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kaleza

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Dear TOEFL friends,

I need someone to evaluate my first essay on "are our parents the best teacher". Here is the essay:

One day when I was in the third year of my prep school, our neighbor came to school and takes me to home. This is when I knew that my father has been died. Since this happened, my mother takes care of our family as if my father still exists. I can say that looking to her patient and courage facing the life and taking care of four children, teaches us how to be a hard person facing our difficulties in the life. In contrast, I think that the parents are not the best teacher we have ever known.

On one hand, in the child's first few years, the first impressions about life have been taken from his parents. The way of talking, walking, dressing, the way of eating his food and even his basic morals is taken from his parents.

On the other hand, the parents can not teach everything in our life. For example, they can not teach us how to deal with people or how to choose our friends. This is because they can not face the people in the same way we face it and because they must give their child the chance to get involved with the outside world and get his own experience.

Finally, I see that our parents have a great influence on our general behavior and we can consider them as the first teacher. But they can not be considered as the best teacher the human could have.

please let me know you opinion even with a symbol.

thanks

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Dear TOEFL friends,

I need someone to evaluate my first essay on "are our parents the best teacher". Here is the essay:

One day when I was in the third year of my prep school, our neighbor came to school and takes me to home. This is when I knew that my father has been died. Since this happened, my mother takes care of our family as if my father still exists. I can say that looking to her patient and courage facing the life and taking care of four children, teaches us how to be a hard person facing our difficulties in the life. In contrast, I think that the parents are not the best teacher we have ever known.

On one hand, in the child's first few years, the first impressions about life have been taken from his parents. The way of talking, walking, dressing, the way of eating his food and even his basic morals is taken from his parents.

On the other hand, the parents can not teach everything in our life. For example, they can not teach us how to deal with people or how to choose our friends. This is because they can not face the people in the same way we face it and because they must give their child the chance to get involved with the outside world and get his own experience.

Finally, I see that our parents have a great influence on our general behavior and we can consider them as the first teacher. But they can not be considered as the best teacher the human could have.

 

please let me know you opinion even with a symbol.

thanks

 

It needs a lot of work

Many problems in this essay

some examples:

our neighbor came to school and takes me to home

This is when I knew that my father has been died

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