Rapha92

Hey, I took the GRE in July and scored a 4,0 in Analytical Writing. Generally, I would say that my possession of the English language is very good if not excellent, as I have been studying in English for 2,5 years now and lived in Australia for half a year. As the master program I am aiming for requires an analytical writing score of at least 4,5, I am planning to do the GRE again on the 14th of January. I have been practicing throughout the last weeks but want to continue with an extensive preparation in the next two weeks. Does anyone want to cooperate in writing and reviewing essays? I am planning to write at least 4 essays a day and we could review each other's work. Please contact me via private message or a post below, but only if you have a realistic aim of a similar score and want to start straight away. Thanks in advance. Best

Well, first I would say that assertion in this case means "argument" or "claim". Secondly A and C are correct because of the following: -A: a robot has to understand its environment, which can be done in two approaches, one being stereoscopic vision, the other is SLAM. Since Stereoscopic vision requires 2 eyes, and SLAM only one, a robot with two eyes will use Stereoscopic vision, as otherwise the integration of a second eye would be unnecessary. - B is false, as cyclopses were not of small stature, as nothing about their stature is mentioned in the passage. - C: It is stated that, stereoscopic vision involves a lot of complicated computer processing. in the next sentence it says, that therefore the preferred method is SLAM. Thus it can be concluded, that SLAM is preferred over stereoscopic vision, because it is simpler.

I would grade your essay with a 2/6 as it shows heavy weaknesses in grammar and the use of language. This causes a lack of profound argumentation and makes your essay not only very hard to read, but also really difficult to understand the message, you want to communicate. Starting off with the introduction, I think you should clearer state your position and give an indication, of what the essay is all about. Your paragraphs are clearly separated into two main ideas, and you manage well to connect the to passages. Unfortunately there are only 2 paragraphs supporting your position, but I think you should better write 3, as this is recommended in all the guides. In the last paragraph you start to address points which are opposing your position or potential drawbacks of your position. This is very good, but try also to mention an argument, which you can oppose to those drawbacks. Concerning the conclusion, try to take a few more sentences to conclude the essay. Maybe mention the main arguments briefly and tell the reader, how this leads to your conclusion. Overall i think the main reason for my grading, is the lack of the use of suitable language and the weaknesses in grammar. I would advise you to improve this, as this enables you to clearer communicate your ideas and arguments and will lead to a noticeable increase in your grade. You can maybe try to read well graded essays of other students and investigate, how they use the language to state their arguments and write a convincing essay. I hope it helps and good luck studying!

I would grade your essay with a 3/6. In my opinion your introduction is very brief and not really introducing the topic. I always try to think back to my language classes at high-school, where we were taught that the introduction should create interest among the readers. Try to take a few more sentences for the introduction and by this slowly lead to the "problem statement", in the GRE case, your opinion. I also like to already refer to the subsequent paragraphs in the introduction, to give an outline of the essay or to give a summarizing argument for my opinion. So instead solely stating "Instead educators should teach and assess a student's grasp of, concepts, trends and ideas", I would add "As this evaluates the skills of a student and not solely the capability to learn facts by heart." I miss in your argumentation the clear statements, as I can not identify the message of any of your paragraphs. Try to write your paragraphs in a structure, that claim, argumentation, and examples can clearly be identified. This means also organizing your paragraphs and writing the sentences more concrete. What is the exact reason behind your opinion? I think it is not necessary, but definitely will grade your essay up, if you mention arguments, which could be opposed to your standpoint. But do not only mention them, also argue against them. Last but not least, I think you should focus more on grammar and the choice of language. Some words are not fitting into the context and the grammar is often not correct. I guess you are not a native speaker, and I am neither, but try to improve your vocabulary and grammar. Often it is better to do not choose the fanciest words, if you do not know when to use them, but rather stick to the vocabulary you are used to use. I found it very helpful to read well graded essays of other students, which can be found either here in the forum or on other websites. Especially try to analyze, how those writers use language to communicate their arguments and why their use of language is persuading. I hope it helps and good luck with studying!

I would grade your essay with a 1/6. Your introduction is very weak and just summarizing the statements of the argument in the task. As I picked it up from several guides, the introduction should quickly summarize the main points of the task, criticize the author's conclusion and furthermore state the purpose of your essay. In your argumentation, you provide alternative explanations for the observed occurrences of the study. As far as I am aware, this is not the purpose of the argument essay.You should rather analyze the current argumentation and realize, at which points more information is needed to provide evidence. In this case for example, I think it is remarkable, that the study was conducted solely among 18 monkeys. This small sample size can apparently lead to biases and therefore fallacies. An other example of obvious fallacies in the argumentation is the relation between humans and monkeys. Even monkeys and humans are very similar, given their bodies and behavior, the author does not provide any evidence, that research has found out, that the production of the hormone cortisol is equal for both species. These are just examples of missing evidence, which can be found in the task, for an convincing argumentation. Furthermore I think your essay should consist of an introduction, at least 3 paragraphs of argumentation, and a conclusion. You phrase your conclusion like " I would like to state...". In my opinion this writing style rather fits to the Issue-Essay, instead of the argument. You should rather propose, that further investigations are needed to provide evidence for the statements in this argument. Remember that your conclusion should conclude your preceding paragraphs and give the reader the main message of the essay. Last but not least, I want to raise your awareness towards grammar and spelling. I am also not a native and know, how difficult it is to write in a foreign language. I think your essay shows weaknesses in the use of language, especially in grammar and punctuation. Therefore I would advise you, to read as many well graded essays of other students and try to investigate, what makes their essays strong and persuading. You can also try to examine how those writers use the language to communicate their statements and arguments. To nearly every topic essays can be found either here in the forum or on other websites, just google the topics. I hope my feedback helps and good luck with your preparation!

here is an essay, which I wrote while practicing for the GRE Issue Analysis: A nation should require all of is students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. Write a response in which you discuss the extent, to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning fort he position you, take. In developing specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position. According to the examination of Pisa studies, the best general education can be found in the Scandinavian school system. One strength of the system applied in the Northern European states is the communication of a broad knowledge to the student from an early age on. This means that students are educated in a variety of subjects according to a national curriculum before they receive the opportunity to choose their specialization in college. Acquiring a certain basic knowledge by a taught national curriculum will be beneficial for the student during an entire life, might it be in his/her later profession or personal life. General knowledge is not only important for the future profession of the student; it is also essential during a college career. Connecting the knowledge taught during a specialization in college with a broad knowledge base acquired in pre-education can reveal a great advantage and benefit for the student's future learning. By giving the students the opportunity to create their own curriculum the schooling system looses the control over broad education. Lazy students might choose the easier subjects while students with weaknesses in a certain subject will avoid the classes in fear of bad grading. This leads to the lack of a variety of skills and knowledge and students will be focused on a certain field or subject but will miss the flexibility generated by a broad field of knowledge. The most significant advantage of a national curriculum is the comparability of academic records when evaluating students for college entry. As for example in Germany there has been for a long time a benefit for high school graduates from the southern states concerning their A-level grades in University applications. This was an approach to remove inequalities in schooling systems among the several states in Germany. Due to an increased unification of the schooling system among Germany this benefit system could be terminated some years ago. This example points out the increased difficulties, which are created by a curriculum, which differs among states in a nation. A unified curriculum provides not only advantages but also some drawbacks. Different individuals have different strengths and some students will develop them already very early. By introducing a nation curriculum there are fewer opportunities for students to focus on their strengths and abilities, as they have to follow the general curriculum. Furthermore if a student has to attend a class in which he/she has no interest they will probably not only perform bad but also start distracting their classmates. This requires then an increased ability of the teacher to communicate the knowledge and purpose of the subject to the students to even motivate students who lack the motivation for the subject. Overall it has to be mentioned that a nation wide unified curriculum is very important for the equal treatment and education of students in a country and that benefits outweigh the challenges. Thank you so much for your comments and feedback!

Hey, I am currently practicing for my GRE and wrote this Issue Essay today: Topic: Analysis of an Issue The desire of corporations to maximize profits creates conflict with the general welfare of the nation at large. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading. My essay: Nowadays it is commonly seen that companies get involved in corporate social responsibility and thereby spend resources and money on issues which benefit the entire society and not only the company itself. Taking the claim above and relating the statement to corporate social responsibility, might bring up the following question: Why do corporations spend money on corporate social responsibility when their primary goal is profit maximizing. To answer this question I would argue that being involved in corporate social responsibility programs positively influences the performance of the firm, as this was proven by research. This is the case, because the company improves its reputation and image but also a company, which engages in corporate social responsibility, has a better working climate and more motivated workers, due to the community receiving benefits from the firm's existence. This is an example of a firm maximizing its profits while contributing to the welfare of the nation. Unfortunately this is only a very modern approach and might be the ideal approach, but in many countries this is currently no taking place. Especially in developing countries it can be observed that companies operating in the country focus on cost cutting, cheap operation and profit maximization. By pursuing these goals they ignore their responsibility as a company to contribute to the welfare of society. Focusing on simple profit maximization the country's resources are often exploited, the workforce is not treated fair and especially environmental concerns are not considered. In many undeveloped countries companies in the production industry extract an incredible high pollution and are not held responsible for this. But it is not only taking place in developing countries, that a corporation is solely tracing its own goals. A well-known European low cost flight company is a good example for a European company that is explicitly maximizing its profit without considering the side effects of this. While mainly cutting labor costs, many personals and pilots are forced to accept constricting contracts and many workers are fearing to loose their job. But even if a company is only reaching for its goal of profit maximization there is still some contribution to societal welfare, which cannot be denied. Every company operating in a country is obliged to pay taxes and by maximizing profits also tax payments are increased. Furthermore a company, which issued shares at the stock market, contributes to societal welfare if it maximizes profit, as the share price is likely to increase, which benefits its investors, who might belong to the society. It can be discussed if these are direct benefits to the society but I would argue that this cannot be compared with corporate social responsibility. Unfortunately corporate social responsibility is currently mainly pursued by conglomerates but also often faked to create a beneficial image. But there are also many companies, which are reasonably involved in corporate social responsibility and contribute to the general welfare of a nation. Therefore I conclude that it is not necessary that the corporation's objective to maximize profits conflicts with the welfare of the entire nation, but unfortunately it is the case in many countries that companies exploit the resources of the countries they are operating in and do not fulfill their corporate social responsibility. I am looking forward to reading your comments and feel free to send me your essays so that I can comment on them. Thank you very much in advance- Cheers Raphael