Sponsored Ad:
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: correct my essay

  1. #1
    Trying to make mom and pop proud klara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    1
    Rep Power
    3


    Good post? Yes | No

    correct my essay

    Sponsored Ad:
    Hey, please take a look at my essay on world hunger. Also, how am I supposed to reference the sources I use? (I'll shared the way I did but not so quite sure this is how it should be done)

    There is a lot of discussion about the issue of whether GMOS are the answer to world hunger. My decision is that GMOs are not the answer to world hunger, many factors contribute to this situation good and bad. Higher population growth is expected to occur mostly in the underdeveloped world and the risk to human health by applying the herbicides, both for farmers and anyone who might breathe its airborne residue as well as pollen polluting neighboring organic crops and overall the end product of a GMOs cannot be assured that they are safe or hazard free. The promise of GMOs to feed the world fades very fast and causes an unrealistic take on how we can solve an issue that is much bigger than processing GMOs.

    Firstly, a man recently died from ingesting a GM tomato that had an altered gene, giving him an allergic reaction. When he ate it, he had a severe allergic reaction to the pesticide resulting in fatal death. Something as simple as a GM tomato could not be identified by the doctors and could not find out what was wrong with it to save the man in time. Furthermore, from this situation we see that GMOs not only are not safe but are also not reliable. (A GMO nut could be harmless yet a tomato could be deadly). These results from GMO organisms can only be tested throughout time and can result in fatalities. World hunger may be more present with GMO crops because of death and the unfairness of how safe they are to everyone around the world. Also with GMOs if something is wrong with a product they have to recollect all of the product wasting food, time and resources “more than 7000 tons of tomatoes will therefore be ceased across the country by ministry inspectors and public safety officials.” Experimenting with such a valuable item (food) cannot be played with too much. The altering of genes is hard to convert back wasting many organisms.
    Moreover, superweeds are are not ‘super’, they are weeds that have evolved to avoid a particular weed management strategy. They have evolved to withstand applications commonly used as herbicides. But GM crop farming allows farmers to use less pesticides/herbicides in the beginning. Overtime weeds and pests develop an immunity from certain chemicals used on crops. Because of GMOs, superweeds have developed and are becoming a large issue for farmers. So forth, farmers are a huge aspect in our economy and GM items, especially cotton has driven some to suicide. Bt cotton “contains a gene from a bacterium bacillus thuringiensis to ward of certain insects..these seeds initially cost more than local hybrid varieties, spurring local traders to sell packets contain a mix of Bt and conventional cotton at lower prices.” The artificial seeds and misinformation on how to use them caused crop and financial loss. The put a huge weight on farmers, he had already been under a “tight credit system that forced them to borrow from local lenders”. By spending time and money on coming up with GM products we have caused not only waste in food, but deaths that have been catering to food supply.

    References:

    1. Diehl, P. (2016) " Can Genetically Modified Food Feed the World?" The Balance. Retrieved from https://www.thebalance.com/can-genet...e-world-375634


    2. "GMO Essay." JetWriters. Retrieved from GMO Essay Sample | JetWriters


    3. Parrett, T. (2015) "GMO Scientists Could Save the World From Hunger, If We Let Them." Newsweek. Retrieved from GMO Scientists Could Save the World From Hunger, If We Let Them





  2. #2
    Eager!
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    79
    Rep Power
    7


    Good post? Yes | No

    Re: correct my essay

    The first problem is that there are no in-text references.
    Second, do not use an online essay as a source.
    f
    Quote Originally Posted by klara View Post
    Hey, please take a look at my essay on world hunger. Also, how am I supposed to reference the sources I use? (I'll shared the way I did but not so quite sure this is how it should be done)

    There is a lot of discussion about the issue of whether GMOS are the answer to world hunger. My decision is that GMOs are not the answer to world hunger, many factors contribute to this situation good and bad. Higher population growth is expected to occur mostly in the underdeveloped world and the risk to human health by applying the herbicides, both for farmers and anyone who might breathe its airborne residue as well as pollen polluting neighboring organic crops and overall the end product of a GMOs cannot be assured that they are safe or hazard free. The promise of GMOs to feed the world fades very fast and causes an unrealistic take on how we can solve an issue that is much bigger than processing GMOs.

    Firstly, a man recently died from ingesting a GM tomato that had an altered gene, giving him an allergic reaction. When he ate it, he had a severe allergic reaction to the pesticide resulting in fatal death. Something as simple as a GM tomato could not be identified by the doctors and could not find out what was wrong with it to save the man in time. Furthermore, from this situation we see that GMOs not only are not safe but are also not reliable. (A GMO nut could be harmless yet a tomato could be deadly). These results from GMO organisms can only be tested throughout time and can result in fatalities. World hunger may be more present with GMO crops because of death and the unfairness of how safe they are to everyone around the world. Also with GMOs if something is wrong with a product they have to recollect all of the product wasting food, time and resources “more than 7000 tons of tomatoes will therefore be ceased across the country by ministry inspectors and public safety officials.” Experimenting with such a valuable item (food) cannot be played with too much. The altering of genes is hard to convert back wasting many organisms.
    Moreover, superweeds are are not ‘super’, they are weeds that have evolved to avoid a particular weed management strategy. They have evolved to withstand applications commonly used as herbicides. But GM crop farming allows farmers to use less pesticides/herbicides in the beginning. Overtime weeds and pests develop an immunity from certain chemicals used on crops. Because of GMOs, superweeds have developed and are becoming a large issue for farmers. So forth, farmers are a huge aspect in our economy and GM items, especially cotton has driven some to suicide. Bt cotton “contains a gene from a bacterium bacillus thuringiensis to ward of certain insects..these seeds initially cost more than local hybrid varieties, spurring local traders to sell packets contain a mix of Bt and conventional cotton at lower prices.” The artificial seeds and misinformation on how to use them caused crop and financial loss. The put a huge weight on farmers, he had already been under a “tight credit system that forced them to borrow from local lenders”. By spending time and money on coming up with GM products we have caused not only waste in food, but deaths that have been catering to food supply.

    References:

    1. Diehl, P. (2016) " Can Genetically Modified Food Feed the World?" The Balance. Retrieved from https://www.thebalance.com/can-genet...e-world-375634
    2. "GMO Essay." JetWriters. Retrieved from GMO Essay Sample | JetWriters
    3. Parrett, T. (2015) "GMO Scientists Could Save the World From Hunger, If We Let Them." Newsweek. Retrieved from GMO Scientists Could Save the World From Hunger, If We Let Them



    i

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Help me correct this essay. Thank you.
    By Michael Owen in forum TOEFL Grammar
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-30-2012, 07:17 PM
  2. Plz, correct my essay
    By firasf in forum TWE
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-06-2006, 09:10 PM
  3. please correct my essay
    By charanya in forum TWE
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-23-2005, 05:38 PM
  4. please correct my essay
    By polygon in forum TWE
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-08-2004, 09:58 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •