Hi there,
I feel comfortable when I tell story as a cast of the story. Sometimes it hepls to avoid the gender and person errors. I am attaching an example of that. Would you guys please tell me that if it is the right way?
Typical style:
1. One day, a young boy waited at a bus stop to catch a bus.
2. When a bus arrived, he got onto the bus and reached into his pockets to take out his bus fare.
3. However, he discovered at that time he didn't have any money.
4. The boy hesitated. He was confused and didn't know what to do.
5. The bus driver said to him, "If you don't have any money, please step off the bus."
6. The boy got off the bus and stood at the bus stop feeling both embarrassed and stupid.
Proposed style:
1. One day, I waited at a bus stop to catch a bus.
2. When a bus arrived, I got onto the bus and reached into my pockets to take out my bus fare.
3. However, I discovered at that time I didn't have any money.
4. I hesitated. I was confused and didn't know what to do.
5. The bus driver said to me, "If you don't have any money, please step off the bus."
6. I got off the bus and stood at the bus stop feeling both embarrassed and stupid.
I appreciate your comments and suggestions.
Shazzad