Benjaminzhang

To:ifedayo Thank you! I will think about it.:hmm: Ben

To:ifedayo, Thank you! I think, generally, there are two types of topics in TOEFL essay-writing. One is asking whether you support or oppose a statement, for example, topic#5, do you sopport or oppose a factory built near you community.In this type of essay,you should use strong reasons to convince other people to accept your proposal or ideas. While in other topics,like this essay, it is not an argument. You just want to make other people understand you choice.In this type of essay, if you can mention you also understand other people's preference, I think it is fine. Anyway, I thank you for reading my essay and making the comments!:) Ben

Overall, your article is good.Your points are clear and you use some compound sentences which demonstrate facility in the use of language. However, in my opinion, this essay could be more relative or more specific. That is , topic like this is a personal preference, it is hard to say which is better, eating out or at home. But, you can make your choice according to YOUR PERSONALITY,EXPERIENCE OR SITUATION. For example, I'm a student who is very busy, not good at cooking and espicially enjoy the romantic atmosphere of restaurants. In addition, for balance purpose,the last paragraph should be a little bit longer.Generally, you can summarise your ideas and re-emphasize you statement. So, your article is fine, but it could be more reasonable and beautiful. I think you can do it.

The structure, points, words and facility in using language are quite good in you essay. I could hardly find any errors in you essay. In general, your essay is quite good! However,for a TOEFL essay,in my opinion, it is a bit too long. Of course, if you could write essay the same as this one in actual test, you'll probably get 6.0. My suggestion is, practice writing the essay as the same length as you would write in real TOEFL test.Then you would make the best of time in your actual test and get a higher mark. Good luck!

Hi, Ish You changed your image? it's so cool.:rolleyes: I don't think you are a lady.Frankly, I like the former image more. But, don't worry about it, maybe I will like this one!:) Oh, I've got it! Writing essay can be so amazing!:D

Thank you, Ish, for proofreading my essay! Like I mentioned above, learning alone would be boring and discouraged. Writing essay is the same. However, now, it becomes an interesting journey, because, here in this forum, I can learn and gain encouragement from a lot of friends, especially you! Thanks again! I will keep on writing.

Hi, friends, could you give me some suggestions on the following essay?[clap] Thank you! :) Topic:Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Basically, there are two types of learning activities, study alone and study with a group of people. It is hard to say which activity is better than another, because each has its own advantages and disadvantages. Personally, I prefer to study with several of my classmates for the following reasons. First of all, in a study group, we can learn from each other. Study method is very important, because it determine whether we can learn effectively or not. Studying with others, we can share our experience in how to learn a specific subject efficiently. Besides, we can discuss with each other on a certain topic. From different perspectives each one presents towards a certain problem, we can learn more deeply and thoroughly. Gradually, we can develop an important skill that is viewing things more objectively, which would benefit us for the rest of our lives. . Secondly, we can encourage each other in a study group. Learning is a long and arduous journey. Sometimes, we feel boring or discouraged. In a learning group, we have a common goal that is to achieve academic success. Therefore, we would motivate each other, especially, when we lose confidence due to failure in a course or an exam. Last but not least, by study with other people, learning becomes an interesting process. In a group, by discussing a certain topic deeply, we would feel that our wisdom is enlightened. And sometimes, when we are heatedly debating about a certain issue, we would feel very excited and full of fun. Moreover, we would feel very happy when someone in the group shares the same opinion with us. Of course, study alone has its advantages, too. Such as, one can flexibly arrange his time or the environment is quieter which is more suitable for individual thinking. To sum up, I should say that learning is a kind of personal activity, and which pattern of learning activity is more suitable for us depends on our personality and experience. For me, studying with a group, we can learn from other people, we can gain encouragement from other people and we won’t feel boring in learning. That is why I prefer to study with a group of people.

To:bibicall Don't feel frustrated. The structure of your essay is fine.According to my experiece in TOEFL, the rater would probably give you 4.0 to this essay. In my opinion,what you should improve in this essay are: 1,Try to avoid repeating topic statement in your first paragraph. 2,Think of as many points as possible to support your stand. 3, Use different words to explain the same meaning. All things are difficult before they are easy!So, my suggestion is that, read more and write more.I'm sure you will get better! Ben

To:ish I was amazed to notice that I can get feedback from you so quickly! Your words are always very inspiring to me! Thank you!!! O,sorry I almost forgot to ask you, what do you mean "bingo" in "you should respond rapidly.[bingo]If you think carefully..." Ben

Hi, everyone, this essay is a little bit longer, I hope you can read through beginning to the end. And, if you have some ideas, don't hesitate to let me know![clap] Thank you! 0120 Decisions can be made quickly, or they can be made after careful thought. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The decisions that people make quickly are always wrong. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. We often have to make decisions upon something in life. Those things could be important matters or trivial ones. The important things can also be classified into two categories. Some allow us to spend time thinking carefully before we reach decisions and others are so urgent that we must decide without hesitation. After analyzing decision-making in different situations, I disagree with the statement that quick decisions are always wrong. To begin with, some matters are so slight that spending time in making decision is not necessary. For example, when you go to a supermarket to buy some foods, it is a waste of time if you spend a lot of time in comparing and selecting foods. In this situation, quick decision is always better. If we have to face some important things, such as choosing a school or moving to a place, usually, we should take many factors into account before come to a conclusion. In this situation, the decisions based on deliberation have more chances to be correct than those made without careful thinking. However, that does not mean quick decision is always wrong. The truth is making decision without careful consideration increases likelihood of making wrong decisions. In other words, quick decision can be right sometimes. For example, acting on instinct, you may select a school which is actually very fit to you. Therefore, the decision made quickly may be correct at times. In another situation, we must make urgent decisions and the chance of making the right decision depends on our knowledge and experience. In the security market, for instance, the price of stocks is changing rapidly. If we hesitate over making an investment, we would loose many opportunities. Let us take another example, if you face some dangerous situations when driving a car, you should respond rapidly. If you think carefully and then make a judgment, maybe an accident will happen. For this reason, in a pressing status, we need to make decision immediately, and whether the decision is right or wrong depends on our experience and skills rather than on careful thinking. From what I have discussed above, you can see that, in many situations whether a decision is right or wrong does not depend on whether we think carefully or not. On small matters, it is unworthy to spend time thinking over to come to a decision. While in urgent states, we must make quick decision using our knowledge and skills. Only when in some important situations, and we have enough time, we should consider carefully before reach a decision. Therefore, those who draw the statement that quick decisions are always incorrect are arbitrarily wrong.

If I receive some money, it would be difficult to decide how to spend it wisely. However, given a choice of buying a car or going to a vacation, I would choose the former. The reasons are as follows. First of all, owning a car brings me great convenience in life. I can go anyway I want more easily. Shopping becomes a really pleasure to me, as I no longer have to carry heavy bags staggering home. Besides, with having a car, I needn't worry about bad weather. Whether it is snowing, raining, hot or cold, all of them cannot prevent me from going out if I want. Furthermore, driving a car would save me a lot of time. In this fast-paced society, time is money. I usually spend more than two hours everyday commuting between home and the office via public transportation. But if I drive a car to work, it just takes me one hour on the road. In this way, I would have more time to spend in studying, relaxing or sleeping. On the other hand, spending a vacation has some advantages, too. I can go to a tropical island, lying on a beach under the sunshine, staying in a luxury hotel and enjoying delicious seafood. Or, I can travel abroad, experiencing different culture and meeting interesting people. Coming back from the vacation, I would feel refreshed and energetic. Comparing having a car with going a vacation, the car offers me a lot of convenience and saves me time, while the vacation gives me relaxation and enjoyment. More importantly, I would be able to enjoy the car everyday, whereas I could have the pleasure of the vacation only for several days. That is why I would choose to purchase a car rather than go to a vacation.

Nice job in TOEFL, Congrats!:tup: Wish you good luck in essay mark!

To:awing, ish, arjensteve and other friends. I have read your suggestions on my essay"dance plays an important role in a culture". Very nice, thank you!:) Here is my another attempt.Again, I welcome your comment, no matter longer or shorter.Thank you for your time! 0048 People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer. There is no doubt that everyone must work in order to make a living. Therefore, earning money is an important reason for people to work. However, making money is not the only reason that people need to work. Through working, people can enrich their lives, pursuit their interests and win respect from others. First, working makes a person’s life substantial. If one comes into a fortune, which is enough to spend for the rest of his life, he still wants to work, otherwise he would feel very boring. Working is a social activity, because when people work they can communicate with others and they can keep up with the change of the society. If one does not go to work, not only his life is dull in deed, but he will be neglected by the society. Secondly, for some fortunate people, they can satisfy themselves through working. For these people, their work and pleasure are one and they can deeply be absorbed in working. Nothing can be more satisfying when they create something new, even though some of them have to live in great poverty through their entire lives. A good example is Beethoven who led an impoverished life but devoted all his life to music. Last but not least, some people can gain esteem from others through working. For example, politicians and teachers will be gratified if they win public or students respect. They could earn more money if they were in a career in the private sectors than in government or in school. I admit that money is the first consideration when many people choose a job, because it keeps us sustenance and brings us material comfort. But there are still many other reasons for people to work, such as substantiating life, exploring interest, gaining respect. In my opinion, these can be more satisfying in a job than earning money.

Wow!!! That's wonderful essay! How you could improve your writing skill in such short period of time is amazing to me!

You demonstrate some facility in writing English, but you should bear in mind the most important in TOEFL essay is what to write and then how to write. Good luck in your test!

The main problem in your essay is that, you should arrange an essay in at least three paragraphs which are the introduction, the body and the conclusion. Typically, a TOEFL essay has 5~6 paragraphs.

To:ish I'm very grateful to you for your valuable suggestion!

To:ish and other ardent friends in this forum Thank you for your constant support! I should say that writing articles is the most difficult journey in learning a foreign language. But it is very rewarding, especially I can meet so many friends in this forum! You spend time to read my essays, making valuable suggestions, or just viewing my essays. I feel warm in my heart. I may give up in writing essay, if it were not for the support I get from the magic Internet, from the magic TM, and most importantly, from the magic people in this forum. I believe God helps those who help themselves and others! Good luck, everyone! The following topic is really difficult to me. I try to finish it, though for a very long time. I think it should take time, as long as we"Never give up" . 0094 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Dancing plays an important role in a culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Even since the beginning of man's history, dancing has become an important part of people's lives. With the development of human history, dance also has evolved in terms of its meaning and forms. Moreover, in different parts of the world, people have different ways of dancing. I agree that dance plays a very important role in a culture. In man's early history, people performed dance in some ceremonial occasions. For example, they danced during harvest festivals to thank for the giving of the nature. In some regions, people danced near the rivers as a ritual to pray the god to avoid cataclysms. In some ancient American Indian tribes, people danced when the members of tribes died as a means to communicate with the deads. From these examples, we see that in the early days, dancing was performed as a vehicle to connect people with the unknown mystery world. In modern history, people dance as a means to express their emotion. Young people like to go to disco halls to release their energy. Older people prefer to go to decent dancing balls as social activities. Professional dancers present choreography as a beautiful and graceful art. The modern dance has become more personal or more artistic. Also, different nations have different forms of dance and the dancing reflects the character of the nation. For instance, Samba is a very popular dancing in Brazil. From the unrestricted and enthusiastic demonstration of Samba, we know that Brazilian people are emotional and open. While in oriental countries, dancing is more conservative. Take a kind of traditional Japanese dance-Kabuki for example, the action of actresses is very fine and soft. From this dance, we can know that the virtue of tenderness and obedience of women is still valued in Japanese culture. Therefore, dancing is an indication of the characteristic of a culture. From what I have discussed above, we can see that dancing changes as human history evolves and it also represents the feature of different cultures. Therefore, I believe dancing is an indispensable part of a culture.

To:ish and acar, Thank you! Your words are very encouraging !Your suggestions are very helpful! I will try my best to write more and better essays! Thanks again for both of you!

Hi, everyone, can you rate or give your opinions on this essay?[clap] Thank you in advance! 0150 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Watching television is bad for children. Use specific details and examples to support your answer. There is no doubt that television has both advantages and disadvantages. However, for kids, although they can learn something if they watch news and educational programs, the disadvantages of watching television are far more than advantages. Therefore, I believe it would be better for children if they do not watch TV. One reason is that, watching television would affect their studies. It is undoubtedly true that students should take their studies seriously. Although, watching television for short period of time everyday would not influence their studies, children usually spend a lot of time watch TV because of their lack of self-discipline. Besides, children can don't distinguish which one is their priority. Their only criterion is which one is more interesting to them. So when they are doing homework, they may be occupied by some interesting TV program. For this reason, they can not focus on their studies if they are permitted to watching TV. Another reason is that, children will be influenced by what they see on TV. Due to their lack of real experience they may be unable to tell fact from fiction and may try to imitate acts that they see from television. There have been many cases of teenagers who ended up committing a crime due to influence from violent programs on TV. Finally, watching TV without other activities may harm their health. Studies have shown that most students get nearsighted due to watching TV for long period of time without break. Also, television can be like a sedative. Watching a great deal of TV also would make children more passive. As a result, they may lose interest in participating in outdoor activities, such as sports. Overall, it seems apparent that watching television for children leads to many serious problems. Therefore, my opinion is that students should concentrate on their studies and do something more active in their spare time rather than spend a lot of time watching TV program.

Hello, friends, can you make some commentary or give suggestions to this essay? [clap] Thank you! 0058 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Businesses should do anything they can to make a profit. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. Although the main priority of businesses is to make a profit, it doesn't mean that they can do all they want to do to achieve this goal. In my opinion, an enterprise, as a member of society, should consider the benefits of customers, society, and environment when it is working for its success. First of all, companies should value their customers. There is no doubt that losing customers will lead to the failure of their business. However, not all businesses always esteem their customers. Some enterprises in food industry cheat their clients by selling overdue food or put harmful additive in the food to keep it fresh. By doing so, it seems that these companies can reduce their cost in the short term, but I believe they will lose market in the long run. Second, business should repay society when they are successful. Making profits is very important for a business, but I think if a business who is only concerned how to make money without paying attention to society is like a man without soul. After all, the profits that a business has earned stem from the society. Therefore, they should take responsibility for solving social problems, such as fighting diseases, eliminating poverty, or improving education. Last but not least, enterprises must protect environment in doing business. Due to human activity, our living environment is deteriorating gradually. Deforestation and global warming has been causing a lot of problems. Forest industries should replenish trees when they are cutting down woods and factories should treat waste properly before it can be discarded into the environment. For all of the above reasons, I strongly oppose the opinion that business can do anything they want to make a profit. I advocate that enterprises should always bear in mind for the good of customers, society and environment. In this way, they will not only achieve success in the long-term, but also win respect from society.

To:ish Thank you for your suggestion! Ben

To:webmastera Thank you for your time to comment my essay! In my essay, the word "will" does not indicate future tense. It means likelihood or can. In the last paragraph, I try to write more, but I have no better idea. Anyway, thank you very much!

Pattention to grammar. Practice everyday, I'm sure you will make great progress!

Hello, everyone, I want to have your commentary on my essay. Thanks![clap] 0043 Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Dangerous sports, such as rock climbing, mountaineering and diving, are very popular these days, especially among young people. These activities will give people excitement and challenge and make them different from others. I think these are the main reasons why people are so enthusiastic about them. First of all, dangerous activities are very exciting and fun. Everyday, for most people life is almost the same, commuting between companies and dwellings, working eight hours, doing house work or watching boring TV programs. Taking part in dangerous but not life-threatening games, such as bungee, would surely add fun to their dull routine life. Not only the players but also the spectators would feel excited in these activities. Another reason is that, by participating in dangerous sports, people can develop their skills and stamina. Dangerous activities, such as mountain climbing, are very challenging. During explorations in mountain climbing, people will face difficulties and dangerous of the perilous nature. In order to cope with these difficulties, they need careful planning and training in advance. Therefore, these activities are very beneficial in building their skills and strength. Finally, taking part in such activities is also a good opportunity for some people to differentiate themselves from ordinary people. It is nature that people want to be different from others and dream to become famous. There have been many cases of risk-takers who came to fame overnight by their success in very dangerous activities. In conclusion, by taking part in various dangerous activities, people will have fun, develop their skills and make them different. I believe this explains why such kinds of activities are becoming more and more prevalent nowadays.