Your points are very competitive.
As per TOEFL, i know some schools ask for 100+ but i don't have any idea regarding requirement of the speaking section.
Every program has it's own policy per GRE scores. Some are interested in all your score history while others are only in your best score. So check the descriptions of your dreaming program.
The following 2 articles may be helpful:
1. Hints to Find the Unique yourself
2. How to Write Personal Statement for College Admission #2: Do's and Don'ts
Jack
Nice writing, should score 5.5 or 6.
Just one penny, in the last paragraph, "in conclusion" should be followed by the real "conclusion", not something like "however".
I did have a 'template' as a reference when i practice TOEFL and GMAT essay questions. But I didn't 'copy' it when I was taking the tests. The template is right here:
Persuasive Essay Outline for AWA Issue Questions - Free-Essay-Topics & How-To
Please be careful when you use it.
Jack