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stranger4ever
09-08-2010, 03:14 PM
Note:i wrote this essay in 25 min according to the SAT essay,Please grade it, min1 & max 6.

ARE there heroes who will be remembered forever? This is one of many questions that people ask these days. Well, no one can answer such a question because such a question will be answered as time passes by. To get an exact answer quickly, you will have to abet from apsychic, which is not a wise idea! But, we can make a probability to approximately find an answer.

That is why I decided to make a contest about heroes, to see if people still remember them. Because Henry Wadsworth once said:"Time has a doomsday book, on whose pages he is continually recording illustrious names. But as often as a new name is written there, an old one disappears. Only a few stand in illuminated characters never to be effaced. Before starting my contest, I had to collect some heroes' names. There are too many, and in various categories. A person can be a hero in anything, as an artist, solider, president, inventor, and the list goes on. Covert that I finished writing my questions, I directly started the contest. Not only in my country, but also worldwide, by posting my contest on my Face book and MySpace account.

The contest in my country was going fine. Many people participated, but few who had good answers. Questions related to the country's heroes where almost answered perfectly, hence history is being studied in school. The contest on the web was surprisingly being answered from all ages and countries. But some left some comments that shows that some people do not even care about heroes. I remember a comment from a girl called Sandy saying:" Who is Thomas Edison, is he renowned, why do not you just ask about Justin Bieber, he is much renown than him!"Others said that my question where knotty.

But some where good, one gave me the whole biography of Shakespeare. And the other gave me Leonardo Da Vinch painting names with an explanation of each paint. Adam caught my attention on his Michael Jackson comment. He explained how the king of pop impacts his life and how he was affected by Michael's Biography. This proofs my theory that anyone could be a hero in any category .

After doing the contest, I made the following conclusion. Heroes are like one's favorite song, it may last for a while, but it will be replaced by a new one later. Except for those who believe that nothing loses its value when it becomes old. I end my observation by saying that It does not matter how long years will fly by, at least some people will know our heroes value and try to spread the knowledge worldwide.

Erin
09-08-2010, 08:04 PM
Can you tell me what the essay prompt is?

stranger4ever
09-08-2010, 08:25 PM
An essay prompt" is basically a question. Prompt, as in "to incite" or move into action... for writing. It's what you respond to in order to write an essay. It could be one sentence, or a collection of sentences, depending on what type and how long of an essay the asker is seeking.
A writing prompt gives you a topic that you are expected to respond to in an essay. The length will depend on the prompt. Expect around a page written or typed.
In this essay, the prompt is ARE there heroes who will be remembered forever?

Can you please grade it

Erin
09-10-2010, 01:33 AM
In this essay, the prompt is ARE there heroes who will be remembered forever? Can you please grade it


ARE there heroes who will be remembered forever? This is one of many questions that people ask these days. Well, no one can answer such a question because such a question will be answered as time passes by. To get an exact answer quickly, you will have to abet from apsychic, which is not a wise idea! But, we can make a probability to approximately find an answer.
There is some awkward writing in here, for example, 'abet from apsychic'. Better: You would need to seek help from a psychic.

That is why I decided to make a contest about heroes, to see if people still remember them. Because Henry Wadsworth once said:"Time has a doomsday book, on whose pages he is continually recording illustrious names. But as often as a new name is written there, an old one disappears. Only a few stand in illuminated characters never to be effaced. Before starting my contest, I had to collect some heroes' names. There are too many, and in various categories. A person can be a hero in anything, as an artist, solider, president, inventor, and the list goes on. Covert that I finished writing my questions, I directly started the contest. Not only in my country, but also worldwide, by posting my contest on my Face book and MySpace account.
Did you have that quote memorized? It's unusual to quote that many words in an SAT essay.

The contest in my country was going fine. Many people participated, but few who had good answers. Questions related to the country's heroes where almost answered perfectly, hence history is being studied in school. The contest on the web was surprisingly being answered from all ages and countries. But some left some comments that shows that some people do not even care about heroes. I remember a comment from a girl called Sandy saying:" Who is Thomas Edison, is he renowned, why do not you just ask about Justin Bieber, he is much renown than him!"Others said that my question where knotty.
So you're talking about research you conducted? This is very unusual for the SAT essay.

And this should be reworded: my question where knotty; it doesn't really mean anything as it's written.

But some where good, one gave me the whole biography of Shakespeare. And the other gave me Leonardo Da Vinch painting names with an explanation of each paint. Adam caught my attention on his Michael Jackson comment. He explained how the king of pop impacts his life and how he was affected by Michael's Biography. This proofs my theory that anyone could be a hero in any category .

After doing the contest, I made the following conclusion. Heroes are like one's favorite song, it may last for a while, but it will be replaced by a new one later. Except for those who believe that nothing loses its value when it becomes old. I end my observation by saying that It does not matter how long years will fly by, at least some people will know our heroes value and try to spread the knowledge worldwide.This is an interesting piece of writing, but the format doesn't really match what the SAT is looking for. You could talk about your research, but do so in the fashion of an expository essay, not as if you were telling a story. Also, you might set off some alarms by writing about research that you personally conducted specifically on the subject matter coincidentally asked about in the SAT prompt.

I would estimate the score of this SAT essay as about a 2/6. Feel free to rewrite it here and resubmit! :)