huy1996

I am a new member of Urch, my comment may contain some errors. I think it is a good essay, you have a considerable amount of sentence structures. There is something you should notice 1. I personally think you should begin each paragraph of the body with "Firstly" "Secondly" "Thirdly" or " In the first place " ... 2. Your conclusion somehow doesn't connect with the topic. 3. "greatest benefit" --> "greatest benefits" 4. "world health organization" --> "World Health Organization" 5. "less developed countries" --> "developing countries" 6. " less injuries" --> "fewer injuries" Hope my comment will help you. :)

My method of learning vocabulary : try to understand every words I come across in a text