Fatima Mottaghi

Hi, I just had a quick overview and put my comments as per my knowledge: 1- your essay is too short, 292 words, as it is now, while it should be at least 600 words, to get a good score. 2- Upon the ETS best scores, as I found it, these flows is recommended for issue tasks: - Topic definition - Transition to Thesis - Thesis statement - Body 01 - Body 02 - Body 03 - It is better a concession point to be presented here. - Conclusion 2- You treat with your introduction and mentioning your side as an IELTS essay. but it should be more expanded here. with more details and a more clear view on it. here you should have a critical language and mention about the flaws of the statement and why you are not agree with or you are agree with. for example: " The recommendation presents a view that I would agree is successful most of the time, but one that I cannot fully support due to the bla bla bla" 3- I did not see the flows of the examples through the bodies, it is better to make some examples that flaws within the other paragraphs.

Issue task-01-Magoosh Although sound moral judgment is an important characteristic of an effective leader, it is not as important as a leader’s ability to maintain the respect of his or her peers. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. – Topic definition The statement represents a view that I am not fully agree about its main notions, moral judgment and maintaining the peers’ respect, to be considered as two opposite sides of one spectrum, but considering them as a “cause and effect” issue, would suggest a better logical impression. – Transition to thesis This blanket statement put the ability of a leader for making unbiased decisions in front of his or her ability to gain admiration form the peers while there is an interaction sense between both abilities and the two do not exclude each other. For instance, a hypothetical leader in a building company which force his group members to work hardly, out of their working hours, to complete a project sooner than the due time, just in order to show his abilities to the peers and gain their attention, actually will lose the insight of a moral judgment in the cost of receiving the peers’ respect, while the peers also, which witnessing his actions, would not respect him even though expressing their gratitude. Given the history of the leaderships, it is proved that at the end of the day people would deeply admire leaders which consider the human rights and ethical standards in his or her decisions. This is what, as I mentioned above, should be regarded as a “cause and effect “issue in which without having a moral judgment, gaining respects, in general terms, would rarely happen. In fact, this is the human nature that we all profoundly respect leaders and admire their effective personality according how much they make impassioned decisions in hard situations which benefit both their team members and the company. – Thesis As we will discuss below, the ability to gain the attention of other leaders through adjusting the unbiased decisions would lead to an effective and stable personality for a leader. This also means that the interaction of both ability is vital for a powerful leadership personality. – Body 01 To expand on this opinion, it is important for an effective leader to be careful about the second half of the statement and do not sacrifice the ethical issues in order to receive the respect of his or her peers. Take for instance, a company leader which fires a team member at the middle of a serious meeting held with other companies, just because that person did not prepare the presentation file for that companies, on time. This severe action not only cannot attract the other leaders admire but also will create a big question mark about the leader’s qualifications to deal with the issues in the hard circumstances. Now, assume that the leader deals with this unlucky accident with empathy and, despite of some other leader’s annoyance or the risk of losing the project, postpones the meeting for the another day and in person, warns that employee about his or her irresponsibility. Certainly, the other leaders will esteem this in control personality especially when they encounter a professional presentation work via their upcoming meeting. It is where I mention that the interplay of both abilities, means having a moral judgment to get the admire of his peers, will work powerfully for a leader to be regarded as an effective personality. – Body 02 In contrast to the statement, and while the interaction of both abilities is yet valid, having a moral judgment plays more important role in this story. In fact, there is a subtle difference between the efficacy of the two. That hypothetical leader which her moral judgment marked him out, will have a great chance to be respected by his peers as an effective character, even if he does not mind to get their admiration. But in contrast a boss which just try to attract the other peers’ respect, without considering the morality in his judgment, certainly, would not be seen as a powerful leader, but a social climber. Perhaps the better say for this statement would be to state, “Although sound moral judgment is an important characteristic of an effective leader, it is not as important as a leader’s ability to maintain the respect of his or her peers through proving them his or her ability in moral judgments.” – Body 03 This last example provides the most proof in how focusing on one side of this spectrum, the ability of making moral judgments, and reinforcing it, would affect the other side of the spectrum in a positive and short way, receiving the most praise of the peers without trying hard to reach it directly. Consider how the company and team members would benefit from an ethical leader which makes good decisions. This is while the leader himself/herself also benefits from the popularity gained in accordance to his or her moral judgments, among other peers and employees. Actually the most successful leaders, all over the history, were the ones who first established the moral compasses of their companies and groups and after that it was the respect which sought them in every corner not they searched for it. – Conclusion In conclusion, one may accept one of the two main notions expressed in this all-encompassing statement, but surely a successful leader would sustainably gain the other peers’ respect just through applying the moral compasses.

Hi, I just tried my best to put the comments as my knowledge allow me to do: 1- The length of your essay is better to be longer, maybe from 426 word which it is now, to 600 words, at least. 2- I like your range of vocabulary, they will work. 3- I wish to see your side and thesis more clearly than it is as: " The question is whether is it worth spending so much to see space as venue for future scientific discoveries rather than directing such funds towards humanitarian science projects?" you didn't refer directly to the statement but provide your side per your hypothetical situation. maybe as: " the statement represent a view which I am not fully agree/ or agree with for the reason of ta ta ta..." refer directly to flaws in the statement. 4- your introductory part is mostly discuss about the space exploration and nothing about the humanitarian issues... and I did not find a good transition to your thesis. 5- I like your examples but the flow of your examples is not provided properly. It is better to expand one example in more detail in the other body paragraphs. avoid providing several unrelated examples. It will confuse the readers.6- I did not sense a good critical language which put both side of the issue in front of each other. Also you can take advantage of a concession points to be explainedas a separate paragraph. Good luck,