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Thread: Evaluation of Issue Essay. Looking or feed back on the submitted essay :)

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    Evaluation of Issue Essay. Looking or feed back on the submitted essay :)

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    As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

    Now a days we are in fact living a world of technology. Every single minute we are using it. From our morning alarms till the last moment of the day. Gone are the days when the chirping sound of birds and rising sun make people to get up. Gone are the days when people deploy the length of shadows to ponder the time of the day. No doubt these techniques were the outcomes of human minds and we were compromising somehow on the accuracy. So by using the ability of human thinking we slowly evolved a technology which is more certain and reduced the risk of uncertainty.
    Some people also claim that we are much dependent on technology these days that even a tiny virus in software can make us handicapped. People don’t remember their contact list, every day meetings, and important events. Hence this over usage of technology deteriorates the thinking ability. At the same time we cannot deny that over reliance on technology has somewhat adversely affect our emotional side of thinking. Depending too much on technology; humans are acting like reboots.

    My question is who concoct that technology. Of course humans and his ability to think. This technology actually give a new way of thinking. Twenty years back we never thought of sending our mails electronically, video chats, conferencing etc. Similarly the advent of computational software has made every one’s life much easier. It saved not only time but also improve the accuracy of work. Employees can now focus more on the analysis of the output sheet rather than working merely on the numbers. We are having a continuous bombardment of information every minute and the advancement of technology augment the human’s thinking by supplementing it with in time accurate information.
    Conclusively, “technology”, the invention of human mind cannot hamper human ability of thinking. It has just change his direction of thinking. Human today is constantly thinking how he can make his life better by escalating the primitive inventions to another advance level.

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    Re: Evaluation of Issue Essay. Looking or feed back on the submitted essay :)

    Introductory paragraph is too short. Even though it addresses the task fairly well, it lacks elaboration of the idea.
    Development of the topic is fairly limited.

    Ideas were not connected properly and adequately.
    The language usage is not to-the-point and accurate, and limited range of lexical and structural resources utilized.

    Conclusive paragraph is missing.

    Poor response overall. TOEFL iBT Raw Score 2.0 out of 5.0. (IELTS score: 5.0 bands)

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