Erin Posted August 29, 2004 Share Posted August 29, 2004 (This message is posted in all the essay forums.) Let's keep it simple: Put the actual prompt in the title (or a good bit of it). Good: Governments should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development. Bad: Please help! OR Can anyone give me feedback on my essay? Before posting your essay, run it through a word processing program with a spell-checker and punctuation/grammar checker. Want somebody to comment on your essay? Then comment on another person's essay. Simple as that--give a little, get a little. The forum is a collaborative effort. Why? First, the spelling and punctuation problems. Literally thousands of essays have been posted on TestMagic, here in the Urch forums, and on the TOEFL Essay part of the website. I personally have read over 3,000 essays on TestMagic in the last few years. Word processors, such as Microsoft Word, can do a great job of finding spelling and punctuation errors, and they can do so very, very quickly, much faster than a human can. By copying and pasting your essay into a word processor before posting in the forums, you are doing three important things. First, you are helping yourself to learn--you will see your mistakes right away. Second, you are helping others help you--by correcting your own minor mistakes, other people can focus on the more important errors. Finally, you are being polite--it is simple common courtesy to do what you can before you ask others for help. Second, it is vital that everybody help out a little bit, especially if you're looking for help. We have many visitors here and collectively, they have an enormous wealth of information to share. But people need to share information and give a bit of help if they want to receive help. Yes, this is obvious, but it bears repeating nonetheless. I know a lot of people will say that they aren't good writers or that they don't know enough English to comment on the essays of others. That's a good point, and is valid to an extent, but I have three counterarguments. First, any constructive comment is better than none at all. Even a simple, I thought your essay was good, even though I couldn't understand everything is better than nothing. And receiving even a small comment often creates (in the original poster) that nice warm, fuzzy feeling that we all love. Second, and I don't mean this in an unkind way, if you honestly cannot comment on an essay, then you probably aren't ready to write one; in other words, if you can write an essay, you should be able to comment on one, plain and simple. Third, well... Um, it just slipped my mind while I was typing. Sorry, hope it'll come back. So, if you've made it this far, thanks so much for taking the time to read this. I hope it helps the essay forums a bit! For those of you who like to help out, feel free to tell people to read the sticky post at the top! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bsfer Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 this is a good essey, need not any comments. i think. haha.. I am sheerly agree with you opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traflee Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 hi Erin, Good suggestions!!!! U just mentioned U have being reading the TestMagic forum for past few years, "I personally have read over 3,000 essays on TestMagic in the last few years." May i know how come? Just curious man!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offlimitzzz Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 hmm .... yes guys do comment on others essay .I happen to read - - number of views=10 , comments=NULL ..not fair? how much time ..just 5 mins na guys so do comment . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali_ft Posted April 23, 2005 Share Posted April 23, 2005 nice effort Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolpaggy Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 Erin Sir that was another master stroke from you.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kunal227 Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 hi this is my first argument that i m posting to testmagic please rate it and suggest the improvements. The following appeared in the editorial section of a newsmagazine. "Some states are creating new laws that restrict the use of handheld cell phones by drivers of automobiles. Such legislation, however, is sheer folly. Although some people with cell phones undoubtedly cause problems on the road, including serious accidents, the majority do not. Besides, problems are also caused by drivers who are distracted by any number of other activities, from listening to the radio to disciplining children. Since there is no need to pass legislation restricting these and other such activities, it follows that there is no need to restrict people's freedom to use a device that they find convenient—or helpful in emergencies." Discussion: I think here the author has made a good amount of assumptions in taking a decision about an uninvestigated situation. There are some critical things that the author has overlooked in calling the legislations if any as completely unwanted. Now let us check those assumptions. First of all the author has assumed that many states are creating new laws to discourage the use of handheld cell phones but he has not supported this statement with any kind of substantial data for e.g. names of the states and kind of law imposed. If the so called laws really exist do they restrict the drivers completely from using the cell phones? Say, ‘if a person has driving license then he/she cannot have a cell phone.’ Thus without any statistical evidence the author has called formulation of laws as “sheer folly”. Secondly the author sounds very confident in saying that only a few people are causing problem while using the cell phones. Here again the missing thing is the statistics in form of say % of people using cell phones on road and causing problems and that too driving. It may be possible that pedestrians using the phones may be a large percentage of people not causing any accidents, whereas drivers are the ones who are making a real havoc by causing serious accidents. The author should mention data regarding this to support his confidence but has failed to do so. Finally the author tries to give some weak support to his argument by drawing attention to other activities like listening to radio, disciplining children, etc. distracting the drivers. But here we can question the author whether he has made any kind of investigation that no laws exist for the same and can he present any evidence on it? Also, has he made any comparative study about the potential of the so called other activities with using the cell phones in distracting the drivers? Also is he sure enough that these activities are done by the drivers only and no else sitting in the automobiles say other parent as far as disciplining the child is concerned? Regarding emergency the driver can park his automobile and use the cell phone. At the end I would say that the author has made a meager or no study on the situations arising on roads due use of cell phones by the people who are actually driving. He could have made his argument more strong by presenting some data for e.g. percentages regarding cell phones users classified into drivers and non-drivers on the road and the ones actually causing accidents, also data about the severity of laws imposed if any, etc. Thus looking at argument I did not find any strong point for considering the point stated by the author. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prasanna_gre Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Hi kunal, It looks to me like u are trying to over emphasise on data. Problems in the usage of handheld cell phone is obvious. U dont need statistics to prove that. Do u? At the same time we also the importance of time & cell phones as of today. We cannot afford not using a cellphone. So there are 2 solutions for this : Either dont pass the law, leave it as it was, Or modify the law as to use the cellphone only after taking the vehicle off-road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotCrazy Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Hi Erin~ I am so gonna following ur suggestion btw, ur avatar is cool : P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scorpios Posted July 27, 2005 Share Posted July 27, 2005 Hi Erin~ I will firmly follow your advice ,too:p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kunal227 Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 please rate this issue and argument for me and also give suggestions for corrections. ISSUE TOPIC: "In our time, specialists of all kinds are highly overrated. We need more generalists -- people who can provide broad perspectives." MY RESPONCE: In today's modern world we find a variety of specialists in nearly all fields-doctors, teachers,chefs,etc. They have their own special place in the society. They all play a very important role in the development of society. Previously, if a student completed graduation in a medical or dental field, he would be considered very intelligent. But now completing graduation is no big deal. The student has to do a specialization in a particular field of his choice. Job preferences are now given only to the post graduates. A person having an injury in his bones would obviously prefer to go to an orthopaedic surgeon rather than a general physician. A person would take his infant child suffering from cough to a pediatrician rather than a physician. In case of teachers too, specialization is very much required. A person employed to teach in the high school has to have a master's degree. Also, a restaurant which specializes in a particular dish is generally more preferred by the customers than a place where all kinds of dishes are available.e.g Pizza Hut has a monopoly in pizza in many countries. On the other side of the coin, generalists also have their own place. In a rural place where hardly any facilities are availabe, a specialized doctor would not be suitable. Instead a general phyisician would be preferrable. Also, teachers which can teach in all classes of the school would be suitable. A general restaurant would only be preferred if different members of a family have different taste and choice. Moreover, a manager or a director of a company has no specialized area to work in, instead, he looks over all the departments of the company with equal diligence. A manager will solve a probelm differently than a specialized person. The former will review from all aspects the solution of the problem while the latter may review it from a particular angle only. Thus a person having different skills can work out any problem in the company. Thus, specialists and generalists both have their own role in society and both should be given equal importance according to the location and conditions. The University of Claria is generally considered one of the best universities in the world because of its instructors' reputation, which is based primarily on the extensive research and publishing record of certain faculty members. In addition, several faculty members are internationally renowned as leaders in their fields. For example, many of the faculty from the English department are regularly invited to teach at universities in other countries. Furthermore, two recent graduates of the physics department have gone on to become candidates for the Nobel Prize in Physics. And 75 percent of the students are able to find employment after graduating. Therefore, because of the reputation of its faculty, the University of Claria should be the obvious choice for anyone seeking a quality education. MY RESPONSE: The author concludes that the University of Claria should be the first choice of a student seeking quality education. To support his statement, he has mentioned about its academic faculty. But there are many assumptions and flaws made by the author in the argument. The foremost flaw is that the author has not mentioned as to which subjects is the University of Claria famous for. It may be possible that the English and the Physics department may be the best for studying, but at the same time the Zoology department may not be as good as the former. Hence it may not be the obvious choice for a student who wants to do his majors in Zoology. Secondly, the reputation of all the instructors has been based on the works of only certain faculty members. It may be possible that some faculty members may not be as active or intelligent as their contemporaries. Due to the work and dedication of few persons, their credit cannot be given to the lazy persons. Thirdly, the graduate students who became candidates for the Nobel Prize in Physics may not have depended completely on their faculties. They may be in-born genius and worked hard by themselves without any sufficient guidance from their instructors. Thus a University's reputation cannot be judged only by its students' works. Furthermore, sufficient data has not been provided as to students graduating from which field get employment easily. They may be finding the jobs due to the demand of that particular field at that time. e.g. information technology. But as its demand decreases in the market, the graduates may automatically face employment problems. Thus, if the author had provided sufficient data about the works and records of all the faculty members & performance of all the departments of the University, the argument would have been more persuasive to rank the University of Claria at the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erin Posted November 10, 2005 Author Share Posted November 10, 2005 Since I don't want people to be confused about where to post their essays, I will close this thread for now. I'll also probably clean up the thread at some point by removing off-topic posts. :) As always, if you have any questions or concerns, I'm all ears in the feedback forum. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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