View Full Version : Grade my SAT essay PLEASE

12-30-2008, 04:18 PM
My essay is from the 1st Practice Test in the Official SAT Study Guide. I am taking my SATs on January 24th and I would appreciate any help that I can get to prepare. Also please keep in mind that I wrote this in the 25-minute time frame that I would have been given on the actual SATs. Please grade on a scale of 1-6. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

To change is to risk something, making us feel insecure. Not to change is a bigger risk, though we seldom feel that way. There is no choice but to change. People, however, cannot be motivated to change from the outside. All of our motivation comes from within.
-Adapted from Ward Sybouts, Planning in School Administration: A Handbook

Assignment: What motivates people to change? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

People are motivated to change due to their unhappiness with themselves or because of the chance to better themselves by changing. Some prime examples of this are losing weight or deciding to propose to a significant other. The changes are always a risk though, which may halt the decision to change, no matter what the motivation be.

Losing weight is usually, not always, motivated by a person's unhappiness with themselves. A person who aspires to lose weight wants to change what they look like, or maybe they would like to lose weight for the state of their health. By losing weight, and achieving their goal, they will feel accomplished and happy.

When a person proposes to their boyfriend/girlfriend, it is because they are happy with what they share with this person and would like to take it to the next level. By making the relationship solid, official, and legal, the proposer will become happier with the relationship and will appreciate that person even more for sharing those feelings.

No matter what it is that motivates a person to change, there are always risks involved. A person who wants to lose weight could possibly fail miserably, gaining weight; therefore becoming more unhappy then they were to begin with. A person who proposes takes the risk of being turned down, which could lead to not even being with the person they proposed to. All in all, the risks involved in change could be a major deterrent in the motivation of the change, no matter what happiness it may bring.

02-20-2009, 01:32 AM
That's really, really short for an SAT essay. On the real SAT test, it would get either a 2/6 or a 3/6, most likely.