I've got literally a couple of minutes that I can spend on this post; I hope that's okay. First, this is a very nice start. You seem comfortable with writing and with deeper, more philosophical ideas. You give a lot of examples; most of the essays I read give two examples only, as it's hard to develop the ideas for three examples in 25 minutes. I think you should develop your paragraphs a bit more to improve the essay, which would probably require that you reduce the number of examples you use. I actually think that your introduction and conclusion are very interesting; try to incorporate some of what you do in the intro and conclusion in the body paragraphs.
Score? I'd say either a 4/6 or a 5/6, leaning more towards the 5/6.
If you speak tactfully about such sensitive things, I think you should be okay. After all, that's what we do in college--explore the full range of humanity.
Overall, good job!