archipelago, a beautiful string of 1190 low-lying coral islands scattered across the equator in the vast expanse of the Indian Ocean, is the tropical paradise I would like to visit for two weeks.

The Sun, the sand and the sea. These are just the three simple realities beckoning me from far to these little islets, giving as a result, a glorious sense of happiness and proving to be a heavenly getaway from the world and its worries. The Maldives teaches the visitors the art of doing nothing, simply lazing around and enjoying some the most spectacular and colourful vistas offered by Nature. Over 80 resort islands, each of them surrounded by a halo of sugar-sand beaches and crystal clear seas, cloaked in lush palm groves provide exotic island hideaways.

The brilliantly colourful coral reefs, making the Maldivian seascapes amongst the most enchanting in the world, is a nature’s treasure house, an El Dora do for diving enthusiasts, providing opportunities to experience the unique and beautiful underwater scenery which is a realm of great variety of fish, corals and other marine denizens. Fishing is another major sport in the Maldives. With water constituting over 99% of the total area, it comes as no surprise that the country flaunts some of the best fishing grounds in the world. Moreover, cruising along the aquamarine waters from atoll to atoll is an unforgettable experience. Parasailing on multi-coloured parachutes over the warm waters of the Indian Ocean is an incredible experience. Water sausages and water scooters also make interesting rides. With tropical beauty abounding in the region, photography is another rewarding pastime.

In today’s delicate ecosystem where an even more fragile world of corals is systematically being damaged by dredging, bleaching and other man-made methods, the little, exotic islands of the Maldives have another story to tell. The harmonized culture, environment, and tourism in the Maldives are reaping in greater benefits, all making this enchanting island-nation a unique premium eco-destination and an example to follow.

shaljan · 07-27-2003, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by r_krishna_prasad

Hi some one please reply to my essay....
I would be happy if the mistakes were pointed out...
thanking u...
krishna

You need to improve your writing skills

sighsigh · 07-27-2003, 04:03 PM

My essay is below, please point it. Thanks a lot

As a travel lover, I would like to visit Australia if I have an oppotunity.

Australia is not only a country but also a continent. Because of the activities of earth skell, Australia has become a contineant cut far from others, which lead to evolutiion in a different way. Many animals found in Australia have been extincted in other continents. They have lived peacefully there for hundrends of thousands years. I am eager to see them face to face.

Another reason is the wonderful weather around year. Although it is very hot in summer, the other seasons in this lonely continent are enjoyable. The beatiful white sands beach, the perfect weather, the long coastline are the treasures of Australian and the dreamland for travellers, especially from Europe.

Thirdly, I can't wait to see several my friends and relatives living there who I have not seen for years. That must be an excited moment for all of us.

If I were offered this opportunity to be aboad for two weeks, I would head to this great country--Australia as soon as possible.

crackit · 07-29-2003, 02:06 PM

If get the opportunity to visit a forign country for two weeks than i would like to visit south africa. It has been my long desire to visit south africa. I provide follwing reasons for my choice.

First of all, i am fan of wild life. I like watching birds, animals and venture into unexplored jungles. south africa is full of jungles, various animal species and birds. For a true animal lover like me it is not any less than a heaven. Morever, we can find lions in south africa. Lion is favourite animal and that too south african lion is of specail type. Also, we get various kind of fruits that are delicious.

Second reason for my choice is my long cherished desire to visit the cape of town. It is the southermost town in south africa located at the tip of african continent. Also, i would lile to visit all the musiams dedicated to mahatma gandhi. The great indian leader started his non-cooperation movement against the british empire in south africa.
he is my ideal hero and the opportunity will be god-given.

Thus, i would like to utilize the oppotunity to spend some time in dense forests where i can find some peace far away from the hubbub of city life. Also i wil get opportunity to meet new people, see new culture.

karimo · 08-08-2003, 05:06 PM

In my rather unimaginative childhood fantasies I pictured myself traveling throughout the world and visiting countries that I cannot even locate on a map. But one country has always captivated me more than any. It is a country so deeply rooted in romance and myth yet so full of energy and life, it is a country similar to mine in so many ways but also different in its own charming manner. That country is Greece.

Greece is almost synonymous with romance, myth, and history. The whole country is dotted with ruins of an ancient culture whose impact on the modern world is unquestionable. It is true that one can see the artifacts of ancient Greece in countless museums outside the country but to see them in their natural setting is sure to be a different experience. One particular site that can single handedly keep me occupied for a week is the acropolis. This temple complex is probably the prototype of most western building styles, and the visual trickery played by its leaning pillars is a miracle of ancient engineering. And this is only one site in one city. The country is brimming with ancient ruins, churches, mosques, and fortresses that tell a unique and long story.

Rather than being trapped in historical tourism, Greece is also famous for its idyllic getaways and carefree destinations. The Greek islands are a famous and almost stereotypical aspect of luxury, but I am more interested in a set of less glamorous beaches. I would love to visit the public beaches in Athens and Thessaloniki where I can meet the locals and hear them chatter in their melodic tongue while I eat fish bought from a food stall. Greek people are famous for being friendly, warm, and (to be honest) loud; since I come from a Mediterranean country myself I think I will fit in with them rather nicely and make many friends. Greek cuisine is also another nice, non-ancient experience I would not like to miss, eating baklava made by someone whose job is to make baklava is likely to be a good experience. The weather in Greece is another factor that attracts me. It's so dependable, they get a reasonably long dry warm season in summer so I can enjoy the country without the burden of maneuvering an umbrella for most of the vacation.

Throughout my life I've had fixations on a number of countries. In most cases the fixation just subsided. In two cases I visited the countries and was greatly disappointed to see I had drawn too romantic an image. Greece is the only fascination that has lived with me from childhood. It doesn't seem to wash away and I hope that when I have a chance to visit it, Greece would turn out to be just as I expect it.

________________________________________

So everyone please rate this, I haven't written anything but mathematical formulae since hi school so TWE and GRE analytical are really getting on my nerves. If you have comments fine, but please give me a score range as well.

ccube · 11-25-2003, 12:35 AM

China and America have much unique strength. China is a traditional country with thousand-year-long history. America established within last two hundred years. However, America is the world's strongest country in the world now. These two totally different country attracted me most. I have been to the USA for a year of Unversity Exchange Student program. During a year of study there, I met a lot of friendly people and had visited many cities. Had I a chance to visit a foreign country for two weeks, I would definitely have chosen the USA.

Many people have to visit some famous cities and places in America. I had missed some of them in my last visit to the USA. I have heard of many great places there, such as the Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building, and Hollywood. In fact, not only Los Angeles, but also many cities, such as New York, had I been to before. However, there are some places I have not been to worth my visit. For instance, the Yellow Stone Country Park will show me enormous amont of natural creatures, and the visit will be the best Biology lesson for me. In addition, the Miami beach is such a famous beach that its reputation is world wide known.

In addition, I missed my friends in Los Angeles. I have met a lot of nice people lived in Los Angeles before. They are my dormitory roommates, classmates, people I met during my travel, and my friends' friends. I have kept in touch with many of them during these five years. Making friends with foreigners is the best way to know their country's culture. I understand the difference between Chinese culture and American culture from the different living styles of me and my friends in America. Had I chances to meet them at once, I would have understood how much I have changed and how much they have changed during these years of study and works. "Time flies", all of us have changed in some aspects but friendship.

In conclusion, I have to re-visit the USA. The fact is I have to visit places that I have to visit, and I have to visit the people I need to visit again. This valuable opportunties will let me understand how much the country changed and how much it remained unchange.

Quan_dui_hong · 02-03-2004, 02:15 AM

An opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks is a wonderful gift for every travel-loving teenagers . If I have that wonderful gift, I will obviously not hesitate to choose Egypt. There are two reasons for my choice.

Firstly, there’s no other place that is better than Egypt to go to discover the Ancient Egyptian culture. The Ancient Egypt is world-known to be the longest-lived civilization of the ancient world, and its culture is among the most developed ancient cultures. All mankind appreciate its cultural achievements with respectation. I myself am always fascinated by the mystery and myths of the Ancient Egyptian culture. So having a chance to see with my own eyes, to hear with my own ears, to smell with my own nose, to touch with my own hand and to experience the real Egyptian culture is too great for me. It’s in Egypt where I can admire the beautiful Egyptian antiques and potteries, try to learn the hieroglyphs. walk in the long, dark tunnels which probably lead to secret rooms inside the pyramids.All of those activities are beyond my satisfaction.

Secondly, Egyptian beauty is always so attractive. The country is such a beautiful land with the green Nile, the beautiful blossoming pink lotus flowers along the river bank, and the mighty pyramids standing imposingly in the blazing sunshine of the desert. Everyone from around the world comes to Giza to admire one of the seven wonders of the world - the pyramids of Egypt, which now symbolize the incredible creativity and power of the Ancient Egyptian people.

One of my biggest dreams will become true if I have a real trip of this kind. Two weeks is a perfect time for me to discover everything about Egypt culture and it will be the most wonderful and unforgettable experience in my life.

Plz help me correct my essay!

ditoman · 02-03-2004, 03:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Quan_dui_hong

An opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks is a wonderful gift for every travel-loving teenagers .(why just teenager? It is better that teenagers is omitted.) If I have that wonderful gift, I will obviously not hesitate to choose Egypt. There are two reasons for my choice. (The introduction of body is recommended here.)

Firstly, there’s no other place that is better than Egypt to go to discover the Ancient Egyptian culture. The Ancient Egypt is world-known to be the longest-lived civilization of the ancient world, and its culture is among the most developed ancient cultures. All mankind appreciate its cultural achievements with respectation(respect). (In addition to,besides this, )I myself am always fascinated by the mystery and myths of the Ancient Egyptian culture. So having a chance to see with my own eyes, to hear with my own ears, to smell with my own nose, to touch with my own hand(hands) and to experience the real Egyptian culture is too great for me. (By the way,)It’s in Egypt where I can admire the beautiful Egyptian antiques and potteries, try to learn the hieroglyphs. walk in the long, dark tunnels which probably lead to secret rooms inside the pyramids.All of those activities are beyond my satisfaction.

Secondly, Egyptian beauty is always so attractive. The country is such a beautiful land with the green Nile, the beautiful blossoming pink lotus flowers along the river bank, and the mighty pyramids standing imposingly in the blazing sunshine of the desert. Everyone from around the world comes to Giza to admire one of the seven wonders of the world - the pyramids of Egypt, which now symbolize the incredible creativity and power of the Ancient Egyptian people. (And this will be first place to want me to go.)

One of my biggest dreams will become(come) true if I have a real trip of this kind. Two weeks is a perfect time for me to discover everything about Egypt culture and it will be the most wonderful and unforgettable experience in my life.

Plz help me correct my essay!

Quan_dui_hong · 02-05-2004, 01:59 PM

Thank you very much! My writing is still poor, but I'm trying

ditoman · 02-20-2004, 08:59 AM

Topic #156:

You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which
country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and details to explain
your choice.

People sometimes talk about the country they want to visit. Before I reveal
my opinion about this issue, I think that the statement in the topic assumes
that I can go to any country for two weeks. Under this assumption, my choice
would be America because America is the most developed country to study at
my major, computer science, and I can meet with HolleyWood celebrities.

More than anything else, I would like to go to America because it is the best
place to study in. America has much developed in many disciplines, especially
engineering subjects. In addition to this, America universities have many
people who reward Nobel prizes, many savants, and very beautiful campuses. If
i could take an education in there, I think that I would devote myself to my
study.

The next thing i'd like to mention here is that I always want to meet with
HolleyWood celebrities. I have met with many celebrities in theaters and TV
programs at least for 10 years. My meeting with them and getting signatures
from them would give me another pleasures. In this manner, I could enjoy
meeting with them.

In conclusion, if I would win a lottery and a chance to go to anywhere is
given to me without worrying money, I would not hesitate to choose America.
It would give me chances to feel developed computer technology as well as
other enjoyments like meeting with HolleyWood stars.

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07-27-2003, 11:11 AM	#21 (permalink)
shaljan Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 8	Comment on my version of the essay You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. The sparkling white sun-kissed islands; crystal clear lagoons studded with profusely coloured corals; azure warm seas with an undisturbed , exotic marine life; palm-fringed islands; the pervading serenity; all of it summarized by the famous Moroccan traveller, Ibn Battuta, on describing Maldives as “ one of the wonders of the world”. The Maldivian archipelago, a beautiful string of 1190 low-lying coral islands scattered across the equator in the vast expanse of the Indian Ocean, is the tropical paradise I would like to visit for two weeks. The Sun, the sand and the sea. These are just the three simple realities beckoning me from far to these little islets, giving as a result, a glorious sense of happiness and proving to be a heavenly getaway from the world and its worries. The Maldives teaches the visitors the art of doing nothing, simply lazing around and enjoying some the most spectacular and colourful vistas offered by Nature. Over 80 resort islands, each of them surrounded by a halo of sugar-sand beaches and crystal clear seas, cloaked in lush palm groves provide exotic island hideaways. The brilliantly colourful coral reefs, making the Maldivian seascapes amongst the most enchanting in the world, is a nature’s treasure house, an El Dora do for diving enthusiasts, providing opportunities to experience the unique and beautiful underwater scenery which is a realm of great variety of fish, corals and other marine denizens. Fishing is another major sport in the Maldives. With water constituting over 99% of the total area, it comes as no surprise that the country flaunts some of the best fishing grounds in the world. Moreover, cruising along the aquamarine waters from atoll to atoll is an unforgettable experience. Parasailing on multi-coloured parachutes over the warm waters of the Indian Ocean is an incredible experience. Water sausages and water scooters also make interesting rides. With tropical beauty abounding in the region, photography is another rewarding pastime. In today’s delicate ecosystem where an even more fragile world of corals is systematically being damaged by dredging, bleaching and other man-made methods, the little, exotic islands of the Maldives have another story to tell. The harmonized culture, environment, and tourism in the Maldives are reaping in greater benefits, all making this enchanting island-nation a unique premium eco-destination and an example to follow.

07-27-2003, 04:03 PM	#23 (permalink)
sighsigh Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 27	My essay is below, please point it. Thanks a lot As a travel lover, I would like to visit Australia if I have an oppotunity. Australia is not only a country but also a continent. Because of the activities of earth skell, Australia has become a contineant cut far from others, which lead to evolutiion in a different way. Many animals found in Australia have been extincted in other continents. They have lived peacefully there for hundrends of thousands years. I am eager to see them face to face. Another reason is the wonderful weather around year. Although it is very hot in summer, the other seasons in this lonely continent are enjoyable. The beatiful white sands beach, the perfect weather, the long coastline are the treasures of Australian and the dreamland for travellers, especially from Europe. Thirdly, I can't wait to see several my friends and relatives living there who I have not seen for years. That must be an excited moment for all of us. If I were offered this opportunity to be aboad for two weeks, I would head to this great country--Australia as soon as possible.

07-29-2003, 02:06 PM	#24 (permalink)
crackit Eager! Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: India Posts: 90	If get the opportunity to visit a forign country for two weeks than i would like to visit south africa. It has been my long desire to visit south africa. I provide follwing reasons for my choice. First of all, i am fan of wild life. I like watching birds, animals and venture into unexplored jungles. south africa is full of jungles, various animal species and birds. For a true animal lover like me it is not any less than a heaven. Morever, we can find lions in south africa. Lion is favourite animal and that too south african lion is of specail type. Also, we get various kind of fruits that are delicious. Second reason for my choice is my long cherished desire to visit the cape of town. It is the southermost town in south africa located at the tip of african continent. Also, i would lile to visit all the musiams dedicated to mahatma gandhi. The great indian leader started his non-cooperation movement against the british empire in south africa. he is my ideal hero and the opportunity will be god-given. Thus, i would like to utilize the oppotunity to spend some time in dense forests where i can find some peace far away from the hubbub of city life. Also i wil get opportunity to meet new people, see new culture.

08-08-2003, 05:06 PM	#25 (permalink)
karimo Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Egypt Posts: 23	In my rather unimaginative childhood fantasies I pictured myself traveling throughout the world and visiting countries that I cannot even locate on a map. But one country has always captivated me more than any. It is a country so deeply rooted in romance and myth yet so full of energy and life, it is a country similar to mine in so many ways but also different in its own charming manner. That country is Greece. Greece is almost synonymous with romance, myth, and history. The whole country is dotted with ruins of an ancient culture whose impact on the modern world is unquestionable. It is true that one can see the artifacts of ancient Greece in countless museums outside the country but to see them in their natural setting is sure to be a different experience. One particular site that can single handedly keep me occupied for a week is the acropolis. This temple complex is probably the prototype of most western building styles, and the visual trickery played by its leaning pillars is a miracle of ancient engineering. And this is only one site in one city. The country is brimming with ancient ruins, churches, mosques, and fortresses that tell a unique and long story. Rather than being trapped in historical tourism, Greece is also famous for its idyllic getaways and carefree destinations. The Greek islands are a famous and almost stereotypical aspect of luxury, but I am more interested in a set of less glamorous beaches. I would love to visit the public beaches in Athens and Thessaloniki where I can meet the locals and hear them chatter in their melodic tongue while I eat fish bought from a food stall. Greek people are famous for being friendly, warm, and (to be honest) loud; since I come from a Mediterranean country myself I think I will fit in with them rather nicely and make many friends. Greek cuisine is also another nice, non-ancient experience I would not like to miss, eating baklava made by someone whose job is to make baklava is likely to be a good experience. The weather in Greece is another factor that attracts me. It's so dependable, they get a reasonably long dry warm season in summer so I can enjoy the country without the burden of maneuvering an umbrella for most of the vacation. Throughout my life I've had fixations on a number of countries. In most cases the fixation just subsided. In two cases I visited the countries and was greatly disappointed to see I had drawn too romantic an image. Greece is the only fascination that has lived with me from childhood. It doesn't seem to wash away and I hope that when I have a chance to visit it, Greece would turn out to be just as I expect it. ________________________________________ So everyone please rate this, I haven't written anything but mathematical formulae since hi school so TWE and GRE analytical are really getting on my nerves. If you have comments fine, but please give me a score range as well.

11-25-2003, 12:35 AM	#26 (permalink)
ccube Eager! Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 72	China and America have much unique strength. China is a traditional country with thousand-year-long history. America established within last two hundred years. However, America is the world's strongest country in the world now. These two totally different country attracted me most. I have been to the USA for a year of Unversity Exchange Student program. During a year of study there, I met a lot of friendly people and had visited many cities. Had I a chance to visit a foreign country for two weeks, I would definitely have chosen the USA. Many people have to visit some famous cities and places in America. I had missed some of them in my last visit to the USA. I have heard of many great places there, such as the Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building, and Hollywood. In fact, not only Los Angeles, but also many cities, such as New York, had I been to before. However, there are some places I have not been to worth my visit. For instance, the Yellow Stone Country Park will show me enormous amont of natural creatures, and the visit will be the best Biology lesson for me. In addition, the Miami beach is such a famous beach that its reputation is world wide known. In addition, I missed my friends in Los Angeles. I have met a lot of nice people lived in Los Angeles before. They are my dormitory roommates, classmates, people I met during my travel, and my friends' friends. I have kept in touch with many of them during these five years. Making friends with foreigners is the best way to know their country's culture. I understand the difference between Chinese culture and American culture from the different living styles of me and my friends in America. Had I chances to meet them at once, I would have understood how much I have changed and how much they have changed during these years of study and works. "Time flies", all of us have changed in some aspects but friendship. In conclusion, I have to re-visit the USA. The fact is I have to visit places that I have to visit, and I have to visit the people I need to visit again. This valuable opportunties will let me understand how much the country changed and how much it remained unchange.

02-03-2004, 02:15 AM	#27 (permalink)
Quan_dui_hong Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 2	An opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks is a wonderful gift for every travel-loving teenagers . If I have that wonderful gift, I will obviously not hesitate to choose Egypt. There are two reasons for my choice. Firstly, there’s no other place that is better than Egypt to go to discover the Ancient Egyptian culture. The Ancient Egypt is world-known to be the longest-lived civilization of the ancient world, and its culture is among the most developed ancient cultures. All mankind appreciate its cultural achievements with respectation. I myself am always fascinated by the mystery and myths of the Ancient Egyptian culture. So having a chance to see with my own eyes, to hear with my own ears, to smell with my own nose, to touch with my own hand and to experience the real Egyptian culture is too great for me. It’s in Egypt where I can admire the beautiful Egyptian antiques and potteries, try to learn the hieroglyphs. walk in the long, dark tunnels which probably lead to secret rooms inside the pyramids.All of those activities are beyond my satisfaction. Secondly, Egyptian beauty is always so attractive. The country is such a beautiful land with the green Nile, the beautiful blossoming pink lotus flowers along the river bank, and the mighty pyramids standing imposingly in the blazing sunshine of the desert. Everyone from around the world comes to Giza to admire one of the seven wonders of the world - the pyramids of Egypt, which now symbolize the incredible creativity and power of the Ancient Egyptian people. One of my biggest dreams will become true if I have a real trip of this kind. Two weeks is a perfect time for me to discover everything about Egypt culture and it will be the most wonderful and unforgettable experience in my life. Plz help me correct my essay!

02-05-2004, 01:59 PM	#29 (permalink)
Quan_dui_hong Trying to make mom and pop proud Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 2	Thank you very much! My writing is still poor, but I'm trying

02-20-2004, 08:59 AM	#30 (permalink)
ditoman Within my grasp! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Republic of Korea Posts: 113	Topic #156: You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. People sometimes talk about the country they want to visit. Before I reveal my opinion about this issue, I think that the statement in the topic assumes that I can go to any country for two weeks. Under this assumption, my choice would be America because America is the most developed country to study at my major, computer science, and I can meet with HolleyWood celebrities. More than anything else, I would like to go to America because it is the best place to study in. America has much developed in many disciplines, especially engineering subjects. In addition to this, America universities have many people who reward Nobel prizes, many savants, and very beautiful campuses. If i could take an education in there, I think that I would devote myself to my study. The next thing i'd like to mention here is that I always want to meet with HolleyWood celebrities. I have met with many celebrities in theaters and TV programs at least for 10 years. My meeting with them and getting signatures from them would give me another pleasures. In this manner, I could enjoy meeting with them. In conclusion, if I would win a lottery and a chance to go to anywhere is given to me without worrying money, I would not hesitate to choose America. It would give me chances to feel developed computer technology as well as other enjoyments like meeting with HolleyWood stars.

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