Judith

Ocean View’s economy amelioration is naturally tempting Hopewell, a nearby town, but affirming to proceed identically (i.e. building a new municipal golf course and a resort hotel) is not necessarily the best strategy for Hopewell. The author’s recommendation is an interesting alternative to look, however, further analysis is required before making any decisions. Firstly, the author assumes that the two-year economic boost in Open View is enough to the economy’s long term progression. Anything could happen in the following years as market fluctuations are rife, thus, possibly affecting the town. Besides, the apparent economic boost could have been prompted by more factors other than the new golf course and resort hotel, but, clearly, this possibility has not been explored by the author. He mentions the emerging new business as a consequence of the golf course and resort hotel which is not necessarily true. New businesses could have emerged parallel, making it a cause rather than a consequence. One can just not know which came first with the information hereby provided. Additionally, the author clearly believes that the tax revenues’ increase is solely due to the new golf course and resort hotel; just as in the case of new businesses, he ignores supplementary or alternative influencing factors such as the general national’s economy status, the impact of emerging businesses, and other strategies possibly implemented by Ocean View. Secondly, Ocean View and Hopewell do not necessarily share the same marketing profile, meaning that the location, population, environment, and other characteristics may differ. The author does not provide any comparative information. Hence, it is unreasonable to proceed equally without a thorough market study. If Hopewell’s population’s preferences are other than golf and resort hotels, it would be unwise to focus marketing strategies on golf and hotels. For example, if Hopewell’s residents are more passionate about movies and drama, a theatre will be a superior strategy. Learning from other communities’ actions can help to visualize strategies to improve one’s situation. The author has made a valuable and interesting point on an approach that can stimulate Hopewell’s economy. Nevertheless, an exhaustive study of Hopewell’s population and idiosyncrasy has to be conducted before arriving to conclusions. Hopewell has to be conscious of its individuality and, better yet, take advantage of it in order to provide original and best-fitted services to its community. Embracing its own individuality through innovative and unique services can, in fact, augment tourism, in a way that copying its nearby town’s strategy could not.

Hi there! I would suggest you continue to write and you will improve. Apparently, GRE graders expect longer essays; try to shoot for a 5-paragraph essay. I was not engaged by your essay, probably due to its organization.. you can deinifitely improve your examples. I liked some of the vocabulary, though! Good luck Jude

Hello! Just read your essay, rapidly. I advice to you read more to improve grammar (l noticed several sentences lacking comas, for example), and improve the overall flow of your essay; meaning how you organized it. However, I appreciated your vocabulary and the examples you provided! They kept me reading. Good luck! Jude