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The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods.

 

"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its twenty-fifth birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits."

 

 

 

Here goes one more.........analysis of argument.

This is my first attempt with Analysis of Argument. Pls. comment on this. I know its hard for you, to take time out. But pls. help me.

I will be waiting for your expert analysis.

 

Tell me where all i need to improve......

 

 

The writer concludes that the prices of Olympic Foods’ products will come down as a result of 25 yrs of experience. However, the conclusion relies on assumptions for which there are no clear evidences.

 

First, the writer assumes that the downturn in the prices of printing is solely because of experience, and hence efficient working. In fact the decrease in prices might be entirely due to different reasons. For example, a decrease in the cost of printing paper will decrease the overall cost. The argument would be strengthened if writer provides the evidence that market conditions were exactly same from 1970 to 1984 in the industry.

 

Second, the writer assumes that the conditions in the color film processing industry will be applicable to food industry. The writer does not mention the similarities between the two industries. The argument would be strengthened considerably if the author talks about the various functions and approaches that are similar in the two industries or gives

Examples from related industry.

 

In addition, writer states that experience leads to efficiency. Efficiency is a very broad term. No details are given as to how the efficiency increases. The efficiency could be because of better man or resource management or just lower inflation. A detailed analysis of the same would surely strengthen the argument.

 

Finally, no statistical figures are given showing the downturn in the past couple of years. The prices will surely not come down suddenly after completion of 25 yrs. The argument would strengthen if past trends were shown. Also, some information about the steps taken and the plan of action to bring down the prices should have been discussed. Only if the writer provides these evidences – does the argument hold.

 

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Arti Gupta

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Erin

 

Also tell me about the length of my essay. Should i make it longer, or its fine????

 

I am able to finish my essays in 20 min max. Tell me what all i should do to improve them.

I have submitted one Analysis of Argument and one Analysis of issue. I completed both in less than 20 min. So, i really have time to work on them.

 

pls. suggest

 

thanks

 

Arti Gupta

 

Edited by - arti on 2002 Jun 02 12:11:49

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Hello Arti/Erin,

 

I would be thankful if you could give some comments for my version of the topic.

 

The arguement concludes that long experience of Olympic Foods in processing food will reduce their costs and will maximize their profits. The argument basis such a conclusion on the premises that with time the organizations learn how to do things better and so they become more efficient. The arguer takes and an example of 'Color film processing' to prove his point. Such a conclusion is not convincing unless it is substantiated with a few evidences.

 

Firstly, the arguer generalizes his claim giving an example of 'Color film processing'. Some industries may not behave the same way as a 'Color film processing'. It is possible that 'Color film processing' had increased profits since there were no new developments in technique of color film processing. The argument can be sustantiated if similar trends are shown in 'Food Processing' industry.

 

Secondly, the arguer relates more efficiency with less cost of production. Efficiency may not be related to cost of processing at all. Infact better efficiency may be due to use of better (costly) resources and thus increasing the cost of production.

 

Finally, the arguer does not mention anything about the increasing competitions in an industry among various organizations. With time the competition increases and so, to make profit, organizations have to decrease the cost of processing. And in such a case long experience will not help Olympic Foods to maximize profits.

 

In conclusion, the argument can be strengthened if the conclusion is supported with the assumptions/evidences as stated above.

 

thanks

Monty

 

 

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Topic

 

The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods.

 

"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its twenty-fifth birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits."

 

 

 

The writer concludes that the prices of Olympic Foods’ products will come down as a result of 25 yrs

Don't use abbreviations!! This is one of the most common mistakes I see in all essays.
of experience. However, the conclusion relies on assumptions for which there are no clear evidences.
Nice intro.

 

First, the writer assumes that the downturn in the prices of printing is solely because of experience, and hence efficient working. In fact the decrease in prices might be entirely due to different reasons. For example, a decrease in the cost of printing paper will decrease the overall cost. The argument would be strengthened if the writer provides ==> provided the evidence that market conditions were exactly same from 1970 to 1984 in the industry.

Yes, good points. For this particular essay, I usually mention that reductions in cost in photo processing are due both to advances in technology and to the fact that photo processing works on such a larger economy of scale than it did some decades before that costs have necessarily decreased.

 

Second, the writer assumes that the conditions in the color film processing industry will be applicable to food industry. The writer does not mention the similarities between the two industries. The argument would be strengthened considerably if the author talks about the various functions and approaches that are similar in the two industries or gives

Examples from related industry.

Yes, this is similar to what I just mentioned before. Were it I writing the essay, I'd explain how photo processing is more related to technology than is food processing. Furthermore, advances in more technical fields are much easier in other fields. In other words, we've already reached a limit of sorts in such areas as agriculture, carpentry, construction, perhaps even teaching--after thousands of years of doing the same things the same ways, we can't really find better ways to do them. We essentially rely on the same reliable techniques we always have. This is not true in heavily technological areas, as I'm sure you're aware (you're here on the Internet talking with me, right???)

In addition, writer states that experience leads to efficiency. Efficiency is a very broad term.

I don't think this sentence is related to the rest of this paragraph.
No details are given as to how the efficiency increases. The efficiency could be because of better man or resource management or just lower inflation. A detailed analysis of the same
Avoid this term; it's jargon, slang, "legalistic."
would surely strengthen the argument.

 

Finally, no statistical figures are given showing the downturn

:question::question: What downturn??
in the past couple of years. The prices will surely not come down suddenly after completion of 25 yrs. The argument would strengthen if past trends were shown. Also, some information about the steps taken and the plan of action to bring down the prices should have been discussed. Only if the writer provides these evidences – does the argument hold.

First, you need a conclusion, even a simple one of two or three sentences. Second, this paragraph looks like you were trying to think of something else to say, but weren't sure. Finally, I'm not sure that this is the best thing you could say for this argument. You're essentially saying that you'd want more evidence, more proof to believe the argument, but that's going to be true for every topic, every suggestion, well, just about everything in life. I don't think GMAT is looking for that.

 

Okay, I know you want to know the score you'd get. I'd say that GMAT would probably give this about a 5.0 (the essay is pretty good). The length is just right, and you're lucky you could write it that fast--that's about the same time that I need to write a draft, and I'd spend another five minutes going through it to make sure it's okay.

 

One final note: You know that the schools don't care much about the essays, right? And that your essay score is separate from your total score (unlike how it's done on the TOEFL)? In other words, I think you'd be better off focusing your time and energy on the other parts of the test... just my two cents!!

 

 

Erin

 

Please post further questions here.

 

Please search this newsgroup for FAQs.

 

TestMagic.com

San Francisco, CA USA

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Hi Erin

 

Thanks a lot for the DETAILED feedback.

I will remember the points you have made.

 

But tell me, WHAT DOES THE ESSAY SCORE SIGNIFIES AND WHAT IS ITS PRACTICAL USAGE....if its not used to get the final score?

 

By the way, i wrote only 2 essay each for practice.

Now i am concentrating on RC.........which bogs me down.

 

Thanks a lot for the suggestions.

 

Arti Gupta

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  • 11 months later...

Hi All and Erin,

I thought I might share my essay on the same topic and get your feedback. Here goes:

 

The author's assumption is that as time goes by processes become efficient and so cost comes down and hence over X years, Olympic food's profits should increase since its process costs have come down.The argument holds good when viewed independently. However, the argument fails to take into consideration certain economic factors that may appear over time. Let us consider some of them.

 

Firstly, as time goes by the rate of inflation goes up. This implies greater cost for the same goods. Hence though operating costs are more or less fixed over time, the variable cost can narrow down the profit margin.

Secondly, let us consider the presence of competitors in the scenario. This would lead one to make an addition to complement one’s Unique Selling Point in order to keep oneself different. This would cause overheads to come into the picture, further adding to the cost. One might then argue that you can increase your profit margin to remain profitable. However, the presence of a competitor and governmental regulations will cap this “margin” as well.

Thirdly, let us consider the concept of demand and supply. We have strong statistics to prove that over time, that there has been a population growth. This would imply that there would be a constant demand for food. High demand implies an increase in prices. However, food is an essential commodity and so there would be a ceiling to the prices of food.

Lastly, the only way to increase profitability is to increase sales. To achieve this, one would have to expand one’s presence geographically within and across a state/country and increase one’s target audience. This would imply added overheads in terms of staff, real estate and associated overheads. This would in turn place a natural cap on one’s profit margin.

In conclusion, the statement made by Olympic foods does not hold well over a long period of time when inflation, competition and demand and supply are factored into the entire process. Aggressive sales and promotions, strategic expansion and capacity to serve a large audience would finally determine profitability. Hence, there is much more to profitability than merely reducing operating costs.

 

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  • 4 years later...

I raise disagreement with the annual report that has been presented to the stockholders by Olympic Foods. There has

been a generalization made that experience is the only factor in improvement in a business venture. There has been

unrelated parallelism drawn. Overall the report presented has got many loop holes.

 

In the business of fast food, the supply and demand of the raw materials bread, chicken, pork, beef, vegetables like

cauliflower, beans, tomato, etc. and various kinds of sauces play an important role. The supply of the raw materials

depend upon various factors that change from year to year. For example, in 2005 as Bird Flue inreased in the Asia

Pacific region, the poulty farmers had to slaughter a huge number of chicken contracted with this disease. As a

result, the supply of chicken decreased, increasing the cost of chicken.

 

The report makes a comparision between two unparallel businesses: the cinematographic accessories and the food

business. The decrease in the cost of the cinematographic accessories has depended on the advancement of science.

These accossories are all machine made and has not got the human factor in their production. The raw materials

required are not live. Even though there has been improvement of maintenance of the live raw materials that are

needed in food business, many natural factors like weather condition, farming and poultry processes come into the

factor that have a human touch, liable for mistakes.

 

Over the period of 25 years, the cook, the management, the people serving have all got changed. Even though the

company celebrates silver jubilee, the complete personnel involved in the process may not be as experienced as the

company. Nowadays, every company hires their employee on contract basis of 2 years. If such is the process followed

by Olympic Foods, the maximum age of the people working in the company may be only 2 years.

 

Olympic Foods must make sales comparisons with other like companies like the McDonald's and the KFC. To imporove

sales, the first thing to be done by the management is to conduct surveys to find out what is the taste of the

people in the region of the company stall. People of different regions have different tastes. The management must

recruit personnel who possess more customer oriented beaviour to make the customer feel warm and homely. Olympic

Foods must look into the weather in the next days and the availability of other raw materials and increase their

stock if needed.

 

Overall, the management of Olympic Foods must look into realistic things to improve their sales and thus business.

If they do not look into the proper things and meanderinto this and that, there is no guarantee of any gain in the

business. It will be better if anothe annual report is presented taking into factor the points mentioned in

paragraph five.

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  • 6 months later...
  • 7 months later...

The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods.

 

"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its twenty-fifth birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits."

 

The argument above states that over the time the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. I perfectly agree on this one because practice makes a man perfect and organizations doing the same work over a long period of time definitely better themselves and become more efficient. But the comparing the reduction in costs of color film processing to that of food processing is something I don’t agree upon.

The argument above assumes that nature of color film processing and food processing industry is the same but is fails to explain how the two industries are similar. However this is not true because color film processing is a technology based industry and food processing is an agro based industry. The parameters governing the two industries are considerably different.

The argument also assumes that the processing costs of color film processing came down solely due to efficiency but this may not me true because the reduction in costs can be attributed to a technological advancement that may have taken place.

The argument fails to identify that the inputs in color film processing have a steady supply but food processing industry may or may not have a steady supply. The economies of large scale production are applicable to the color film processing industry but the same cannot be completely applied in the food processing industry. I say this because as inflation goes up as time passes by prices of essential commodities such as food also go up and the above argument fails to explain how will the company manage the increased costs of food as there are no alternatives for the same.

As the argument leaves out several key issues, it is not persuasive. although with time efficiency does improve the argument fails to explain how it would do so in the food processing industry.

guys pls rate this essay and let me know of my mistakes.

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  • 1 year later...

I am so confused about AWA because I learned the following writing styles (which states the fallacies in the argument clearly) in another forum. Please point out if that is not american style.

 

 

In this argument, the author claims that long term experience enables them to minimize the costs and thus maximize the profits in food processing industry. The author uses the decreasing cost in color film processing industry in 24 years as an example to emphasize that an organization will be more efficient if they learn how to do things better. At the first glance, the author's argument seems to be somewhat appealing, but through examination reveals that the argument is problematic because of two fallacies made.

 

Firslty, the author made a gratuitous assumption that the long term experience guarantees the profits will be the greatest. However, there is no such evidence in the past to support author's argument. The author fails to account the other factors that may also affect the costs of the food. For example, salary of the labour, the raw foods price and the unpredictable expenditures. In common sense, these factors affecting the cost of food processing are variables. Therefore, this argument in the question should not be accepted except evidence is provided.

 

Secondly, the author has also committed the fallacy of false analogy. The argument rests on the assumption that food processing industry is analogous to film processing industry is unconvincing since the differences between these two industries outweigh similarities. For example, the food processing industry involves the problems of food contamination, transportation and packaging which are totally different from the problems faced by the film processing industry. As a result, the author cannot simply apply the trend of price in film processing industry in food processing industry.

 

In conclusion, author's argument is not persuasive as it stands. In order to strengthen author's argument, his should provide the company has learned how to do thing better which helped them to minimize costs and maximize profits. On the other hand, author can also uses other frozen food industry with similar company background as an example to illustrate his believe.

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  • 1 year later...

Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they

become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents

for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the

processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our

long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits

 

Please evaluate my essay:

The argument that Olympic Foods will be able to minimize costs as the costs of processing go down over time is not a

reasoned one. The argument assumes that a concept which is applicable for color film processing can also be applied for

food processing without any change. In fact, it assumes that the same principle is applicable for all the types of

organisation.

 

There could have been a possibility for the cost of raw materials used in color film processing to have been reduced

considerably thereby minimizing the overall cost of processing the color films. However, the same raw materials needn't be

necessarily used in food processing. Thus, the same principle would become inapplicable for food industry. For example,

the automobile industry revolutionised the manufacturing process of cars by switching to automation and robotics from

manual operations. They believed that this move could save more time, improve accuracy, increase productivity and thereby

mimize processing costs for the company. However, when steel, a raw material that is largely used to construct cars,

prices increased over time, the overall processing costs also increased. Therefore, its not necessary for a company to

minimize processing costs just by making a move towards efficent processing techniques.

 

The argument does not cite the fact that even the cost of labour tends to increase over time. It could be that the labor

wages of employees in food processing industry is higher than the labor wages of the employees in the color film

processing industry. Thus the overall costs needn't necessarily be reduced in food processing just like how it reduced in

color film processing.

 

Thus as the argument does not consider the variations in raw materials used by different processing industries and the

labor differences in the two industries, the argument does not strongly justify that the Olympic Foods will soon be able

minimize their costs and maximize their profits.

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