Please help me evaluate my essay: Parents are best teachers

[hainamluke]

Do u agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

Anyone who provides me with new knowledge or experience can be considered as my teacher. Admittedly, my greatest teachers are my parents. In fact, my parents have played a distinctive and important role in shaping who I am today.

 

First and foremost, it is parents who teach their children most crucial lessons. Specifically, your first lessons, which are how to eat, to stand, to walk, and to speak are usually given by your parents. These are conspicuously basic but essential to everyone. Besides, almost moral things taught by parents seem to be more important than knowledge given at the school. In other word, parents are apparently better than teachers at teaching children how to live in a good and meaningful way, which is most important to one’s life.

 

Furthermore, parents always want to bring their students the best education that they could. Obviously, some students may not be given the best education that they deserve because of numerous obstacles. Some famous schools refuse poor students, or high-developed societies discriminate black people. Yet, no parents discourage their students in study if they could afford the tuition fee. Moreover, they are even willing to make their best effort to support their children’s education. Understandably, some teachers teach for money, but all parents do for their love.

 

Last but not least, parents find the most effective way of conveying knowledge to their own children. In reality, that a class may hold up to hundreds of students obstructs the teacher from providing individual student with a deep understanding. Meanwhile, my dad usually does not hesitate to help me comprehend an issue until I totally master it. In addition, he always guides me to the shortest and easiest way. Perhaps, he is so closed to me that he knows how to teach me effectively.

 

To sum up, parents are the best teachers who dedicatedly teach you throughout your lifetime. Their love together with their care constitutes their greatest work, and the mature and successful you will be its ultimate achievement.

 

I highly appreciate your comments! Thanks a lot!

[golden]

I tried to make correction based on my knowledge. Bold words and phrases are replaced by possible correct ones. Thanks

 

 

Do u agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

Anyone who provides me with new knowledge or experience can be considered as my teacher. Admittedly, my greatest teachers are my parents. In fact, my parents have played a distinctive and important role in shaping who I am today.

 

First and foremost, it is(they are) parents who teach their children most crucial lessons. Specifically, your first lessons, which are(like) how to eat, to stand, to walk, and to speak are usually given by your parents. These are conspicuously basic but essential to everyone. Besides, almost moral things taught by parents seem to be more important than knowledge given at the school. In other word, parents are apparently better than teachers at teaching children how to live in a good and meaningful way, which is most important to one’s life.

 

Furthermore, parents always want to bring(provide) their students(children) the best education that they could. Obviously(But), some students may not be given the best education that they deserve because of numerous obstacles. Some famous schools refuse poor students, or high-developed societies discriminate black people. Yet, no parents discourage their students(children) in study if they could afford the tuition fee. Moreover, they are even willing to make their best effort to support their children’s education. Understandably, some teachers teach for money, but all parents do for their love.

 

Last but not least, parents find the most effective way of conveying knowledge to their own children. In reality, that(x) a class may hold up to hundreds of students, obstructs the teacher from providing individual student with a deep understanding. Meanwhile, my dad usually does not hesitate to help me comprehend an issue until I totally master it. In addition, he always guides me to the shortest and easiest way. Perhaps, he is so closed to me that he knows how to teach me effectively.

 

To sum up, parents are the best teachers who dedicatedly teach you throughout your lifetime. Their love together with their care constitutes their greatest work, and the mature and successful you will be its ultimate achievement.

 

I highly appreciate your comments! Thanks a lot!

[saracoo]

Furthermore, parents always want to bring their students the best education that they could. Obviously, some students may not be given the best education that they deserve because of numerous obstacles. Some famous schools refuse poor students, or high-developed societies discriminate black people. Yet, no parents discourage their students in study if they could afford the tuition fee. Moreover, they are even willing to make their best effort to support their children’s education. Understandably, some teachers teach for money, but all parents do for their love.

 

I think this paragraph try to say parents are children's best supporters since they do whatever they can, but does not mention the key point that they are the "best teachers". Therefore I feel a little bit unconvinced. and a little bit deviated from topic. :)

 

But over all I feel hainamluke effectively develops an argument. Those minor errors do not interfere with the reader’s understanding, an essay like this one can still earn a top score.

[lexi201189]

hello everyone.I m a new comer in this forum. your essay gave a lot of information of parent's role in forming who you are. To support this view, you mentioned 3 reason in each para after the introduction. But actually, I couldnt find out what is the main point of each. I think you should make it clear. except this , your essay is well-done.