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damfool
09-18-2010, 03:55 PM
"If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable.":eek:

The statement assert that it is justifiable to achieve any goals if it worth, regardless of the consequences and other facts. I cast doubts about the conclusion. If people try to achieve their goals without taking consideration, the world will be chaos. Since no one will care about what influence may attribute in order to pursue their own goal.

First of all, if a business manís final goal is to make as much money as it can be, he might use some malignant measures to achieve it. Therefore, others might suffer the bad consequence it may bring. For example, in order to get a higher profit the business man might use fake stuff to replace the real one, since the fake stuff cost cheaper in advance. A goal should be under certain censorship and regulation, otherwise it might be harmful to others.

Secondly, take my friend as an instance. He loves basketball so much and he he tried so hard to strengthen himself to be the captain of the school team. He practiced everyday for more than six hours a day. Although he made it to the team captain, he was still a student at that moment, he skipped so many classes that he failed in most subjects he was in. Finally, the school kicked him out of the team due to the grades limitation. He lost his captain title and also his grades. Itís not justifiable only looks on one aspect in any decision.

Last but not least, when people face real test challenge like college entrance exam and ext, in order to achieve the high grades goal, some people would come up with a malign idea about cheating on exams. This kind of goal is definitely unjustifiable. If they cheat in exams, the exam lost its integrity, therefore the society will lost its balance on school education or life time works. Although, everyone who takes the exam is willing to get higher grades, cheating is not allowed and accepted by the society. More importantly, it might become a life time stain.

Whenever people are trying to come up with a goal in mind, they should consider carefully from all aspect whether itís accepted by the society or it might be harmful to others. People should also discern whether the goal is worthy or not, if it worth people should use the proper way to achieve. Noxious ideas might come up to mind, but thatís the challenge we need to face and make the right decisions.

propensity
09-18-2010, 07:37 PM
This is a well organized essay. Introduction and conclusion is ok. The examples are perfectly matched. But there are some common grammatical mistakes here like "f they cheat in exams, the exam lost its integrity, therefore the society will lost its balance on school education or life time works."
Some lines are obscure "Although, everyone who takes the exam is willing to get higher grades, cheating is not allowed and accepted by the society."

I think this will score 4.0-4.5.

pls rate my essay here
http://www.urch.com/forums/gre-awa/124290-urgent-please-rate-essay.html