For example: Ask them in person. Then, after they cut you off, say: "Thank you! I am thinking of applying to X,Y, and Z. Are there any other programs you recommend adding? And, are there any programs that to which you would not feel comfortable giving me your enthusiastic endorsement. I will certainly understand if this is the case." (You can also send this via email later, if you're uncomfortable with such conversations in person).
Two things are particularly nice about this approach.
(1) It gives the hesitant writer a way out. I suspect sometimes professors agree instinctively to avoid awkwardness and then immediately realize that they have made a mistake. This gives them a chance to back out in a non-awkward fashion.
(2) It helps professors who would be willing to recommend you to "any program except the top X programs" write you the strongest letter possible. I imagine one challenge that writers run into is that they have applicants apply that they feel belong at X rank school but who apply to a number of programs better ranked than X and are then struggling to write a letter that is good enough to get the applicant into X but not so good as to over-place the applicant and make them look bad. If they know they are only recommending you to programs they think you would succeed at, they are less likely to say very positive things about you because there is no fear that they will be responsible for over-placing you.
I can't, of course, verify that professors think this way. But it's the way that I would think if I were a professor writing recommendations.
Also, Chateau, your letter writers cut you off because they clearly all planned to write that you can walk on water.