View Full Version : and Only in India ...

05-18-2002, 08:58 AM
What is the most important animal in your country? Why is the animal
important? Use reasons and specific details to explain your answer.
(This is a Real TOEFL Topic!)

"He is the cow. The cow is a successful animal. Also he is four footed. And because he is female, he give milks, but will do so when he is got child. He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. Horses do not have any such attachment. What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally."

"His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species. Also his other motion (gobar) is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes like Pizza, in hand, and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating.... His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards."

"He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his body whereupon he gives hit with it....''



for the complete article "He is the same like God"
By Shashi Tharoor
"The Hindu", Online edition of India's National Newspaper
March 03, 2002


05-18-2002, 09:03 AM
and from the same article ...

Prof. Anders Henriksson, an American professor of history (at the not particularly well-known Shepherd College in West Virginia) has compiled a volume he has titled Non Campus Mentis, a collection of egregious errors taken word for word from term papers and exams conducted at American and Canadian colleges. His chronicle runs from such prehistorical periods as "the Stoned Age" to the more contemporary dramas of "the Berlin Mall". In his account, Julius Caesar is assassinated on "the Yikes of March" and bursts out while dying, "Me too, Brutus!"

In the student essays the good professor has trawled, there are knowing references to "Judyism" as a "monolithic" religion (whose adherents, in a contemporary computer-age error, worship the god "Yahoo"). Columbus' benefactors, Ferdinand and Isbaella, conquer not Grenada but "Granola" the name of an American breakfast cereal. Martin Luther King Jr. (the student even left out the surname "King", confusing the Black American Nobel winner with the 15th Century German Protestant reformer) makes a historic "If I Had a Hammer" speech (the title of a pop song King had, in reality, famously declared, "I Have a Dream"). Hitler is depicted as terrorising his enemies with his feared "Gespacho", a conflation of the Spanish soup, or gazpacho, with the dreaded Gestapo. Kennedy resolves the "Canadian Missile Crisis", not the Cuban. And so on.