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your essay is good , i made the following suggestions { try to give a research oriented intro i.e. refer to articles from a local news paper about the growth prospects in the town for such topics, that'll make for an ineteresting introduction}Nowadays, movie theaters have become part of most communities. They are the places for people to seek out entertainment, to spend time with family and friends, and to have good times. In my opinion, a new movie theater will be great for my neighborhood, even though some people migh t BE against the idea. One of the reasons I will like a new movie theater to be built is for the economy growth in my neighborhood. It will certainly increase the employment rate. The neighborhood I live is very small and people here have limited career choices, having a movie theater built would give them more career opportunities such as engineers, managers, ticket sellers, and many other jobs. In addition, other business will grow as well since people who have jobs are likely to spend money to buy food, cloths, furniture, or even help with charity. For instance, when my sister got a job after she graduated, she took the family to celebrate at a Mexican restaurant. She became generous as I had never seen before since she was usually tight with money. She even gave a waitress big tips! Second, I believe that most people in my neighborhood will be extremely excited about a new movie theater since it will be more convenient for them to seek out an entertainment in a small town. Especially for teenagers, not only was it safer for them, who will no longer have to go a long way to watch movies, but it will as well be relieves for most parents. Furthermore, it is easier for teenagers to ask permissions from their anxious parents when they want to go to a movie since their parents will be less worried knowing that their children will be near. {same as the scond point, its redundant} Conclusively, having a new movie theater built is absolutely a good idea for my neighborhood. It helps creating jobs, growing economy, and offers more safeties. It is also convenient for people in my hometown to go to the theater.{try to develop your conclusion, its too simple} i'm no expert but trying to help a fellow student, also try to practice brainstorming for ideas it will help you during the writing section of toefl exam.

i'm new to this forum, i have my exam in a week and struggling with the writing section,need an experts advice. vertical_horizon, vaya will you please analyze my essay and take the pain to give me feedback, your feedback is much appreciated [clap]. thank you i promise that will try to help others on this forum with their essay as well. topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion Personally I disagree with the statement that attending a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event for the following reasons First, location is very important factor for me, if I have to travel to a different state altogether I wouldn’t find it encouraging to attend the live concert .For example recently there was a Britney spears concert in London and I live in Coventry west midlands,uk. I chose to watch the concert on TV but my friend bill went to attend the live concert, bill was late to the concert and therefore couldn’t enjoy it really well ,also the temperatures were low ,so bill was down with common cold for next 4 days. While I really enjoyed watching the concert on tv in the warmth of my home. Second ,car parking is a big issue when you attend a live concert there is limited amount of car parking area sometimes and u have to face the music as a result. I usually drive my own car so finding a car-park will be a hassle for me at such events. Jane went to a concert with her friends ,since she couldn’t a car park as she was late for the concert, she parked her car in no park zone and didn’t notice the sign board as she was in a hurry to attend the concert, the end result was a fine of 100$ by the patrolling police. Third, these live concerts charge a lot of money per ticket, and a rocking performance is not always guaranteed as there are always uncertainties like a technical problem, drunken performer, or a show can be canceled at the last minute and this would leave you utterly disappointed. Instead I will watch it for free on television and save the money towards my future degree in fashion designing at the Paris institute of fashion technology in Paris. Moreover, event Management Company contributes a lot towards the success of the concert and this would result in ultimate satisfaction for the audience who attend the live show for example Cindy went to the Amy wine house concert. The ticket included food and drinks. Due to inefficient management by the organizer, the food wasn’t sufficient for all. Cindy fumed at this but could do nothing except for spending extra on the food as she was so hungry, so I would definitely avoid such a situation. In addition, hygiene matters the most for me when I go out with my family and friends. Whether it is a restaurant, park or for a holiday. At a live performance there will be very big crowd especially if its by a noted artist such as Jenifer Lopez, Britney spears etc , big crowd means lots of bacteria and the risk of contracting viral infections. Added to this if the concert is in open auditorium and the temperatures fall suddenly you’ll have to face the music and end up spending the next couple of days in the bed suffering with cold and fever. In conclusion, for the above explained reasons and details I would watch a concert on tv rather than attend the concert, as this would save my energy, health and money.