"Good neighbor qualities" - please read my essay

[lime]

Neighbors are the people who live near us. In your opinion, what are the qualities of good neighbor? Use specific details and examples in your answer.

 

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Either you are living in the rural area or in the downtown of large cosmopolitan city, it is inevitable for everyone to be surrounded by the people who are inhabitants of contiguous apartments, condos or houses. Those people are our neighbors. During my life I have been living with many neighbors and have different experience from absolutely negative to strongly positive. So far, according to that experience, I strongly believe, that being a good neighbor has to do with three important qualities.

First of all, since neighbors are members of the local community, they should be helpful to each other. Once I was renting a house for two months in very small city in Kentucky. I barely knew anybody in that city, but young couple, who were living in the house across the road, Bud and Kitty. One day when I was out, a damage in the pipe in my kitchen appeared. When I came home I found three inches of water deluge on the floor all over the house. Despite the tube was repaired shortly after my call to the service, it was impossible to stay there for a couple of days. Fortunately, Bud and Kitty figured out about my disaster, knocked to my door and invited me to spend next three days in their house. That was indispensable help from them, that not every neighbor would propose, but it was the token of really good neighbor.

Secondly, "real neighbors" should always be vigilant. There was a story with a friend of mine, Matt. His quite affluent family was on vacation for a month in Mexico and nobody stayed home. One night his neighbor Martha, the old lady in her eighties, who was living in adjacent house, saw a blinking light in one of the windows of Matt's house. She did not hesitate and called police immediately. Officers arrived found that it was a burglary attempt on Matt's family property. That is how Martha, undoubtedly good neighbor, having vigilance, prevented the crime. I honestly wish I had neighbors like Martha.

Finally, good neighbors should always think of other people in their surroundings and do not disturb others by their existence. I used to live in apartment in Moscow and the guy who were living next door had a hobby listen to the hard rock music in the middle of the night turning the volume as high as he could. It was disturbing my golden slumbers and not being able to tolerate it anymore, I changed the apartment and got new neighbor who figured out that I came in stopped by and asked if she could have a relatively loud party once a week till 11 pm. I didn't have the problems with it. It is incontestable, my second neighbor was much better because she considered my presence and did the best she could to avoid disturbing me.

Well, those were the most important qualities a really good neighbor in my opinion should have. Not causing inconvenience to others, being vigilant and being always ready to help are vital characteristics for the person as for part of living community.

[Mono]

Good essay, Vocabulary is good. you can get 5.5-6 points on this essay.

[serarcag]

That's not a strong conclusion, you're only repeating what you said on the previous paragraphs. You have a lot of little grammar mistakes scattered all over the essay. Bad punctuation. Very good vacabulary.

 

Good examples, but you need to connect them with the essay. You can't write something and instantly give an example without making a connection between them. Also, although examples are important, do not extent that much on them, the other work is also important and that's why you didn't worked on the conclusion.

 

Use more formal expressions, you can't write "Well, those were the most important qualities" as if you were giving a speech or talking to someone.

 

Can't score you, but good work.

[lime]

Mono, serarcag, thank you guys for your comments.

 

That's not a strong conclusion, you're only repeating what you said on the previous paragraphs.

I was always thinking that it is exactly what the conclusion should be, isn't it?

 

You have a lot of little grammar mistakes scattered all over the essay. Bad punctuation.

You're right. Small grammar mistakes are my weakness. :(

 

Use more formal expressions, you can't write "Well, those were the most important qualities"

Yeah I agree. I wouldn't use this informal expression in real test. Have used it here just for fun. :)

 

Also, although examples are important, do not extent that much on them, the other work is also important

I don't really understand what you mean by the other work? I used classical pattern "reason-example, reason-example". Please let me know if there is something I don't pay attention to.