NGeo

Help me in evaluation and I ll evaluate yours as well. After all, by evaluating other essays and trying to find the flaws, it is a good practice that helps us write better essays. :proud: "The market for the luxury-goods industry is on the decline. Recent reports show that a higher unemployment rate, coupled with consumer fears, has decreased the amount of money the average household spends on both essential and nonessential items, but especially on nonessential items. Since luxury goods are, by nature, nonessential, this market will be the first to decrease in the present economic climate, and luxury retailers should refocus their attention to lower-priced markets." The argument that luxury-good industry is on a decline and that luxury retailers should refocus their attention to lower-priced markets is not logically coherent, since it ignores certain crucial assumptions. First, the argument that higher unemployment rate and consumers' fear has decreased the money spent by the average household, assumes that sample factors are not only representative but they also have a causal relationship with the market declination. There is a plethora of factors that should also be considered such as political stability, tax fluctuation in luxury goods, average wage oscillation etc that could cause the same effects. Furthermore, the author provides no real data on the percentage of unemployment rate increment. If the rate is high but the total number of unemployed people is still considered low by the international standards then it cannot be considered a valid argument. In addition, the introduction of "fear" is undefined since there is no justification of what the consumers might fear and can lead to numerous interpretations. Second, the argument, which also sounds like a completely another issue, relating with the definition and the nature of what a luxury-good is, is too abstract to be considered solid. For western civilization, most daily used goods are not considered as luxury goods. In contrast, in underdeveloped countries items like a microwave kitchen, smartphone or even a simple TV are truly considered luxury goods. The author should have set the reference context of this assumption or give a few examples of where a luxury-good refers to. Finally, the argument that correlates luxury-good market declination with the whole economic climate is a flawed analogy assumption. There is not any report of a total market percentage that the luxury-good market actually posses. For instance, the general economic climate could be flourishing while letting luxury-good market in decline. If the luxury-good market owned a large slice of the total market pie then it could be possible that there is a strong trend relationship, a case that we cannot arbitrary assume. This also negates the claim that luxury-good market would be the first to decrease in the present economic climate since there is no obvious correlation. To sum up, the argument is not completely sound. The evidence in support of the conclusion that luxury-goods industry is in decline and that luxury retailers should refocus their attention to lower-priced markets does little to prove that conclusion, since it does not address the assumptions already aforementioned. On top of that, the argument might have been strengthened by pointing out a country or region that the argument is based on, by introducing some concrete reference sources relating to an official market research on the specific industry which proves that unemployment rate and fear are the primary reasons for luxury-industry declination, that luxury-goods are specific items that correspond to a named country or region and a scientific report that bolsters luxury-good industry to be the major economic portion in that country or region.

Hello, I think you are in a wrong place. This forum's branch is about Analysis of an Issue and not Argument Issue. You could repost it in the right place or maybe wait for a moderator to move it.

Hello everyone! I am posting my essay just in case anyone could grade it and-or note any mistakes etc. Btw, english is not my native language. Here is the subject: “People most respect the powerful not when they exercise their power, but when they refrain from exercising it.” Write an essay in which you develop and support a position on the statement above. In writing your essay, you should consider both when the statement may be true and when it may be false. And here is my essay: There is an old Chinese saying that true wisdom lies not when someone knows when to exercise his power for good or evil but when he truly knows when to not act at all. That said, how can anyone determine the correlation of respect and the exercise of power? In the political context, as it is commonly correlated with power, it raises an obscure argument that exercised power inspires respect since its the only way to actually change the flow of things and of course history itself. On the contrary, others would support the notion that true respect comes from the ability to restrain power. After carefully weighting historical facts, it becomes clear that people mostly respect leaders who act and exercise their power. To begin with, the ability to show restrain can engender respect. A bright example that most people have heard of is the trial of Jesus in Pilate's court. Pilate, after carefully examining the facts that were presented he quoted "I wash my hands" implying that he was not in a position to clearly declare any sentence although historians have concluded that he was eager to favour Jesus. Nevertheless, as Jesus was later on sentenced to crucifixion, and since Pilate was the only man who could actually set him free, his stasis and his inability to exercise his power has was the primary reason for losing his respect among the Christian people. On the other hand, one solid example of exercised power relates to a politician named Margaret Thatcher. Also known as the "Iron Lady", she is the longest-serving British Prime minister of the 20th century. Thatcher became a noticeable politician due to her determination to apply really innovative political and economical initiatives that contributed in Britain's recovery during the 80s. It is clear that Thatcher would have not succeed if she was not resolute in exercising her power as a politician, a fact that justifies her great reputation and admiration by British people and a base argument that has granted her a title in the House of Lords. In addition, another luminary persona of the ancient Greek political scene is Pericles, a man with a profound influence on the Athenian society. Referred to as the "first citizen", Pericles has gained his reputation by exercising power to benefit the citizens of Athens. Credited for many positive deeds, like the promotion of arts and Parthenon's construction, his greatest achievement was to exercise his power and declare the Athenean democracy, an act that has changed history and set the foundations of the modern civilization as we know it. He is the brightest example of a man who has gained peoples' respect from wisely exercising his power. To sum up, after considering both sides of the issue, it is inevitably concluded that the exercise of power is mostly respected. The examples aforementioned, clearly show that if the entity in power chooses not to exercise power at all, it is that option itself that makes the entity lose respect. The exercise of power, has created personas that are still admired and respected. Hence, it is not the restraint of power that people most respect, it is the exercise of power that matters most. I can also offer my evaluation to anyone who can help me here :) Thanks in advance!