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Thread: Please evaluate my analysis of argument essay

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    Please evaluate my analysis of argument essay

    Sponsored Ad:
    The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company:
    “When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore,
    the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such
    centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all
    employees.”
    Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.



    The author has stated that the closing of all the field office and conducting the operations centrally from one location will increase the over all profit of the company. he has based the Argument on some unsupported assumptions.

    First, the author mentioned that the Company's profit was more when when it is operated in a single location. The author failed to say if the profit is more on the basis proportion or on actual numbers.We need proper statistics to support this predicate. Also we Are not sure if there were any competitors for the company. If there was no competitor earlier and there are some competitors now then centralizing the operations to one location is not advicable.

    Secondly, the author has not Mentioned about the demand of the product produced by the Apogee company. If the demand of the product is more then closing down the field offices will not be a fair idea as the company has to meet with the growing demand. also in this case the company will require large man power to meet with the large demand. So the author has to provide evidence to support the assumption that the demand of the product is less.

    In order to strengthen the argument , the author has to provide some concrete evidence. for instance the author must provide statistical evidence for the profit of the company in Past years and the company's current profit level. The competition prevailing in the market for the product manufactured by the company. Also the author need to provide evidence that the demand for the product is not much for the company To have many field offices. Without these evidences the argument stands vague.

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    1 out of 1 members found this post helpful. Good post? Yes | No

    Evaluation of AWA essay

    I rated your essay using the free online tool at gmatawa[dot]com.
    You scored a 5.25 (or in actual GMAT terms a 5.0). You were great on almost all of the three parameters:
    1)Coherence
    2)Structure and para-formation
    3)Vocabulary and usage.
    Perhaps a bit of fine tuning is required on coherence and vocabulary. You can also rate your essay yourself at gmatawa[dot]com. A free online tool, no login no registration, all that is required is an attempt code, for trial you can use "a12345" or get one of your own, on the site.

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    thank you very much for your kind review.....

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