Naveen Mishra

thanks for such an elaborated analysis of the essay. I am trying hard to remove my consistent problem with the use of determiners. I still have around a month before the test, so hoping for the best. Grammarly is really helpful.

hey, good points: you have written around 500 words, so that is really extraordinary. There is clear flow in your essay, your examples have firm grip on the topic. There is no digression from the central idea. Few basic grammatical errors, but i suppose few are allowed and scorers will not grade down because of it. redundancy issues: pls take a look at my essay. http://www.www.urch.com/forums/gre-analysis-issue/157931-best-ideas-arise-passionate-interest-commonplace-things.html#post1005508

Passion has driven ordinary people to achieve extra-ordinary things. It is often the common things which are ubiquitous which when picked up by passionate people, they go out of their way to produces something entirely different and unique. All the great inventions were fueled by passionate hard workers, who thought things in a way that have never been thought before. Such people perform simple things in an artistic way to bring marvelous things of art, literature, start-ups and many more. All the great artists of the world like Picasso, Da Vinci derived their inspiration from common things. It was their sheer compassion which turned ordinary thoughts in to wonders. Story of 'The Last Supper' was widely known across Christian community, but it was passion of arts that propelled this common story to be painted in a way which stood away from rest. Poets like Ravindra Nath Tagore, who won noble laureate in literature, derived his ideas and inspiration from very common and simplistic things. In the contemporary world, with advent of new start-up culture, entrepreneurs are picking up common ideas to build a corporate empire and create a new lifestyle. Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook to connect to his peers over internet, it was a very basic idea and it arose from his campus to satisfy the needs of people to stay connected with other. Currently there are billions of users connected across globe. Founder of famous chain outlet KFC was a complete failure, he had failed several companies and posts. This guy was always passionate about chicken, he knew recipe to make delicious chicken, At the age more than 70, he started his outlet to sell chicken; currently, there are around thousands such outlets all over country. On the other hand, scientific breakthroughs in today’s era happens in sophisticated laboratories around the world not in commonplace things. Over more than 10000 scientists collaborated in Large Hadron Collider, one of most stupendous work, to decipher interrelation between general relativity and quantum mechanics. Like for cure of any deadly disease, it takes tremendous amount of time and collective effort to come out of any situation. To get a cure for Ebola and Zyka, collaborative efforts by scientific community could only extradite the work. Conclusively, no doubt such issues have to be tackled in different ways and solution of such imbroglios are not a thing of common place, such convoluted problems need meticulous effort by everyone; but still there are lot of things where simple ideas could bring a lot of change and these ideas originate from the minds of passionate people.

Thank yee. Those are few important points

I liked the flow in your essay and how convincingly you have elaborated through examples. Few basic errors that I’d like to point out are: In Second para, past participle of outcast is outcast, it’s not outcasted. In fourth para, one learns soft skills, that are In second last, student learns. Lambda has rightly pointed out about first paragraph. First paragraph should as such that after reading it, one should get a feeling about the whole essay. Few of your sentences are long and does not convey what you are trying to say, like This could be broken into simple sentences to be effective. you could also point out quintessential example of North Korea in this case. I guess last but one paragraphs should be one opposition of your views, and final para including conclusion and how the counter arguments does not hold true or immaterial. Plz provide you valuable comments on my essays http://www.www.urch.com/forums/gre-awa/157903-suggest-edits-rate-my-essay.html http://www.www.urch.com/forums/gre-analysis-issue/157907-give-take-rate-mine-ill-rate-yours.html

Claim: The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists. Reason: The surest indicator of a great nation is actually the welfare of all its people. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based Indicators of a great nation imbibe welfare of all without any discrimination on the basis of gender, race, and ethnicity. Ideology of nationalism begins with its people, where denizens sharing same territorial, geographical, ethnic, and cultural boundaries identify themselves with each other. The main, foremost, important part of a nation is it's people. No nation can be great if it neglects or flouts its obligation to common people. The idea of nationalism disseminated among people as they realized their rights being oppressed by monarchies, theocracies, dictatorships all over world. Here, only few among the affluent sections would be the main focus of territory. Nation resembles its citizens, and unless they are collectively uplifted, it cannot reach apotheosis. Several components, such as hunger index, infant mortality, health care, education, and security of minorities, would make a nation achieve greatness. These criteria, on which current progress is compared, can be achieved only and only if all the section of society is taken care of. It is a thing of past, where dictators and monarchs would enjoy extreme supremacy, and their achievements would make the whole empire great. Achievements of alexander the great and territorial extension of Ottoman Empire were thought to be indicator of great nation. Similarly, achievement of Hitler and Napoleon could not make their nation great, as a large chunk of their nation were living under poverty and being ill-treated. Their empire included reputed artists and scientists; they achieved great success and accolades, but these accolades and successes could not benefit common mass. In current world, several countries have wealthy and effluent upper class but their common people struggle to keep their basic needs satisfied. In Syria millions of people die of hunger, poverty, and due to lack of health care. At the same time, their scientists have developed weapon of mass destruction, bio-chemical weapons have been used. This surely does not qualify a nation to be great. North Korea has tested several nuclear missiles; this definitely suggests that their scientists are well qualified. How a nation with half of its population under poverty could afford to test nuclear bomb and show its supremacy, when common people suffer and millions live under poverty. Until and unless every section of society is given its true share, a sense of belonging, and security; no nation can be great.

Some people believe it is often necessary, even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public. Others believe that the public has a right to be fully informed. Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented. There is always an ambiguity over what information should be passed to the public and what should not. Information can be a very powerful tool; it has toppled government and enlightened people to achieve 'nirvana' on one hand, while it has caused harrowing use of weapons by terrorists. On one hand, information about nuclear energy caused great radiation disasters at Hiroshima and Nagasaki; on the other, it is being used as perennial source of energy. It always depends upon the keeper of information, how he/she wants to use it. Not all information can be passed on to the common people, as it may endanger national security and its integrity. Classified information related to military, security, and energy cannot be put out in public domain. If such information leaks in the hands of wrong people then it can jeopardize security and create havoc in public. At the same time, this privilege should not be exploited for benefit of the ruling elite or few affluent people. If such information is kept secret for the benefit of all, then only such clandestine information would serve its true purpose. However, people have rights to know about things, which they are directly related to. In democracy, political leaders are chosen by the people, and thus they have an obligation to justify their actions, mainly related to policies. Right to information keeps a check on sordid officials and public leaders. Recently in Brazil, its president, Dilma Rousseff, was impeached on the grounds of corrupt practices. In India, Right to Information bill was passed in 2005, which is considered as a big leap towards openness and fairness in government offices. Under this, all government organization can be asked questions pertaining to malicious practices, and perpetrators are brought to justice. Another important concern is people are paying taxes; it is taxpayer's money which is being spent on infrastructure, policies, facilities, and insurance. So, by this logic they have a say in whichever way their money is being used, and policies has to be made to be beneficial to common people. Open information about such issues keeps malpractices in check. In conclusion, not all information can be put out in open due to the concerned reason of safety and integrity of society; nevertheless common people should know about things that directly affect them. Thank you & Regards Naveen K Mishra