Jump to content
Urch Forums

awhig

2nd Level
  • Posts

    2,392
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    8

awhig last won the day on January 18 2006

awhig had the most liked content!

About awhig

  • Birthday 03/03/1980

Converted

  • Occupation
    Student

Converted

  • My Tests
    No

awhig's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (1/14)

215

Reputation

  1. Score : 3.5 Comments: 1. Some mistakes pointed above in bold. 2. Second point is contradictory. 3. Tenses , singular/plural and spelling mistakes. 4. Check your work. 5. First point is valid.
  2. awhig

    Please Grade My Essay

    Score : 3.0 Comments: 1. Your method of starting the topic by defining a neighbor is very good. 2. Can see many important points but unfortunately your essay is too concise.Expand a little and dedicate different point to different para. 3. In first few lines, you directly jump to conclude that neighbor means generous. Slow a bit here. 4. At places your sentences are long.Long sentences may make your essay error prone. 5. Try to highlight points and then elaborate.This will help you think. As a summarization: Good neighbors exhibit following qualities: 1. Helpful and generous. 2. Non-interfering. ( Not poking in others' affairs) 3. Vigilant. ( Neighborhood watch area.....) 4. Informative.( Do not spread rumors...) 5. Decent outlook in life.
  3. awhig

    Please Grade My Essay

    Score : 2.5 - 3.0 Comments: 1. 1st sentence is ends improperly. Do not make it long. 2. Grammar needs care. 3. Essay is short but points are valid. 4. Expand your essay by examples.
  4. awhig

    Please rate my essay

    Score : 3.5 (On ideas only) Comments: 1. As said earlier , above, highlight a point and then start describing. For 1st para, it can be: "Multitasking is not always a blessing, as it may lead to faults or mistakes than what was never thought of.Multitasking many projects are harmful because it may bring following : a. Inconsistency, that may further lead to imperfection. b. Time consumption and hence energy wastage. Point b. can be illustrated by stating that turnaround time of a task may increase and hence decrease throughput.
  5. awhig

    Please rate my essay

    1st , 2nd , 3rd person means how are you writing a sentence. Example : If a sentence is " He or she should desist from doing this..." -- This is written from 2nd person's view that is you are pointing to a person and writing from his/her context. Same thing when written from third person's view . it will be written as "One should desist from doing this ..." ... NOTE here He/She vanish and that it becomes general...applicable to any human being irrespective of gender. Same thing when written from 1st person's view " You should desist from doing this ... OR " I should desist from doing this ..." .. Here "you" , "I" represent first person. When ever writing essay , try to stick to third person as it looks better ( my opinion) .. Anyway its your choice. Point is being coherent. As fas as words are concerned : " You wrote : Teachers provide education. This is not correct technically as here education is being termed as a commodity. Education is provided as a service by an institution or government.A teacher shares knowledge with students rather than providing them. I rated your another essay in the post started by PTS.
  6. awhig

    Please rate my essay

    Score : 3.5 - 4.0 1. Marks cut mainly due to above reasons.
  7. awhig

    Please rate my essay

    Comments: 1. Tenses, first ,2nd , 3rd person.....needs care. 2. Good points must come first. 3. Practice. 4. Highlight main points you feel strong about.Then expand them in separate paras. 5. Follow comments in bold.
  8. Comments: 1. Rewrite this essay. 2. Follow comments in red and bold. 3. Following can be helpful to you if you are running out of points: a. Lying is bad as it brings distrust , low confidence and escapist. b. Distrust : because it can break relationship. ( You can cite various examples : like marriage -- if spouse ditches you , you feel bad. c. Low Confidence : One does not feel confident enough to face realities of life. ( give examples .....).It may retard one's intellectual growth .... d. Escapist : One develops a sense of escapism by not taking responsibility( Give examples ....)
  9. You do not need special materials on writing part. For this just visit forum regularly. just take a look at other's work both past and present posts. If you really want to write good, first try to analyze others' works, critique them.
  10. Comments: 1. Your points are valid but need to present them a little better. 2. I find vagueness. For example: "My city is poor hence my friend must not move here as he will face difficulties." Agree but poor should be elaborated or some phrase would have been better like : My city is not well equipped to my friend's expectations.For example: Lack of facilities etc..... ...Then you can extend further to support your point.
  11. Score : 5.0 ( Did not check grammar. Only ideas and flow were scored) Comments : 1. personally, I agree with the topic.Lying is acceptable on special occasions.(Do not think that this prompted me to cut your marks). 2. Conclusion is strong and good. 3. Starting is good because of short sentences. 4. 2nd para 1st line is a little vague. "Many things "..... try to be direct. 5. 3rd para acceptable. 6. 4th para can be clubbed with para 3 for extension. 7. Flow is there.
  12. Score : 6.0 ( On the basis of points, flow and reasoning. not checked your grammar) Comments; 1. Perfect points. 2. No other comments , just perfect.
  13. I agree to zymetn02's comments. I cut marks mainly because : 1. No formatting. ( In this case ,I accept that it may be some posting error) 2. You could have brought different points in different paragraphs. See TOEFL not only tests your writing skills but also stresses on presentation. An examiner has to check many essays during a day and so if your presentation is good, it will give a glance to what you want to say. 4. My aim was not to discourage you but to warn you of such failures. 5. Variety is what should be stressed on.An examiner also wants to test your thinking ability and how can you connect things. 6. When you format and dedicate single para to a different point, it brings professionalism else it looks cliche. 7. TOEFL also tests your command over language use.i.e punctuation marks, proper use of words and correct adjectives. Had this been a GRE essay, these points would have been overlooked. 8. When i looked at your essay, I thought you wrote less.
  14. I would give you 4.0 . This is because of grammatical errors and not on ideas.
  15. Score : 3.0 Comments: 1. You are not direct in your first para.Stress on main point and then give example of your grandparents. 2. No word called "continually". 3. your sentences are vague.Example: Fix way of life.. Define it else reader will loose context.I know what you intend to say but still it looks uncomfortable. 4. Format your work. 5. try to write different points in different paragraphs.
×
×
  • Create New...