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View Full Version : First posting, GRE AWA ARG. ESSAY



bill_gates
07-15-2005, 03:52 AM
Hey people of testmagic forum,
I m Kaushik from india and i have been told abt this site by BigDuke as i m going to take the exam real soon. I have been very eager to get started on the AWA part tht if i made any routine mistake plz forgive me and plz rate my essay.

ARGUMENT ESSAY:
“A new discovery warrants a drastic change in the diets of people living in United States. Two scientists have recently suggested that omega-3 fatty acids (found in some fish and fish oils) play a key role in mental health. Out ancestors, who are less saturated fat and more polyunsaturated fat, including omega-3 fatty acids, were much less likely to suffer from depression than we are today. Moreover, modern societies- such as those in Japan and Taiwan- that consume large quantities of fish report depression rates lower than that in the United States. Given this link between omega-3 fatty acids and depression, it is important for all people in the United States to increase their consumption of fish in order to prevent depression.”


The report on omega-3 fatty acids concludes that all people in the United States should increase their consumption of fish to prevent depression. This report is based on suggestion given by two scientists. These assumptions made by the scientists are completely baseless and they are not, in any way cogent.

Firstly, Depression is a state of mind where one feels sad and despondent. It has nothing to do with the type of food intake. Lack of sufficient food intake would rather cause in a state of anemia or fatigue but it never into depression. If not, the poor people around the world who don’t meet basic food needs should suffer from depression. In such a case, psychic communities will prevail over poverty. But this is not seen or heard anywhere in the world. Hence, this assumption made by the scientist is not in any way coherent.

Moreover, renowned health communities around the world have classified fat related diet as ‘harmful’. Consumption of unnecessary fats, leads to variety of health problems like high cholesterol levels in blood, heart attack, overweight, etc. The unnecessary fat consumed is converted into body fat and the rest of it is used to saturate the oil and fat levels in the blood. To disprove health communities based on mere ideas will cause a radical change in the field of medicine.

Furthermore, to compare two developed communities like United States and Japan is quite illogical. To compare or to be compared, the entities should have similar characteristics and conditions. The characteristics and conditions of people living in the United States and Japan or Taiwan differ largely. To compare these two communities is like comparing two uncertainties. There is no valid information gained from this study.

Hence, by examining all these facts, the idea to ask the citizens of the United States to increase their consumption of fish in their food intake is illogical as its nutritional importance and value are not proved. Thus, this argument, in the present form is irrational.

asmit
07-16-2005, 08:20 AM
Hi!
Reasonably good essay!....Well managed as well...

charmy_mermaid
07-18-2005, 08:33 AM
:) hi kaushik,
i think u can also say that these studies are basically correlational in nature and hence do not suggest that increased intake of omega3 fatty acids reduces the risk of depression (i dont think u should say that depression has nothing to do with the kind of food intake coz it is possible).
moreover depression is a complex ailment and is influenced by many factors - genetic vulnerability, psychological stress, changes in the levels of neurotransmitters, etc. hence it is possible that some of these factors may have caused the low levels of depression rather than omega3. hence, our ancestors may have had a lower genetic risk or vulnerability to depression, or may have faced less stress,etc. also, it may be due to the fact that thay consumed less saturated fat that they had lower levels of depression.
with respect to the studies in Japan and Taiwan, the people there are likely to have better support systems, thus reducing their levels of stress and hence their risk for depression. also these studies have studied the consumption of fish, and it is possible that some other nutrients present in fish influence depression levels.
hence studies that study the cause-effect relation between omega3 fatty acids and the levels of depression need to be done. moreover to prevent depression, other factors and causes need to be controlled.
hope this helps...all the best! :tup: