Dear PP
As Erin said, it's better for anyone to do something than nothing at all. Hi, it can apply to me as well! Before others contribute to help u correct and rate your essay, I hope I can give you my small hand with it as follows:
* In general, you essay does not make the topic sentence/thesis statement clear so that it's difficult to write the body paragraphs to develop or support the thesis statement.
* Grammar errors:
- 1st sentence:
+ What is "the argument" here?
+ There should not be the two comas in the sentence as the noun phrase "information... genuine" modifies nothing in this case and the preposition "irrespective of" can not stand after a coma as in this sentence.
+ Illogical in meaning: The information that is "truthful and genuine" can not bring "probable negative response", actually. I understand what you mean, but the way you express your thinking in this sentence makes readers confused. In this case, the "probable negative response" should be towards "the companies' services and products", not the truthful and genuine information given out.
I think we should rewrite this sentence as follows:
People conclude/argue that the information given out by companies in order to advertise their services or products should be truthful and genuine irrespective of the probable negative response of consumers towards the services or products.
- 2nd sentence:
+ The readers can not understand who does "the author" refer to.
+ There should not be "and" after "consumers", it means, we have to eliminate "and" in this sentence.
+ "media" should be in plural form.
- 3rd sentence: "some more factors" should be pointed out before you write/develop paragraphs according to these factors.
- 3rd paragraph: "such as" can not be used to give out examples, you can use some phrases such as "for example", "for instance".
- Last para: "spill" on its own means reveal, so "out" is not necessary here.
Last but not least, I think you should carefully consider the use of "a", "an", "the" before nouns and the single and plural forms of nouns as I realise you used these articles and forms so arbitrarily.
What I wrote is only my subjective opinion. I hope to take more ideas and contributions to PP's essay and to my correction and understanding as well.
Best regards
patvn