achieve success by personal looks and dressing style than by good ideas.

[muaxuanve]

I have found this topic on "Just finished the test". This is a real topic given on June 21st (today?). So I give it a try in less than 25 minutes. Thanks for any edit/suggest. Here is my essay.



I strongly disagree that a person can achieve success by his/her personal looks and dressing style than by good ideas. Although good looking appearance can help one to get to success faster or easier, but it does not play a major role on his/her success. The major factor that decides a person’s success is one’s creavity and his/her own ability which mean having good ideas.

When I was in college, I used to envy with some female friends who were really beautiful. They were so attracted and admired by many male friends. They could easily get contacts and essential information from one of many people who adored their appearance. Some of them achieved good scores when the exam is an oral one. However, when having a closer look at these friends, I found out their success came from not only their appearance, but also their knowledge and efforts. Those who did not pay any effort on studying did not get good grade on any exam, regardless it’s an oral or a written exam.Those who paid their attention only on their clothes and make up style did not get a good study result. Life is fairer than I thought.


Now when I have entered a working environment, I have realized deeply that appearance may help a person to touch his/her success faster, but good ideas are things that bring about and strengthen someone’s success. There are many good examples supporting my argument. With the aid of plastic surgery, it's not difficult to become beautiful. If appearance decides success, what else do we need besides a plastic surgery? Nowadays, there are million beauties dressing fashionable everywhere, but only who are smart, have good ideas, good qualities become famous models or actors, actresses. For business women, not every successful business woman is beautiful. Our country’s vice president does not look beautiful, but she is smart and she has been loved by many people because of what she has done, what she has brought out to people in my country. Only good ideas can help her to reach her current position and strengthen her place there.

In short, I believe everyone should care about his/her own appearance and dressing style, but they should care more about updating and deepening their knowledge in order to have more good ideas, because having good ideas is the main reason deciding a person’s success.

[T-TOTO08]

Originally Posted by muaxuanve

I have found this topic on "Just finished the test". This is a real topic given on June 21st (today?). So I give it a try in less than 25 minutes. Thanks for any edit/suggest. Here is my essay.



I strongly disagree that a person can achieve success by his/her personal looks and dressing style than by(his/her) good ideas. Although good looking appearance can help one to get to success faster or easier, but it does not play a major role on his/her success. The major factor that decides a person’s success is one’s creavity and his/her own ability, which mean having good ideas.

When I was in college, I used to envy (with some)my female friends who were really beautiful. They were so (attracted)attractive and admirable (admired)( by) to many male friends. (They could easily get contacts and essential information from one of many people who adored their appearance. note: I am not sure what you are trying to convey here..) Some of them achieved good scores when the exam is an oral one. However, (when having/ this phrase is like for question that symbol like this????? better use the conditional IF)IF YOU TAKE a closer look at these friends,YOU (I ) would find out that (found out) their success came from not only their appearance, but also their knowledge and efforts. Those who did not pay any effort on studying did not get a good grade on any exam, regardless it’s an oral or a written exam.Those who paid (their) attention only (on) to their clothes and (make up/ I know what you are trying to say here ---GIRLS BEAUTY PARPHERNALIA ..but it would look like a verb to somebody.. so you can delete/omit and style would do the work ) style did not get a good grade(study result).( Life is fairer than I thought./this sentence kind of dangling, so omit it)


Now when I have entered a working environment, I have realized deeply that appearance (may) help a person to (touch)makeu his/her success faster, but good ideas are things that bring about and strengthen someone’s success. There are many good examples supporting my argument. With the aid of plastic surgery, it's not difficult to become beautiful. If appearance decides success, what else do we need besides a plastic surgery? Nowadays, there are million of people dressed fashionably( beauties dressing fashionable)in everywhere you go, but only those who are smart, have good ideas, good qualities become successful such as famous models or actors, actresses. For business women, not every successful business woman is beautiful. (Our country’s vice president does not look beautiful/ hehehe..I hope that she is not reading any testmagic toefl forum.. it will make her heart bleedf), but she is smart and love(she has been loved )by many people because of what she has done, what she has brought out to people in my country. Only her good ideas can help her to( reach/ she reach already her position being a vice pres.. so you need another word) maintain her current position and execute her duty as vice president.( strengthen her place there.)

In short, I believe everyone should care about his/her own appearance and dressing style, but they should care more about enhancing(updating and deepening) their knowledge in order to have (more)/many good ideas, because having good ideas (is the main reason deciding a person’s success)would make a person successful in school or to function as a vice president in my country than just by looking and dressing great in appearance only.

I like your ideas... there are some errors but it is always expected due to time constraint.. there are grammatical error such as preposition, tenses such as you trying to use present perfect continous tense instead of simple past...things like that.. dangling modifier...but if you minimize for this kind of blunder.. you will get the higher remarks of 4 here...hope it helps

[muaxuanve]

Hey T-T08T008

Your comments are interesting. Thanks a lot.