sammy1405

Hi, I took the test today. Within the 30-minute time limit, I was able to write very little. I did have many other ideas in my mind but the time was insufficient (and as a result, I could not compose a great essay). I would want someone to assign a grade/number to this essay (preferably on a scale of 0-6, inclusive) and provide tips on how to improve pace and get the right ideas. Thank you :) Prompt: A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. My essay:- While it may be reasonable to believe that a same national curriculum at school level is beneficial, it is not quite true. Considering the fact that there are students with relatively different backgrounds and levels of exposure, a generic curriculum may not prove useful. This is because the subjects which may be thought to be appropriate for an average student may not cater the needs of all students. Also, there may be students who are more interested in pursuing arts than say, science and learning the prescribed material may not help them in achieving their goals. In fact, their interest may be curbed due to the intrinsic pressure created by school teachers or parents who want them to focus on getting better grades. Students may succumb to the pressure and give up their goals, altogether. Not only that, having a rigid curriculum with stringent rules may make teaching less effective. Teachers would have to count each minute of their class and think how they are going to convey the topics within a few classes. They would have to teach what is there in the syllabus and may not be free to teach what is out of the syllabus. They will have to restrict what they are going to discuss with the students. Students will end up learning only what their teachers teach and learn only what they have to learn, without exploring their interests. A rigid curriculum as stated previously, may put students into a lot of pressure and may force them to get good grades, by hook or crook. This may hamper their creativity. For instance, schools in South Korea are performance-oriented: students work for more than sixteen hours and in addition to that, their parents send them to private tutors. Long hours of study coupled with pressure from students and parents makes them stressed out, as reports suggest. On the contrary, long hours of study has led them to score high on standardized international tests such as PISA. Good grades are necessary but we can imagine how this curriculum can rob them of their childhood. In conclusion, a national curriculum can be problematic to the extent that children may be made to study what they are least interested in and teachers may have to watch over their time to see what they are teaching.

Thank you so much cassidyjane :) I'll improve on the points you have stated.

Hello everyone, This is my first post here. I'm in need of a genuine feedback for the essay below. It will be great if you can assign a number to my essay as well (on a scale of 0-6). Thank you. (Note: I referred to several other websites while composing this essay. I wanted to get a clear idea on how to proceed, given a topic and task) Essay topic: In any field of endeavor, it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being strongly influenced by past achievements within that field. Task: Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. My essay:- Some of the greatest breakthroughs in history were greatly influenced by past achievements. While this may not always be the case, there are advancements in various fields which do not build on existing foundations, which clearly means significant contributions can be made without being influenced by past works in a field. Nicolaus Copernicus defied tradition and challenged the proponents of the geocentric theory with his groundbreaking heliocentric model. At that time, the geocentric theory, which was proposed by Ptolemy, was considered to be the ultimate dogma. By relying on exhaustive calculations and keen observation skills, Copernicus was able to refute the age-old belief that Earth was at the center. Even though the Copernican theory made sense, the church and the scientific community did not accept it for many centuries. With the formulation of Newton’s law of gravitation was the theory widely accepted among scientists. Similar to Copernicus’ breakthrough in science, James Pollock’s seminal works paved way for a new style of painting called ‘action painting’. Uninfluenced by the conventional portrait or landscape paintings, this style remains to be unique. His most famous works make use of a method called ‘drip painting’, which is a form of abstract art in which paint is dripped or poured on a canvas. His works were not very famous in early years but gained prominence later. Erik Satie, an eminent pianist, was also one such personality whose works were different from those of his predecessors. His work was a precursor to artistic movements such as ‘minimalism’ and ‘repetitive music’. Even though he was not as famous as his contemporaries, his unique musical genre was recognized much later after his death. Although the examples stated above represent original ideas that did not build on past achievements, there have been contributions which were influenced by earlier works. For example, the Crick-Watson’s DNA model was based on the X-ray diffraction photographs of DNA, captured by Rosalind Franklin. They were able to deduce that the structure of DNA had to be double-helix and not single stranded as they thought it to be. This discovery had won them the coveted Nobel prize. Another example would be the contribution of Steve Jobs to the design of Apple products with stylistic fonts. Even the famous composer and pianist Chopin was influenced by Mozart and J.S.Bach. The list can go on. In conclusion, past achievements may influence and lead to innovations in a particular field. But there are also radical scientists and artists (as seen in the examples above) who went against the cherished values of society to come up with newer ideas the world could not comprehend of. Hence the statement does not always hold true.