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Thread: Energy Conservation

  1. #1
    Trying to make mom and pop proud abhinav_govind's Avatar
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    Energy Conservation

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    Please rate this essay and provide me with your comments.

    “It is unrealistic to expect individual nations to make, independently, the sacrifices necessary to conserve energy. International leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential if we expect to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations.”
    Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.



    How often we come across news reports about the energy crisis the world is about to face. The reports declares that the natural energy resources which are present will not last long and it is not long before we are left with only a handful of those at our disposal. These reports project a glaring situation. This scarcity of natural resources will affect not only those nations which are already depleted of the resources but also to those who at present have ample amount left. This scarcity of energy resources will create a havoc which will be detrimental for the entire human race.

    In such a situation it is not pragmatic to expect only a handful of nations to take up the fight for the conservation of energy resources. It is true that at present many nations have ample amount of resources left that they can see no energy problem in near future. They probably will not appreciate the implications of the energy crisis. But they must understand that there frugality will pose a threat not only to other nations but also to them. In the current world energy scene, nations are dependant on other nations for their energy consumptions, for example many nations depend on the Middle East for their oil consumption. In such a situation if the nations providing the oil do not take steps to conserve their resources, it will not only affect their economy but also of those nations whose economies are dependant on them.

    There are many instances where the natural resources are destroyed and wasted. Take the case of Iraq's invasion of Kuwait. Iraq destroyed many of the Kuwait’s oil wells when it is forced to leave its occupation of Kuwait. Then there are examples of countries where there are no steps taken to conserve energy. The governments of these nations are taking no responsibility to make its people understand the importance of energy conservation where as their counterparts are making every possible effort to propagate the awareness of energy conservation.

    Every nation should take the responsibility to conserve natural resources. Natural resources are not the property of individual nations. When they will be lost it will be a loss for the whole humanity and not just a particular nation. There conservation should be a priority task of all countries irrespective of their current status and current awareness.
    Shine On You Crazy Diamonds

  2. #2
    Ican is important than IQ vaibhav.telang's Avatar
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    nice one abhinav....


    Though there were some mistakes....

    How often we come across news reports about the energy crisis the world is about to face. The reports declares that the natural energy resources which are present will not last long and it is not long before we are left with only a handful of those at our disposal. These reports project a glaring situation. This scarcity of natural resources will affect not only those nations which are already depleted of the resources but also to those who at present have ample amount left. This scarcity of energy resources will create a havoc which will be detrimental for the entire human race.

    In such a situation it is not pragmatic to expect only a handful of nations to take up the fight for the conservation of energy resources. It is true that at present many nations have ample amount of resources left that they can see no energy problem in near future. They probably will not appreciate the implications of the energy crisis. But they must understand that there frugality will pose a threat not only to other nations but also to them. In the current world energy scene, nations are dependant on other nations for their energy consumptions, for example many nations depend on the Middle East for their oil consumption. In such a situation, if the nations providing the oil do not take steps to conserve their resources, it will not only affect their economy but also of those nations whose economies are dependant on them.

    There are many instances where the natural resources are destroyed and wasted. Take the case of Iraq's invasion of Kuwait. Iraq destroyed many of the Kuwait’s oil wells when it is forced to leave its occupation of Kuwait. Then there are examples of countries where there are no steps taken to conserve energy. The governments of these nations are taking no responsibility to make its people understand the importance of energy conservation where as their counterparts are making every possible effort to propagate the awareness of energy conservation.

    Every nation should take the responsibility to conserve natural resources. Natural resources are not the property of individual nations. When they will be lost it will be a loss for the whole humanity and not just a particular nation. There conservation should be a priority task of all countries irrespective of their current status and current awareness.
    I CAN is important than IQ.

    VAIBHAV

  3. #3
    Eager!
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    Hi Abhinav,

    So you are going with the Governments on this one. Interesting one!


    My suggestion would be:

    If international leadership ought to do something, then all the countries, and I mean all, including the USA must join hands to solve this problem. USA is not part of the Kyoto protocol and if there are to be improvements then the world's most powerful nation has to do something from their side. The UNEP has to take up the initiative with all its members to act strongly in order to solve the problem.

    The example of Iraq and Kuwait is excellent and the conclusion seems to be decisive.

  4. #4
    Dare To Dream
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    Hi All,

    My comments are as follows to Abhinav's essay;

    "Please rate this essay and provide me with your comments.

    “It is unrealistic to expect individual nations to make, independently, the sacrifices necessary to conserve energy. International leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential if we expect to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations.”
    Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.



    How often we come across news reports about the energy crisis the world is about to face. The reports declares {declare} that the natural energy resources which are present will not last long and it is not long before we are left with only a handful of those at our disposal {I think this is a redundancy and should be left out}. These reports project a glaring situation. This scarcity of natural resources will affect not only those nations which are already depleted of the resources but also to those who at present have ample amount left {Consider revising sentence structure; eg "This scarcity of natural resources would affect not only those nations whose resources would have been depleted but also those nations who would still have ample resources." ie I think you are talking of something that is said to be going to occur rather than that has already accured.} This scarcity of energy resources will create a{delete} havoc which{and} will be detrimental for the entire human race.

    In such a situation it is not pragmatic to expect only a handful of nations to take up the fight for the conservation of energy resources{I think this sentence should move to the first paragraph because you are stating the point of view you are taking}. It is true that at present many nations have ample amount{s} of resources left that they can see no energy problem in near future. They probably will not appreciate the implications of the energy crisis. But {Find another conjunction; cannot start a sentence with but}they must understand that there frugality {I think you meant to say their frugality; this I think is an incorrect choice of word} will pose a threat not only to other nations but also to them{selves}. In the current world energy scene, nations are dependant on other nations for their energy consumptions, for example many nations depend on the Middle East for their oil consumption. In such a situation if the nations providing the oil do not take steps to conserve their resources, it will not only affect their economy but also of those nations whose economies are dependant on them.

    There are many instances where the{delete} natural resources are destroyed and wasted. Take the case of Iraq's invasion of Kuwait. Iraq destroyed many of the {remove} Kuwait’s oil wells when it is{was} forced to leave its occupation of Kuwait. Then there are examples of countries where there are no steps taken to conserve energy. The governments of these nations are taking no responsibility to make its{their} people understand the importance of energy conservation where as their counterparts are making every possible effort to propagate {incorrect word choice, I think} the awareness of energy conservation.

    Every nation should take the responsibility to conserve natural resources. Natural resources are not the property of individual nations. When they will be lost it will be a loss for the whole humanity and not just a particular nation. There{fore} conservation should be a priority task of all countries irrespective of their current status and current awareness.

    I think there will still be a lot of room to improve the structure of your sentences and grammar even after these comments. I am studying for GMAT and I did a revision for Sentence Correction before I came to AWA. I think if you do the same, it will help a lot in improving your writing.

    I cannot comment on the quality of reasoning and development of points as I am still learning the ropes myself. I understand that these two together with excellent organization and excellent writing skills will score you a perfect 6.

    Thanks.

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