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Thread: please grade my ielts writing task 2

  1. #1
    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    please grade my ielts writing task 2

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    Nowadays in a modern society punishment are established in order to reduce crimes and bring everlasting security and justice in a society.Setting punishment for each type of crime is a debatable issue.People argue that punishment must be in regard to act, however another group of people believe that verdict must be implemented by taking consideration of circumstances and motivations. It can only be justified by analyzing the situation for crime before deducing the punishment.

    Circumstances for the crime is very important issue for a crime.For example,killing someone in self defense can't be compared with a lunatic killing for pleasure.However it must not be forgotten that a culprit may be exempted for his/her sin if he/she is able to prove the court that the incident took place as a act of self defense.Thus ,a court must be vigilant in giving its verdict after thoroughly examining the scene before deducing its final judgement.

    Secondly,motivation for committing a crime is a serious factor that impels one individual to be a criminal.For instance, a hungry person are forced to steal in a situation of drought and famine to satisfy his/her needs.On the other hand,it is not comparable to a person who mixes a stone in a raw food materials,purely to earn financial incentives.In addition, if an incident took place that didn't have any harmful effect,then it is not justifiable to categories it as a crime.Nevertheless ,it is very wise to analysis the crime before judgement.
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    On summary,it can be conceded that fixed punishment for each type of crime is not applicable to modern society,rather circumstances and motivations must be properly taken into account.Furthermore,it can be totally exemplified by crimes done in self defense and stealing during famine. On the contrary, it is also wise to understand the scenario of crime so that a culprit may not escape from wrong deeds.
    Last edited by Deoman; 03-06-2012 at 11:56 PM. Reason: it was not organised

  2. #2
    IELTS writing help site
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    You should get a 6.0 for this. the vocabulary is mostly good, but sometimes you make the wrong choice ( a verdict is reached, and on summary should be in summary). The main problem is the grammar is patchy. This makes the ideas a little difficult to follow without some guesswork.
    Regards,
    Mike
    ielts2u

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