View Full Version : Please rate my essay

12-01-2008, 01:24 AM
“Originality does not mean thinking something that was never thought before; it means putting old ideas together in new ways”

We have heard of the proverb “Old Is Gold”. Many people have different and vividly incongruent interpretation of this saying. I interpret it in a somewhat pragmatic way. To assert the opinion about originality, it is implied from the saying that originality culminates itself through burnishing old ideas and then adding your own ingenuity to whatever old beliefs were already existent.
My view about the issue is somewhat divided. I believe that we shouldn’t always reiterate and cogitate on the old thoughts and just present them ditto without our own interpretation. Great thought leaders over the centuries have added their own understanding of the old theories and hypothesis. To traverse in the path of the great leaders is expected by their common descendants; however history has proved many of the leaders wrong. It is thus evident blindly following and contemplating old beliefs and ideas without proactive and progressive thinking is bound to repeat failure. Thus to come up with great ideas and truth it is imperative that we should also think independently.
Great minds are proactive and agile craftsman. Thus we should also come up with new ideas to show our originality. If scientists only research and reiterate on old procedures then the breakthroughs on technology and medical science wouldn’t have been possible. If great leaders don’t come up with new ideology, new principles in politics and sociology wouldn’t emerge and we have to live with old theories and assertions, some of which may be obsolete in the modernized civilization.
Thus to conclude my understanding of originality I would emphatically take the stand of bipartisan. To my opinion, originality should be reinterpretation of old ideas in a new prospective as well as coming up with new and nascent theories and philosophy.

12-24-2008, 10:42 PM
Based on the ETS scoring guidelines, I believe your essay would score a 2. Although you have the organization of a 3 or possibly 4 paper, the weaknesses in the development and errors in usage detract from its overall readability.

Tips: avoid awkward word choices. I can tell that you've been studying for the GRE and have accumulated a lot of unfamiliar vocabulary words. That's great, but you need to be cautious, because you use some of those words incorrectly or ineffectively:

"vividly," "incongruent," "burnishing," "culminates," "existent" (I don't think that's a word...), "cogitate," "ditto," "traverse," "proactive," "bipartisan," "nascent." Some of these word choices, such as "nascent" and "traverse" are so wrong as to be exactly the opposite of what I think you intended.

There are also some salient grammar errors:

'great minds are...craftsman," "to my opinion," "originality should be THE reinterpretation as well as THE coming up with..."

Avoid searching out GRE -sounding synonyms and focus more precisely on your argument.