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Thread: "How is your generation different from your parents’ generation"-Please fix it.

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    "How is your generation different from your parents’ generation"-Please fix it.

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    Every generation of people is different in important ways. How is your generation different from your parents’ generation? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer

    In Thailand, there are many important things that happen in every period. And each generation has different living, for example, Thai people, 250 years ago, had never known a word "car", as people in 200 years later. I think the most important thing, which is completely different between my parent period and my period, is the convenient communication. The communication, today, is more convenient, because people can use the Internet to contract or communicate with each other. Moreover, people, in my generation can use the mobile phone, which is the useful device for the convenient communicate. The following essays will provide reasons and examples to support my opinion.

    First, people, today, can use the Internet to connect to other people. And, this ability to connect is very useful and easy, because people can connect to the Internet that can contract to wherever they want and cheaper, when compare with the communication in parent's time. For example, my parent often tell me about their hard time when they were young. They have to send a mail to their friends who live in another town. However, in the present, they can contract their friends who live in other country by sending the E-mail through the Internet. Therefore, this convenience in the communication is the great thing that different from my parent generation.

    Additionally, the mobile phone that spread using in Thailand is another great different from my parents' generation. In Thailand, we can use the mobile phone to call whoever we want, because almost everyone has its. For example, my parent can contract me very easy by using a mobile phone, but when they were young, they can not contract their parent or friend easily like this. Therefore, the important thing, which is different between my parent period and my period, is the convenient communication.

    In conclusion, I strongly believe that the most important thing, which is completely different between my parent period and my period, is the convenient communication. The communication, today, is more convenient, because people can use the Internet to contract or communicate with each other. Moreover, people, in my generation can use the mobile phone, which is the useful device for the convenient communicate.

  2. #2
    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    hi ms0079!

    Well, there are some ortographic mistakes (among others, you repeated "contract" when you probably mean CONTACT). About these mistakes, although you can correct them with MSWord, i wouldnt worry so much. But then i see that along the whole text you repeat many times some words( communication, convenient/convenience, parent,...). It can make the raters think that you are saying the same thing all the time. Try to use other words if you are going to repeat something.
    Besides that, i think that you should rephrase some sentences, because they seem to be too complicated. Try write your ideas as clear as simple, even if that means to write more simple sentences. It is better to write simple but right sentences that confused long sentences..

    good luck with the next one!

  3. #3
    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    Thanks a lot. Pangrati

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