Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'essay feedback'.
-
Thanks for viewing this post. It would help me a lot if you could rate my essay out of 6 and mention any scope for improvement :) PROMPT Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position. RESPONSE Universities play a crucial role in shaping the personality of young adults and aid them to survive the ever-increasing competitive world. A student must thrive on being an all-rounder and maximize his breadth of knowledge across various fields apart from his study area. It is pivotal that students gain knowledge and skill across diverse fields and not restrict themselves to one's specialization/domain. A quick reflection on the work-life of an individual in the technology sector reveals how all fields are convoluted. A CEO of a start-up at silicon valley requires technical knowledge about the product/service their company offers and needs to be aware of how to market it. If it were not for Steve Jobs' creativity, soft skills, marketing strategy, and charismatic personality, Apple would not have become the first trillion-dollar company by stock value as it is today. It is only with a deep understanding of human anatomy and enzymes that researchers at Google's DeepMind created AlphaFold, a neural network to predict the 3D structure of proteins with unprecedented accuracy. How will researchers publish their work without literary knowledge? Hence, juxtaposing various fields and not looking at them as one unified entity is not a sound solution. There is a pithy saying that when one removes the barriers of keeping oneself restricted to a particular field, the only barrier left is one's imagination. Furthermore, humans' imagination runs wild. The evolution of TED is a perfect example in support of this. It brings to light how innovators and extraordinary speakers, adding up a bit of spice and variety to their field of study, change how the public views it. Taking interdisciplinary courses would aid students in honing their imagination and sense of innovation. It makes people realize the depth at which fields are interrelated. Let us take the blending of psychology with computer science as an example. While developing a social media platform like Instagram, various psychological questions pop up. Is it going to solve the user's problem? How to attract users to use this product? All the questions can be answered by doing research in interviews and surveys and analyzing the psychological traits of people. Receiving education in various fields will help students adapt to society more quickly. For instance, all citizens of a nation must evaluate the ability of presidential candidates and make a rational decision. Courses on economics and politics would help them analyze what changes these candidates can bring to education, infrastructure, healthcare, and diplomacy. One might argue that taking up a variety of courses outside one's field of study might qualify one's knowledge in his/her field, thereby violating the fundamentals of specializing at a university. Moreover, forcing students to take up unrelated courses acts as an extra burden and might pressure them. Such stress, undoubtedly, will lead to loss of focus and increase diversion. As a result, the university might be filled with unenthusiastic researchers and bored students. One way to tackle pressurizing the students is to make them aware of the courses that can dovetail with their specialization and let them make their choices, instead of having it as a requirement. To sum up, I agree that universities should let students take up various courses and explore other domains. This versatility will benefit the students in their research and career and help flourish society.
-
- essay feedback
- gre
-
(and 3 more)
Tagged with:
-
In most professions and academic fields, imagination is more important than knowledge. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. Everyone develops an imagination once they come to be a certain age. However, knowledge, on the other hand, is accumulated and constructed over time as we get older in age and further along in our academic career. Being able to have a broad sense of imagination allows for a multitude of new ideas that can potentially enhance a profession or academic field. Consequently, being able to supply that skill of imagination with a surplus of knowledge is ideal in perfecting one’s profession or academic field. However, the prompt states that imagination is actually more important than knowledge when it comes to most professions or an academic fields. I moderately disagree with this proposal, as being educated, backing claims or ideas with empirical support are far stronger than making a claim based on one’s imagination, for two reasons. First, since everyone develops an imagination at some point in their life, there would be no use for education and higher education if humans solely relied on their imagination. One’s imagination allows them to go so far until further knowledge is needed. For instance, a doctor that holds a PhD in Pediatric Neurosurgery did not finish their bachelor’s degree by imagining the different brain parts and functions of a three-year-old. Nor did they learn how to operate on a small human brain by closing their eyes and imagining how they would complete such a travailing surgery. The above example indicates that it is evident that a successful doctor that holds such a high degree accomplished this through gaining knowledge over the course of their life. Professions that include operating on people, saving people’s lives, or that require one to be cogent during a situation, are all professions that must have required some amount of knowledge. Relying on purely imagination would not allow for people’s lives to be saved each and every day. Secondly, gaining knowledge over the course of one’s life allows human interaction to be enhanced because different pieces of information are being shared with a solid foundation, thus enhancing the human race by allowing for even more knowledge to be absorbed. For instance, if a person without a certification in nutrition wanted to understand how they should be eating and properly fueling their body, chances are they would find a certified intrusions The reason for listening to someone of this caliber is because they are, in fact, knowledgeable about the topic that needs to be discussed about. Very rarely would we see someone taking any type of advice from another person that claims the advice is based on purely imagination. While being able to imagine different cases in which someone would lose this much weight or have to eat this amount of protein is important in determining the best plan for someone, it is ultimately based on the foundation of one’s knowledge. Of course, some may claim that not everyone has the opportunity to gain a greater amount of knowledge, so they resort to their imagination instead. While this may remain true, it is a mistake to say that most professions and academic fields rely more on imagination because one’s imagination has to be based on some type of knowledge or we would not have a starting point for that idea. For the above reasons, I find it problematic to say most professions rely on imagination rather than knowledge. If imagination was enough, there would be no need for technology, teachers, or higher levels of education.
-
- awa
- essay feedback
-
(and 3 more)
Tagged with:
-
Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why? With advent of new technologies we stepped into new era of mordenization where everyone including some children have technologies like smartphones with them. More and more parents at giving access to smartphones to the children day by day.While it seems to be the part of mordenization to equip children with smartphones, it has got some demerits as well. To balance both sides will be the correct way to proceed. Firstly, lets talk about some advantages of giving smart phones to the children. With the evolution of the smart phones it is not just a piece of equipment to call and do text messaging, rather it has become the most versatile and multipurpose utility today. So getting familiar with it is nice thing to donot too early but early enough. From this they can learn new things easily as it has got some multimedia in it and the internet has all the information they need in an instance. Next, as the technology in developing the smart phones are getting smarter every day ,it contain more and more information updated. so children of today will get updated and needed information with much ease with it. They will learn more things from it easily and quickly. Before some children couldnot get the knowlege they needed due to unavailability or low number of books or material in the library, now with smart phone they can overcome the problem and they can easily access the material anywhere anytime. Similarly , new online study platforms will help share some great way of learning. some of the examples are like khanacademy, tedx,and othe youtube channels. this will help some children in remote area where providing quaity education is hard. Having listed all of above advantages of the smartphone in a hand of a child, we shouldnt for a second beleive that it is all good. like many things it has also different dimerits aswell. Some child may have smart phones from very young age and that is also without any limitation; in that case the child may deeply invole in virtual reality and may be lessee and lesser intouch with reality. this may create problem in him later ; later in life he may have problem communicationg with people . There as some things which needs to be experienced in reality not in virtual reality. smartphone should never be the replacement for that. Like playing outdoor and indoor game in reality is far more better than playing a smartphone games. Communicating with friends in person will have some human emotions involved rather than communicating via chatting. Besides, smart phones have many other problem like child pornography,cyber bullying and many other under researched hamful effects . In conclusion cautious and limited use of cellphone by children under parental guidance in helpful to their future. time: took 29minutes and 2 sec
-
- essay
- essay feedback
-
(and 3 more)
Tagged with:
-
Hi All! I have two essays that I'll love some feedback on. Issue: All too often, companies hire outside consultants to suggest ways for the company to operate more efficiently. If companies were to spend more time listening to their own employees, such consultants would be unnecessary. Essay: - It's always crucial to spend our time listening to our employee. In comparison to outside consultants, employees are the ones whom have been in the company the longest. They are also the driving force of the operation. However, there are also valid reasons companies should hire outside consultant. Primarily, they're a great candidate to provide fresh ideas. Secondly, they're professionally trained to advice companies so they can thrive. Hiring an outside consultant could be a rough process, as they can direct the company in one way or for the worse. Selecting someone from the outside that you can trust with a company is not easy. However, these are trained professionals that spots pitfalls and rooms for improvement. The problem with consulting within for one, is groupthink. There has been internally established roles of leadership within the company, established norms, and assigned authority. If those authorities are the ones to make decisions, it's difficult for the rest of the team to disagree, depending on the leader themselves. Furthermore, if the team is used to the decision of the leader, perhaps it's predictable, they're at a higher risk to blindly follow. Although, this may save their jobs, it can hurt the growth of the company. In another sense, hiring an outside consultant can help brainstorm different prospective. A great treatment of groupthink is also to find a different perspective, someone that has not been there from the beginning. They're more likely to pick up on the pitfalls of the plan and steer them in the right direction. Sometimes, companies are build on a firm goal, and after time spent focused on such goal, it's difficult to see outside of the box. Having a different perspective can elevate a company that may have not if they had stay consulting from within. Lastly, hiring a consultant is better because they're professional that have been trained in different ways that a company can thrive. If the qualified consultant has a great deal of experience, working with different industries and different companies. They're able to combine their experience, perhaps from different companies to tailor the best fit for the company. It would be difficult for the company to see what's making other companies so successful, unless they have a spy! Which in this case, would be highly unethical! Consultant within the company can save the company some money initially and also to build company morale as the employees feels that their opinion matters. However, speaking in longevity wise, the company can thrive with the resources of a fresh and different perspective, a highly experienced consultant can take the company to the next level that the company itself my have not known it's possible. - Argument: Many lives might be saved if inoculations against cow flu were routinely administered to all people in areas in which the disease is detected.However since there is a small possibility that a person will die as a result of the inoculations,we cannot permit inoculations against cow flu to be routinely administered Essay: This argument is flawed for numerous reasons. Primarily the argument is based on unwarranted assumptions that many lives can be saved if inoculations against cow flu were administered to all people in areas where the disease is detected, yet it fails to provide statistics or explanations on why it's a good idea. Therefore, it makes the argument invalid. The argument in the first sentence fails to provide explanations for the areas that are not detected. Lives might be saved for those areas that are detected, but what exactly are those areas? If those are more urban or wealthy areas with more support, then what about the more rural areas without much support? Had the argument had provided a fair explanation of the trustworthiness of how the disease can be detected, then it may have been a more sense, but even then, they would have to further explain the process of detecting the disease, and how often should it be done. The argument also leaves vague questions, for example, "since there is a small possibility that a person will die", that does not sound promising as all. What is the statistic of the possibility, as we understand that not every treatment is 100 percent guarantee to work. However, it would be more convincing and comprehendible had the argument provided some facts and statistics on the vague "possibility" of death. Even then, they would have to provide the validity of the statistics. If it was reproduced, or if it had been experimented professionally. Finally, the argument concludes by "we cannot permit inoculations against cow flu" after explicitly proposing that it can save many lives is an unnecessary statement unless there has a solution to the problem. This last sentence completely wipes out the importance of the whole argument. If this is not permitted, what are the other options to improve the success rate of the inoculations? Had this sentence been provided with more comforting solution, it would have made the argument valid. Because the argument was vague and made unwarranted assumptions. it failed to make a convincing case why inoculations against cow flu should be routinely administered to all people in detected areas. Please!!! Thank you so much! -Lea
-
Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position. Society is two-fold, benign people helping to improve society and deceptive individuals contriving to make more profits for their selfish motives. Scandals expose these immoral activities and sometimes bad characters of certain people regarded with utmost value. Therefore, the issue of scandals being a useful tool for showcasing problems that aren't mentioned by speakers or reformers is absolutely justifiable. Scandals bring out the illegal activities done by various organizations to the common masses who are unaware of these problems and they work hard together to find appropriate solutions. For instance, during the British colonization, they introduced a farming in India known as 'Indigo Farming' that increases crop production to almost double than average. However, people were unaware of the detrimental effects, like rapid decrease in the soils' nutritive properties in later years, of such a method. Later this scandal was revealed and caused farmers to revolt against this ill practice. No speaker or reformer mentioned this during their speeches, since they were more concerned about other problems like increasing prices of the crops, eliminating the middle man in their trading process and others. Hence, such scandals are necessary to expose activities that are causing latent problems or will be prime reasons for conundrums in future. Scandals also pave way for good reforms for a better future. Had the 'Indigo Farming' scandal not have been brought to limelight, there would not have been a more significant unity in struggling for India's independence from the British. Recent scandals like 'Volkswagen Emission Scandal' showed how car manufacturers exploited emission rules to make high performance cars. These cars emitted pollution beyond certain standardized benchmarks but was the common masses weren't aware of such an illegal activity until the scandal happened. Hence, with such scandals, there is a strive to improve laws that will help society coexist with Nature.It was rumoured that a lot of prominent reformers knew about this activity by Volkswagen, but didn't mention them because of the influence Volkswagen had on the automobile market. Therefore, even though reformers try to change the prevalent evil in the existing society, a lot of them are mere 'puppets' to magnanimous institutions and hence won't bring certain problems to light. In conclusion, scandals are a way to bring certain problems infront of the people. Since speakers and reformers generally talk about problems that are widely known to people so that they gain more attention, catching secret illicit activities wouldn't have been possible otherwise.
-
Prompt: A teacher’s ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught. The issue at hand is that a teacher’s ability to relate to students is more important than her knowledge with the subject she is teaching. The is a complex issue which allows the writer to take a nuanced stand as teacher in a primary or high school must have a different set of characteristics compared to the teachers in colleges. But under most circumstances the ability of the teacher to understand the needs of her students and teach accordingly is much more important than the knowledge she possesses in the subject that she is teaching. A teacher working in a primary or high school will have students of different capabilities which will include quick learners as well really slow learners. A teacher’s role in a school is to make all the students understand the concepts being taught in the lectures which is more important than having a vast knowledge in a subject. The sound knowledge of a teacher in a particular subject she is teaching does not always translate to efficient teaching of that subject. A teacher who might not have in depth knowledge in a particular subject might be able to teach the concepts in a manner that all the students in a class can understand than the a teacher who has great knowledge in a subject but is unable to deliver the concepts to the students efficiently leaving the students in the lurch. When an Economics teacher teaches the concepts of fundamental theory of economics to high school students she must know what her students want to learn from this topic, do the students have a basic knowledge of the topic or not. Since the topic is being taught in a high school it is important to note that all the students might really have a fair knowledge of the subject. Hence the teacher must teach to cover the “Lowest common denominator”, that is she must teach in way that even the most dull student in the class is able to understand the subject that is being taught. If the teacher teaches in a manner that only the bright students understand then the overall performance of the students in the exams will be affected. The average or below average students might score good marks or might even fail in the subject due to the lack of undestanding. A teacher, thus must understand the needs of the each student in the class in teach the concepts accordingly in order to make sure that all the students have understood the concepts that were taught. In few other cases, a subject such environmental science might be a boring subject to listen to for most of the students. A teacher in such cases can use audio-visual presentations so the students enjoy the lecture and understand the concepts rather feeling bored in listening to lectures. An academic or an researcher who is working in a college might have significant knowledge in a subject but when is asked to deliver a lecture in a particular topic his focus should be on delivering the topic efficiently so that all the students will understand the topic, if he is unable to deliver a lecture properly his knowledge is not of much use to his students. In graduate schools a teacher might not have to teach a trivialize a topic to teach to it to all students as most of the students might have a fair knowledge of the subject being taught. Hence it is very much important for a teacher to understand the needs of his students while teaching than having a good knowledge in the subject being taught for efficient delivery of lecture.
-
- essay feedback
- students
-
(and 3 more)
Tagged with:
-
Q. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. My response: I strongly believe that honesty is the best policy. Having said that, I have also come to realize that nothing is absolute, including ‘truth’. Everything is relative, and like so many other things, whether one should tell the truth or not in a relationship also sometimes depends upon the situation. Our intentions and actions are dependent upon the context in which we see things and our previous experiences. So one should make an effort in rationally understanding the reason behind somebody’s thought process when told the truth. In a situation where, a person has made a mistake or done something unintentionally and later realized that it might end up hurting the other person, I think coming out clean about what one did is the way to go. As until one tells the truth, one keeps on feeling guilty about that act of error. So, for one’s own peace of mind and clear conscience, I would recommend telling the whole truth. In the end, if the other person truly respects and cherishes the relationship, they would understand and let bygones be bygones. Whereas in a situation where even telling the truth might not help the problem or maybe even make it worse, it is better to not say anything. For example, if somebody is behaving in an erratic manner because they are going through an emotionally difficult phase, it will not help to confront that person with the blatant truth. In that case, one should support that person and give them their space. If their behavior is going out of hand, then maybe it can be subtly pointed out in a manner that will not hurt their feelings too much but will also let them know what the issue is. Such situations are tricky and need to be handled very carefully. As relationships can be very involved at times, there is no one right answer to that question. However, from my personal experience I can say that telling the truth is the right thing to do in more than ninety percent of the situations.
-
- essay feedback
- person
-
(and 3 more)
Tagged with:
-
I am Arushi Gupta from India, I have done masters in Economics and I am preparing for GRE to pursue my higher studies outside India.
- 2 replies
-
- essay feedback
- gre preparation
-
(and 3 more)
Tagged with:
-
Please score my Analytical Writing essays and provide feedback
chasehelvey posted a topic in GRE AWA
Analytical Writing: Issue Essay All too often, companies hire outside consultants to suggest ways for the company to operate more efficiently. If companies were to spend more time listening to their own employees, such consultants would be unnecessary. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with these statements and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statements might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I believe that hiring outside consultants to suggest possible changes is an effective method for improving processes and incorporating new and imaginative ideas in the workplace. When employees are all trained to do a certain activity and have been doing it successfully for some time, there is little need to seek possible improvements. Hiring a third party with a fresh set of eyes and an in-depth understanding of the industry is a great way to challenge the current status-quo of the hiring company. As far as the profitability of this action, it can be a risk. These consultants often charge a large fee and it would result in a loss of profits if they find nothing to significantly improve. Companies should spend some time listening to what their employees have to say and have periodic team meetings about current problems and possible improvements. Holding these meetings will better identify areas that need improvement and allows management to give them some flexibility to try their proposed new methods. Since it is not the specialty of the employees to this, they would be getting paid to do something other than the job they are best at and obligated to do; so it would be wise to rarely have such meetings. Listening to your employees is a great way to determine if you need to hire a third party consultant, but it is best for them to spend most of their time working on what they do best. If innovation is deemed necessary by management, it is best to opt to hire professional consultants if there is a sense that improvements must be made. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Analytical Writing: Argument Many lives might be saved if inoculations against cow flu were routinely administered to all people in areas where the disease is detected. However, since there is a small possibility that a person will die as a result of the inoculations, we cannot permit inoculations against cow flu to be routinely administered. Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The passage states that many lives can be saved with the routine administration of inoculations for cow flu, but indicates there is a small percentage chance that a person with die after it is administered to them. This seems like a heavy risk/reward trade-off, especially with no hard numbers like to back it up like: how many people contract cow flu each year, how many die from the disease, how large the area and population density is in the detected areas, the percentage expected to die from the inoculations and if any age/gender/ethnicity is especially prone to fatality from the inoculations. No matter what, if there is even a slight chance of death there will have to be heavy regulations, warnings and public service announcements to help educate the public. If research is conducted and it is found that .001% of people die from receiving an inoculation, 5% of people who contract the virus die, cow flu is effecting a large, densely populated area and it is easily spread; this would greatly weaken the argument and routine administration should be approved. If research is conducted and it is found that 2% of people die from receiving an inoculation, .01% of people who contract the virus die, cow flu is detected in a small, less populated area and it is doesn't spread easily or is easily combated by a normal immune system; this would tremendously strengthen the argument and routine administration should be denied. For something this serious, large clinical trials from top medical research institutions would need to provide conclusive numbers to determine the risk/reward and amount of regulation needed. The government would have to analyze the numbers provided by the institutions and make a hard choice. In my examples, the numbers were large to demonstrate appropriate actions; but there is a point to where either enough people are dying from cow flu and we must take immediate action or there are relatively few deaths each year with a significantly high fatality rate from inoculations and we should not administer the inoculations until more research is done to provide a new vaccine with a lower fatality rate or if cow flu is at risk for becoming a national epidemic.-
- analytical writing
- awa
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
TOEFL Independent Writing Task: Q: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Response: Research has proven that the human generation is growing smarter. Statistics from several IQ tests has shown an increase of about 4-6 points per human generation. Despite the increase in IQ levels which depict human intelligence, there is no evidence of increase in maturity levels. I firmly disagree with the statement that children over the age of 15 should be allowed to vote. Majority of children gain the knowledge, experience and the ability to make decisions after they are seventeen or eighteen years old. Though children are gaining more knowledge at an early age nowadays, that knowledge is more in the fields of physical sciences. Because of the Internet, they know a lot more about topics and subjects taught in their schools. However, they may fail to possess the wisdom required in the field of Politics. For example, most of my friends didn't even know about all the political parties extant in my country before eleventh grade. How can they be expected to reach a valid conclusion without possessing sufficient information? Having had no prior experience, a few children can recognize the work done by political parties at a very young age. It’s true that even children who vote for the first time when they are eighteen years old have no prior experience. However, by that time, they may have learned more about the political parties and their work from their parents. This sort of gives them a secondhand experience. It’s utmost necessary to know about the past work done by the elected parties and their impacts. Coming to ability of making decisions, majority of children make major decisions after eleventh or twelfth grade, when they need to choose their college. There is a vast difference between deciding the outfit to be worn on a date and choosing a National Leader, who usually stays in rule for five years in most of the countries. Kids can be easily swayed by small incentives like 'Free Wi-Fi’, concessions in Movie Tickets et al, thereby missing out on major issues like Foreign Policies or GDP improvisation. To conclude, children should be allowed to vote after seventeen or eighteen years as by that time, they would have gained sufficient knowledge about political parties, would have become better at making decisions and would have gained some secondary experience of elections. Words: 385 Thanks
-
- essay feedback
- toefl
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
Hi, I am a new member, making my first post. I would be delighted if some of the people here would help me out with my essay I have written on the analyzing an issue. Please tell me how much it would get out of 6 and any tips to make it better. Thanks in advance! Question: "A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum till they enter college." Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position. Essay: One of the most important concerns of a nation is the education of its children. Many countries follow different policies in this regard, and they all have their pros and cons. The suggested proposal in the question is certainly an interesting one, because it is effecient and promotes equality but also overlooks some pitfalls, and hence may not fulfill its intended purpose. This policy will bring down the cost of education, because the scale of production of books etc.will increase. The nation can also boast of the uniformity of the standard of education that it has. By implementing this program, the nation can claim that a child in any nook and cranny of the country is learning the same things as the rest of the country. However, this proposal has some holes.Firstly, it is not the curriculum but how it is taught that determines how well a child learns a topic. Two children having the same textbook but different teachers can have a world of difference in their level of understanding. Secondly, the proposal fails to account for the regional aspects of the nation in the education of children. A great example of this is languages. It is certainly necessary to learn the national language, but the children should also be able to learn the laguage in the particular part of the nation that he/she resides in. Knowledge of this is going to be of greater practical value to the student. Thirdly, it is important to let children experiment and try out different things while in their youth so as to be able to find out their strangths and weaknesses. A student who wants to pursue History, for example, can only do as much as his curiculum allows him to. Thus,it is important to make sure that students are not churned out of schoold like robots out of facrories, but carefully nurture their individuality as well, which can be done by providing additional courses as extra options.
-
- analysis of an issue
- analytical writing
- (and 3 more)
-
Argument : Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean. The claims made by the statement that woven baskets with a distinctive pattern were previously found only in the immediate vicinity of the village of Palea. There has been, however, no information provided about the source of this fact and if the archaeological study that published this fact actually covered sites other than those of Palea and its vicinity. As a regression of this, the actual origin of the peculiar basket pattern might have been made a rather different city around Palea or was a distinctive pattern of the region rather than being a patron of Palea village. Moving forward in the argument, the argument states that a basket with the patterns which were assumed to a be a doctrine of Palea was found across the Brim river. As due to the size and magnanimity of the river allows it to be crossed only by boat and no trace of boats were found, the baskets should have been made somewhere on the other side of Brim river. This statement has major loopholes in the assumptions it makes.Firstly,as very evident in the passage itself, absence of archaeological evidence doesn't gurrantee the absence of an item as happened in the case of later discovery of basket in Lithos. Generalizing from specific results doesn't always turn out be a truth as happened in case of Palea village's association with the distinctive pattern. It is quite possible for Paleans to have boats in the prehistoric times which our archaeological geniuses have not been able to discover yet. Secondly, the fact that boats were not found is a recent truth after or during the Lithos site discovery mission or a subsumed fact in the Palea baskets is not clearly stated to understand if the fact is recent enough after the Lithos discovery to be relevant. On a different wavelength, as stated that the discovery of a single such basket in Lithos can be an indicator of the presence of more such basket but doesn't prove it. Drawing the conclusion that presence of one basket marks the existence of basket in the village is rather an extrapolation. This fact can be easily explained by the mention of the Brim river. The basket might have been floated across the river to reach Lithos from the Palean shore. The argument contains multiple assumptions which may weaken or strengthen the argument as has been elaborated above.
-
To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. Essay: 437 words, spelling is check The issue of whether or not studying the major cities of a country could be used for determining the key characteristics of the society of that country is a contentious one. While each side has its strengths and weaknesses, I believe that major cities of a society has the potential ability to clearly demonstrate the most important characteristics of that society, because in most cases, major cities are located in the centers of civilization of a society an can be a good representative. Furthermore, major cities fairly consist of different types of people, so that they have enough diversity to be used as the study case for determining a society's major characteristics. In addition, major cities are developed in different aspects from social values to industry. First and foremost, a common phenomena is that major cities of an specific country are located near the most important center of civilizations of that country. The examples for this point is Isfahan and Shiraz in Iran which are located in the center of civilizations of ancient Iran. As major centers of civilizations have played an important role in building a society's characteristics, undoubtedly, studying major cities could result in figuring out the characteristics of a society. Second, by enlarging a cities, many many people from different social categories (workers, engineers, managers, etc.) will be attracted to the city, making that city a bold diverse center of populations. In social studies, the more diverse the research sample is, the more reliable the result of the study will be. Therefore, studying major cities of a society is definitely the most reliable way toward identifying the characteristic of that specific society. Finally, as almost major cities are developed in different aspects, from industry and economics to religion and education, by deepening the study into below layers of a major city, one can realize acceptable values and key characteristics of a society. However, one may argue that because the villages and small towns in a society are fairly kept away from technology, they represent the pure culture and characteristics of a society more than large cities. This point is flawed, since the concentration of population in these days are in cities and especially in major cities. These concentrations of people are true representative for a society as their numbers overwhelm the amount of populations in villages and small towns. In conclusion, since major cities are shaped in the primary centers of civilizations and also, they consist of too different kinds of people as well as developing in various aspects, in my opinion, they can be the most important representative for characteristic of a society.
-
- analytical writing
- essay feedback
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
It would be very kind if someone can grade my argument essay.Hope to see positive response. Thank you in advance. Argument prompt - "Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex." Essay- The mentioned business plan of the manager of Rialto Movie Theatre concludes that their Movie theatre should make changes in the business plan to prevent it from closing forever. To justify his conclusion, author provides few evidences such as; a recent survey indicating negative response about the theatre. As these evidences are based on certain assumptions which are not very sound, I do not think that the author’s conclusion is well-proved. Firstly, the author mentions about the recent survey of Apex Theatre which is having good facilities. Author here assumes that the people are satisfied completely only by the facilities provided by Apex Theatre. There may be a possibility that this happened due to considerably better location of the Apex Theatre or because of other reasons such as transportation facilities to outsiders and more interested people who are living in that same area where Apex is located. Furthermore, author indicates about the recent survey which implies 80 % of people’s negative response about the high price of new movies. Author here clearly assumed that the prize of ticket will not matter for people if the Theatre authority improves its service. He also assumes that high prizes of movie tickets are just because of the theatre authorities. There might be a case that people will not go to movies even after improving service and also there might be a possibility that these high rates are just because of high taxes by the government . Lastly, author also believes in extrapolation as it directly compares the strategies of Rialto Movie Theatre with the Apex Theatre without considering number of other factors in which they differ. It is not always true that, what works on one place will surely work on another place too. The author could have provided certain logical evidences to bolster the argument such as, information about both the places, people around them and facilities provided there so as to compare them. Also he could provide the number of respondents of survey, the actual reason behind the decreasing number of moviegoers and demands of respondents about the service and price.
-
- essay feedback
- essay gre need help
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
Thank you for taking a look at my two essays.! Issue- "Technology, while apparently aimed to simplify our lives, only makes our lives more complicated.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position." Communication is a large part of how humans interact with each other. Relationships are formed through conversation and understanding of two individuals. However, how do two friends continue that relationship as the fork in the road leads to the companions leading lives elsewhere in the world? There have been techonological advances in devices such as the telephone where simple communication can be achieved when two friends are miles apart. Techonology has hit it's head on the nail where it has aimed to make our lives much more simpler. The days have past where the pony express had to deliver mail to and fro from two people. Information moved at a snails pace through a mailman on a stallion at that time. Urgent news could be days away compared to a quick dial of a phone number leading to immediate satisfaction. The revalation that is the telephone has made lives easier in all walks of life. Another way that technology has simplified lives is the ability to become organized through our cellular phones. A singular device that fits in your pocket has the ability to do numerous tasks. Imagine an office desk; what does it comprise of? A few things would be a computer, access to the internet, a telephone, and many other sationary needs. The advances in technology has given the ability of a cell phone to be an office desk in the palm of your hands. Almost anything and everything one can task themselves with at their cubicle, they could do on a bus. The ability to do so has caused whole companies to move onto cellular phones. An example would be a taxi application called Uber. One could hail a personal taxi to their very position because of the global positioning system inside their phone. That taxi can take you wherver you'd like and payment is easy, again, right through the phone application. A complete business is run on a cellular phone and because of this, lives are made simpler not having to worry about transportation. Although technology has made insane movements to make lives easier, there are possible repercussions. Let's take the cellular phone again as an example. There have been reports stating that cellphones have caused the young adult generation to become anti-social; hiding behind their bright handheld screens keeping themselves away from human contact in public. Before cellphones were able to pull videos and articles to read through the air, people were reading books and newspapers in the same situations. Communication in public settings is not completely necessary. That video or news article can be educational to that person learning from it. Remember that information is as quick to surface as it arises. Now I remember that many parents always teach that talking to strangers is something that is not pivitol. So, that cellular phone does not make our lives anymore complicated because it is enlightening the users through the applications that it's able to perform. Technology has revolutionized the way that lives are lived. It is something that will continue to evolve as time moves on. There are technologies being developed to correct the human desolation of the earth. A problem that has been developed as a result to technology. However, because of increasing new technologies we are able to right our wrongs and learn from our mistakes, thus leading us to live simpler lives. Argument - "SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's current headquarters. Moreover, Middleburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision. Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on the assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions prove unwarranted. SuperCorp's move to Corporateville has proved to be a better choice compared to Middlesburg in the eyes of the SuperCorp heads. As stated, the homeowners in Corporatevill state its superior. The people saying that Corporateville is a better place are the people already living in it. Just as anyone who is asked about their hometown will speak highly about it. Pride in cities are seen especially when asked about living situation or likeability. SuperCorp being a super corperation is a possible high income, white collared company. Employees that are taking a part in the survey would perfer a nicer neighborhood than to an urbanized area. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree in this statement. If someone's income is high, they will want to use that money to treat themselves to a better and safer life for them and their family. Being that the survey is only for the employees, only those that work at SuperCorp are able to respond to it. The employees working at a super corperation will be making a pretty penny when it comes to their position at SuperCorp. Therefore Corporateville will be favored over Middleburg. The names of these cities provides implications of status. Employees at SuperCorp will be happy to say that they are not of middle class, and are members of the one percents. These people would desire a city name, Corporateville, that reflects their status. Therefore, the employee survey issued to the high money making workers will provide answers stating that the move from Middlesburg to Corporateville will be favored. Assuming that a profitable company leaves an area, and moves to another, taxes are sure to rise wherever it goes. Because the higher the population in a city will allow the rise in maintinence and property taxes to deal with the influx of people. With this, it will be a sad day when said employees who have wanted to save money see that taxes rise because of their large successful company moving so an area where they have brought income to the area.
-
- argument
- essay feedback
-
(and 3 more)
Tagged with:
-
TOPIC-A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. Education is of utmost importance for any individual. In lieu of this, every nation should have a sound educational structure in place. A structure which takes into account the different characteristics of students. In general, no two students have the same learning capability or grasping power. Every student is unique in his own right. Hence, I disagree with the recommendation which requires all students to study under the same curriculum. Firstly, if the same curriculum has to be followed in every school, a common curriculum has to be developed which is neither too easy nor too difficult for students. Having an average level curriculum in place is detrimental to students who are at either extremes-the ones who are smarter and sharper than the average student will not be able to utilize their minds to the highest potential and the ones who are weaker than other students in academics will inevitably struggle to keep up with the rest of the class. Secondly, a common curriculum in place would mean that each student studies the same subjects. In this case, a country with a large diversity of culture and language, would stand to lose its diversity of language and culture, for all students would now study and learn the same subject, making the nation devoid of any cultural diversity among students. A country like India would suffer considerably, because it is known for its diverse culture and language among different states. Also, a standardized curriculum would mean that every school in every city will need to have the same infrastructure for such a proposal to be successful. However, in most developing countries there exists a huge gap among cities, in terms of the infrastructure, or the quality of teachers available. For instance, cities like New Delhi and Noida are close in terms of distance, but miles apart metaphorically. Further, there exists the problem of shelling out the same amount of fee for the curriculum. As the cities have significant differences in per capita incomes, it will be difficult for students of all cities to shell out the same amount of money as fees. Although there are a few benefits of implementing such an idea, such as same level for all students, no discrimination between students, and equal opportunities for all, I personally believe that such a model will find little success in most countries and hence it should not be implemented..
-
- essay feedback
- gre
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
Hey all! This is my first try at an Issue Task, so any advice or thoughts you could give me would be fantastic. I'm more than happy to read any essays you have as well if you're looking for feedback on your work. Thank you! Prompt: The best way to teach—whether as an educator, employer, or parent—is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position. Essay: The statement linking effective teaching methodology with exclusive praise demonstrates the insecurity one feels when trying to mentor others, be they children or adults. The assumption, however, that only positive acknowledgement produces a quality learner is flawed as ignoring negative actions will exacerbate inappropriate behavior. Teachers should provide learners with an appropriate amount of both praise for positive action and correction for negative action. Because many parents think their children are angels, teachers fantasize about inspiring and uplifting their students, and employers aspire to train employees to be masters of their fields, they may feel inclined to focus exclusively on praising a learner’s positive actions, either out of bias or fear and guilt in disciplining them. This well-intentioned praise, however, may have detrimental effects on a learner’s emotional stability. Psychological research shows that exclusive praise is parenting can cause a child to grow into an adult who holds feelings of superiority above others and has difficulty empathizing and socializing with his or her peers. If children witness friends being disciplined by their parents and yet experience none from their own family, they may believe that they have never done wrong and because others have, clearly they are superior to their peers. Furthermore, never experiencing correction can cause a person to be unprepared for a reality in which he or she is not the best. If high school teachers, for example, refuse to challenge their students and correct them when they demonstrate poor inquiries, they will enter into college or the workforce quickly realizing that not only are they not the top of their class as expected, but they also lack the skills to advance their knowledge. Additionally, ignoring negative actions silently reinforces the idea that such behaviors are societally appropriate and correct. Children may express harmful ideas that they either absorb through the media or simply do not understand are harmful and erroneous (e.g. that fat people have no will power; that only gay men wear pink; that people of other races are lesser). If a parent or teacher does not specifically address these issues and explain to the child the effects that stereotypes have on the target populations, these ideas will only exacerbate into adulthood. Ignoring harmful ideas expressed when a child is young could lead to that child becoming a self-righteous bully and bigot in adulthood. Proponents of ignoring negative actions will suggest that excessive critique can also be damaging to a learner. It is true that continually facing criticism would be disheartening and discouraging. It is important to note, however, that a balance in teaching is invaluable. Just as an excessive emphasis on praise can be damaging, so can excessive criticism. Therefore, rather than upbraiding or chastising, correction is discussed. Moreover, not every small feat or misstep needs to be addressed. People will benefit from evaluating their own actions, once given the tools by educators, to develop their critical thinking skills and becoming better citizens. It is understandable why many may have difficulty disciplining or correcting learners, as acknowledging negative actions is uncomfortable for both parties involved, but when this acknowledgment leads to discussion and understanding, and is balanced with appropriate praise, a learner can flourish. Both excessive praise and excessive criticism are detrimental to a receiver. Therefore, teachers should provide learners with a just amount of praise for positive action and correction for negative action.
- 2 replies
-
- awa
- essay feedback
-
(and 3 more)
Tagged with:
-
Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study. We have always heard of the statement "Jack of all trades, king of none". If the universities were to make every student take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study, that is the story which would be repeated in every students life. The student would know alot of aspects and subjects outside his area of focus but he would lose the in depth knowledge of his own field of study. Great scientists have always demonstrated their in depth knowledge, which has led to great discoveries and inventions. Albert Eimestine knew almost all about physics which made him the master of it. His contributions to physics are solely based on his exquisite knowledge and expertise in the subject. If he were to start learning to dance along with physics the same results are certainly not expected. Moreover the questions of how do universities expect students to focus every field he works in also arises from such a decision. When it's anyhow hard for students to work on multiple projects from the same course, it becomes an arduous job if students are expected to work on courses they have never worked on before. The students after their studies are expected to work in a certain sector of the society. If the student have a diverse span of knowledge the sector of occupation becomes bewildering for the student. Anyhow to some extent the reason to a wide field of knowledge gives a route to a storage of untapped innovation for the students. Only when one tries to mix two different dishes together is when one creates a new one. In the same way when a student is exposed to a new culture outside his own he is able to look for new innovative ways to change one. Diversity is the very fundamental of our society. Just as every person is different from the other we would have students with a huge diverse field of knowledge if they were to learn outside their field. Finally the idea to spread the field of knowledge of a student is a very convoluted topic. To some extent it should be kept upto the discretion of the student and not the university to decide upon.
-
- awa essay
- essay feedback
-
(and 1 more)
Tagged with:
-
[TABLE=width: 97%] [TR] [TD=class: copy-bold-light, width: 100%, align: center][/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=class: copy, align: center][TABLE=width: 100%] [TR] [TD=class: copy, align: left][TABLE=width: 98%] [TR] [TD=class: copy, colspan: 2][/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=class: copy, width: 85%]"Regulators and policymakers should respond to potential environmental threats even before the information is fully known or concrete."[/TD] [TD=class: copy, width: 15%, align: right][TABLE] [TR] [TD=align: center][TABLE=width: 10] [TR] [TD=bgcolor: #D2E4F8, align: center][TABLE=width: 23%] [TR] [TD]http://www.800score.com/images/time_left_block.gif[/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] [/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=bgcolor: #D2E4F8, align: center][/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=bgcolor: #D2E4F8, align: center]http://www.800score.com/images/pause.gif[/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] [/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] [/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=class: copy]How would you rate the accuracy of the above statement? Support your position with reasons and examples.[/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] [/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] [/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] Regulators and policymakers should respond to potential environmental threat before the information is fully known since damaging of it is a irreversible process . Hence i agree with the above view. Over the years we have destroyed our environment in such a scale that its effect are visible now. Climatic changes ( global warming ), extinction of some species of animals are such effects. If an official have knowledge about some project which has slightest hindrance to the environment should scrutinize the project . If this is done in the initial days, then changes are easily accommodated otherwise reverse happens. For example , like in the case of Narmada dam project of Gujarat state in India , its potential threat was listed in initial phase . It has created danger for the people living around the dam area since water level would increase . So to avoid this , the government took necessary step for rehabilitation of such people to alternative place . Hence the risk was averted and project was implemented inspite of having threats which was resolved due to officials intervention. Secondly , let us look into example of nuclear power plants which are planned for installation at some places. If regulators do not respond at earliest time its consequences are enormous. Appropriate land need to be given , nuclear waste handling , calamity prevention measures and stringent laws if any rules are not followed ; all such things are to be taken into account before actual project information is available. Ignoring such things would led to tragedy such as Bhopal gas tragedy which shocked the world in 1984 where laws are mishandled and people suffered. Contrary to the above view , an action take at early stage might be flaw if proper information cannot be known and hence its interpretation could be debated . But in general environment related things should be taken in a cautious manner as already we have destroyed the nature to an extreme level. If proper steps would have taken at an earlier stage then Hiroshima and Nagasaki would have never faced the atomic explosion after effects . Till now its generation are facing problem ranging from health issues to physical deformation of body parts. At last , I would like to conclude that environment regulator should be extremely cautious for the coming generation since we have damaged our environment a lot . Hence we need to take steps to stop this destruction process and look into measures to replete our environment resources by having effect environment friendly policies.
-
- analysis issue
- essay feedback
-
(and 3 more)
Tagged with:
-
Governments should offer college and university education free of charge to all students. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position. Governments have a responsibility to invest in the education of the population for the benefit of the population. However, it is not necessary nor even a good identity to cover the entire cost of post-secondary education. As in Canada, governments do well to subsidize college and university education to a reasonable portion of the cost. To begin with, relying entirely on government funding is likely to reduce the finances of the schools. Without raising taxes, government budgets everywhere are already very tight without room for a huge additional expense. This means less money to compete with other countries for quantity and quality of professors, courses, and facilities. What good is a free education if the education is sub-par at best? When subsidized by the government, schools have obligation both toward supporting government interests of societal benefit, as well as the capitalistic drive to compete and profit, which drives performance and innovation. Furthermore, the huge additional expense to the government will surely take away from other more universally rewarding beneficiaries. Meanwhile, the investment does not benefit all citizens directly. Many people are not interested nor suited for post-secondary education. Taking away from infrastructure and military, for instance, doesn’t help people without children at post-secondary age who have to put up with the potholes and reduced security. If anything, the free aspect will attract many more students who are not committed or just not a good fit for university or college. This will detract from the serious students. Instead, subsidy tempers the obstacle of cost to make it more reasonable, while still maintaining a cost that acts, in a way, as a test of a student’s dedication. That said, some countries have implemented free post-secondary schooling. Education, after all, is a clear contributor to a country’s economy and GDP. Taking away the barrier of cost allows equal access to all. It is a matter of tradeoff. The United States has some of the most expensive schools, but they are also some of the world’s best schools. When a resource is made accessible to more people through government funding, something has to give, whether it be other services we rely on like infrastructure or the quality of the resource itself, or both. Government certainly has a strong relationship with the country’s schools. That is why most government’s fund elementary and secondary school. But should that extend to post-secondary? It would come at significant cost to the quality of the school as well as the other government services losing funding to compensate. As such, it is a more appropriate approach to subsidize post-secondary education rather than funding it completely. We need higher level thinkers and doers developed by higher level education. Beyond our physical health, our personal and societal quality of life depends on mental aptitude.
-
Hello :) Here's my argument essay response of one of the mock test which I've been giving lately. Would be grateful if anyone could analyze it and provide some incisive feedback. :) The argument: The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school: Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students. Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction. My response: The given argument talks about a letter written to the principal of the school who has turned over the management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition last year. The given letter is an amalgamation of complains, warnings and suggestions. But there are considerate amount of questions that the parent has failed to answer, which weakens the very purpose of the letter. In the former part of the letter, the parent alleges that Swift Nutrition serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable. The parent does so because his son and his several friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. However, the parents fails to mention what was the exact complaint. Was the food not tasty? Or did they not like the aesthetics of the food served? And most importantly, why did this complaint arise after one whole year? Perhaps they didn't enjoy because it was too hot in the cafeteria. Answers to these questions will help the principal of the school understand the dilemma of the students better. Also, are all the students having the same opinion about the food? If so, then the parent needs to provide evidence to bolster his claims. A survey result may help to support the his claim. Further in the letter, the parent posits that serving food which students don't enjoy will cause them to bring their own lunch, which is less healthy. Now, the statement itself may seem preposterous to the principal. He may think that how can a home-made lunch be less healthy? The intend of the parent is not lucid in this statement and he needs to provide specific insight on this claim. Does the parent mean that the lunch will lose its nutritious value? If yes, then that needs to be mentioned. Lastly, the parent says that if Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students. Again, on what basis is this statement made? Is there a past record of Swift where its consumers have been faced with serious consequences? If yes, then what's the source? Is it veritable? The given letter, while expressing concerns for the students, lack the ability to answer some serious questions. These questions need to be answered in order to falsify the decision of switching to Swift Nutrition. It also needs to posit various evidences to buttress the claims of the parent. Without these answers and evidences, it is very difficult to evaluate the prediction.
-
- argument essay
- awa essay
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
Hello all :) Here's my issue essay response of one of the mock test which I've been giving lately. Would be grateful if anyone could analyze it and provide some incisive feedback. :) The issue at hand: Company management should conduct routine monitoring of all employee e-mail correspondence. Such monitoring will reduce the waste of resources such as time and system capacity, as well as protect the company from lawsuits. Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position. My response: The given policy talks about conducting a routine monitoring of all employee e-mail correspondence. It further alleges that doing so will mitigate the waste of resources such as time and system capacity. The given policy seems to be pragmatic and I do believe that it should be implemented in almost all firms. Firstly, in any company, security is one of the most cardinal aspects to be careful about. Implementing the given policy will help the company avert from collusions of the employees with pariahs. It if my opinion that since the employees would be knowing that their e-mail correspondence is being monitored, they will not dare to engage themselves in any conspiracy against the company. This may help the company's board to develop a sense of fidelity inside them with regards to their employees. Secondly, the given policy claims to reduce the waste of resources. Now, I'm no raconteur but I would like to share an anecdote. One of my friends recently opened his firm named "Opine solutions". It basically is a marketing platform for various firms. Since it is a start up, he started employing stipend-free internships to various callow programmers. But after a month itself, my friend found out that his server had been hacked. He knew it was one of the interns, as he had taken most of the measures to prevent a DNS or similar attacks. He started enquiring and after three weeks, twenty days to be precise, he found out the intern who had colluded with his team to hack the server. And to my friend's utter shock, the hacker used to send the firms logs through the very e-mail provided to him by the firm, since the interns weren't allowed to use their personal e-mails. Now, adopting the stated policy would have helped my friend a lot of time as he could have directly peeped into the logs of the routing monitoring software to find out who was the fraud. Thus, I feel that the policy rightfully claims that a draft of resources will be saved by implementing the policy. Thus, in any firm, I believe that it is important to take measures to discourage charlatans from conspiring against the firm and the stated policy would just serve the purpose.
-
- awa essay
- essay feedback
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
I don't know
-
- essay
- essay feedback
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with:
-
“We can’t stop kids from drinking, so why don’t we just lower the drinking age back down to 18? They are adults for all other purposes. Eighteen year-olds can vote, smoke, marry, drive, fly, pay taxes, take out loans, hold public office, serve on a jury and fight for their country,, so what’s the big deal? Let’s stop spending all this tax money and law enforcement officer time fighting a losing battle!” This sentiment is the most said by those who want to lower the alcohol-consuming age to 18 based on my research. In fact, many of those are parents that grew up in an era when they were authorized to drink 3.2% beer when they were 18. Why did that change and should they change it back? Some believe that by allowing 18s to consume alcohol would mitigate the youthful desire for it as the "forbidden fruit." Before I discuss why the drinking age should stay as it is, I would like discuss the data compiled by me of how the current law in the USA came to be in brief. After Prohibition was repealed in 1933, the decision as to what the legal drinking age should be was left up to each individual state in the USA. As part of the war protests of the 1960’s, youth started pushing for a lowered voting age. “Old Enough to Fight…Old Enough to Vote” were popular stickers of the era. Until 1970, the minimum drinking age in most states was 21. However, in 1971, the voting age started to be lowered around the USA which led the drinking age to be lowered too. Between 1970 and 1976, 21 states reduced the minimum drinking age to 18. Another 8 reduced it to 19 or 20. However, these states immediately noticed sharp increases in alcohol-related fatalities and accidents among teenagers and young adults. As a result, out of the 29 states that had lowered their drinking age, 24 raised the age again between 1976 and 1984. By 1984, only three states allowed 18-year-olds to drink all types of alcoholic liquor. The others adopted some sort of stair-step age requirement based on the type of liquor being consumed. (Koroknay-Palicz, 2000) Health and body The drinking age in America should remain 21, because the human brain continues to develop between the ages of 18 and 21. Studies have shown that the human brain continues to develop past the age of twenty, mostly at the age of 25. People should wait until they are sure that they have the capacity to make proper life decisions, before they are permitted to drink alcohol. Underage drinking can be dangerous, as people may not yet fully understand the consequences of their actions. Drinking at a young age damages the learning and the memorization process in the brain. Every time you drink, part of your brain is impaired. Alcohol's stimulating effects are replaced by an anesthetic effect that causes depression, and when teens are depressed, they may commit a crime, or even suicide. Nevertheless, Alcohol impairs judgment and heightens risk-taking behavior as well as slowing perceptual and motor skills, so given to a person who has an immature brain function in these areas already, the effects of consuming alcohol may even be more exaggerated. And finally, alcohol or drug use during these formative years can cause long term, irreversible damage to the brain and its nerve cells. By performing more than 500 different functions, the liver is essential to our health. Its primary role is to filter all the blood in our bodies by breaking down and eliminating toxins and storing excess blood sugar. It also produces enzymes that break down fats, manufactures proteins that regulate blood clotting, and stores a number of essential vitamins and minerals. All told, the liver keeps us alive by enabling us to digest food, absorb nutrients, control infections, and get rid of toxic substances in our bodies. Drinking excessively causes the liver to accumulate fat and become inflamed which might lead to hepatitis. It also leads to cirrhosis, a condition in which liver cells are so damaged they cannot regenerate, and liver failure. Long-term drinkers are more likely to get certain types of cancer, notes the University of Maryland Medical Center. Alcohol consumption has been associated with higher risks of cancer of the head and neck, stomach and breasts. Alcohol can also harm the pancreas, causing a severely painful condition called pancreatitis. Roads Lowering the drinking age to 18 would stop infantilizing college students, but it would probably kill more of them in traffic accidents as pros would say. In 2006, 2,121 people ages 16 to 20 died in alcohol-related fatalities on U.S. roads, according to data compiled by me from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, it also states that drunk drivers kill someone every 53 minutes. According to a review of literature published in the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, author Ralph Hingson cites several studies on the issue done in the 70s and 80s. In 1971, some states did try and lower the drinking age to 18 as mentioned before, and in the years following had an increase in fatalities from alcohol-related motor vehicle accidents. These numbers declined after 1988, by which time most of the states had raised the minimum age back to 21. If the drinking age is lowered, then there will be more people dying quicker than there is now. Additionally, if a sixteen year old is permitted to drive a car in most jurisdictions, imagine what a dangerous situation could result on the roads if he/she is also permitted to buy alcohol and does not yet have the maturity to comprehend the consequences of drinking and driving. High school students There is no compelling reason to lower age restrictions associated with the purchase of alcohol. Let's not forget that these laws aim to prevent teens and children from going into a store and purchasing alcohol, or buying it in a bar. Parents and guardians, however, can still offer their children a drink during special occasions or with dinner, if they wish to do so. Purchasing alcohol takes a lot of maturity and a sense of responsibility. When teens start drinking at an early age, their younger siblings are subjected to drinking earlier because they follow in the siblings' footsteps. An article by Robert Voas and James C. Fell also argues that lowering the drinking age to 18 will have too many unintended consequences. Aside from increasing motor vehicle accidents again, they claim that this will make it easier for the even younger, for example high school students, to obtain alcohol from their 18 year old peers. Many activities have ages of initiation. A person must wait until age 16 to start driving (according to the USA law), age 18 to marry without parental consent, age 35 to become president, and so on. The age limit for alcohol is based on researches which show that young people react differently to alcohol. Teens get drunk twice as fast as adults and have more trouble knowing when to stop. Teens naturally overdo it. 18 year olds are not mature enough to understand the damage alcohol can cause. They are still teenagers and proved incapable of handling the effects of consuming alcohol. Drinking is one of the main reasons 16-18 year olds females are getting pregnant. These kids, saying that they are old enough for alcohol, are just immature. Teenagers are preoccupied with issues of identity and social relationships. In this formative period, they experiment with different styles of clothing and makeup, try out unique variations of their names and may hang out with different social group at school. Peer pressure becomes a big factor in the choices that a teen makes as he or she develops socially; that’s why it is crucial that parents get to know their children’s friends and their families. For a lot of teens, alcohol may seem like a magic elixir that allows them to overcome shyness and social insecurity. But after awhile, those teens, who drink heavily on a regular basis, will start to get a negative reputation at school. Kids who participate in sports, musical activities or school clubs will often avoid the teenagers who party all the time. In conclusion, the negative effects of lowering minimum drinking age to 18 can be tremendous. It has not only short-term and long-term damage to one’s physical and social health, but also causes more alcohol-related fatalities, accidents and injuries. As a result, drinking age should not be lowered to 18 and the government should increase enforcement of underage drinking laws and provide more education about the harmful effects of alcohol abuse because it seems like many people are still not aware of them. Thanks, it is my first thread, any comment is appreciated.
-
This was supposed to be short story type essay. Too long? It's been years since I have written an essay. How are Paragraphs. What do I need at conclusion. What should I title it? Do I have run on sentences, and how about punctuation? HELP, Please!! Jake, a young and gawky boy dreams of getting his Boy Scout rank of Eagle Scout and the National Eagle Scout Association’s colorful plastic wallet card, before the 8 year deadline expires to be eligible for the prestigious rank that is admired from a variety of applications to entering the Armed Forces a full rank ahead. Shortly after his 10th birthday he has his first ceremony in Scouts celebrating his achievements. Four months later, Jake has his second ceremony, his cross-over ceremony with Akela , transitioning from Cub Scouts into Boy Scouts. He is hooked. Riddled with low self-esteem, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Tourette Syndrome and ADHD, along with the learning disabilities and social awkwardness that coincide with these disorders he starts out strong earning merit badges. At some times in his adolescence he works towards it, other times he forgets the dream. Unable to forgive himself for mistakes of the past, self created adversity finds it’s way into his young life again and again. Defiance in all areas exacerbated troubles with the law, drugs and alcohol, he spiraled out of control. Years turn into months, and then to days so fast, time is running out. Overwhelmed and feeling hopeless, with only a few days left before the deadline; Jake decides it’s not worth the hassle. Does the young man at the last possible moment, his 18th birthday, reclaim his dream, overcome his demons and soar like an eagle into adulthood? A bad attitude paired with adversity can make one pessimistic and bitter, want to crawl into a hole and die, give up one’s dreams, and stifle one’s growth, or adversity can propel the tenacious one into self-discovery and optimism, determined to overcome the obstacles and leave the valley of despair climbing to the summit of victory in any and all situations. Oft times what’s required is a shift in attitude and consciousness. Depending upon one’s attitude and their choices in handling physical and emotional challenges or misfortune and consequences, one can discover their inner values, desires and the strength and depth in their character that can overcome any odds. It was a warm fall day in November 2004, in the city of Bountiful, Utah. A curly blonde haired, blue-eyed boy of a short and frail stature ran in the door dropped his backpack on the floor and said, “Bye Mom!” as he ran out of the house buttoning up his Cub Scout shirt. He had already experienced parents and step-parents with addictions, his mother gone for almost 2 years in jail and treatment, it was so nice to finally have a normalcy and he was so excited to go to Scouts and do cool things! The following week was Pack Meeting and he was to receive the highest award in Cub Scouts, his Arrow of Light. So happy and at this point in his life still felt accepted by all. His Cubmaster, Brother Little, had presented a very special keepsake for him. It was a 2 feet by 2 feet hollow square frame he had made of wood with white tanned deer skin stretched across it and holes on the edge to lace around the wooden frame. Brother Little had glued on the large keepsake all of the little boy’s camp patches, badges, Bobcat, Wolf, Bear, Webelos, 20 pins from 5 different categories of things mastered in Physical and Mental Skills, Community, Technology and Outdoor Activity. The Webelos Colors were to the left of the pins this little boy loved, Aquanaut, Artist, Engineer, Traveler, Family member, Craftsman, Fitness, Handyman, etc. They were so awesome they looked much like the activity they represented. He had never seen anything like them, let alone earned them! Brother Little had carefully removed all these things and placed them so neatly on this skin. His Compass Point emblem with their earned gold compass point pins, In the center were all of the gold and silver arrow point patches, along with his most recently earned badge, the Arrow of Light patch. The Progress Toward Ranks dangled at the bottom with its yellow and red beads. Laced along the top of the memento was an arrow Brother Little had painted with the Scout colors and written in black Sharpie the coinciding value. “Wow, was this thing cool!” he thought. Four months later, it was time for another special ceremony for him! This time he was to cross over from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. “This Scout stuff is exciting”, he thought. A man in a leather outfit wearing a full headdress addresses the group and the boy in a powerful and loud voice summoning the boy to the bridge. The fellow onlookers included the Cubmaster, Scoutmaster, Webelos & leaders, fellow scouts, the boy’s mother, stepfather, brother, sister, father and stepmother and the Boy Scout Troop on the other side of the bridge awaiting the new scout. Family was beaming with pride as the nervous, shy little boy, stepped onto the bridge with his mother and father at his side. Already having problems with paying attention, words swirled through the air around the boy in bits and pieces. “Soon, when you become a Boy Scout, you will find that, while there are still many people willing to help, you take on more and more responsibility for blazing your own trail to Eagle.” He thought to himself, “I will be an Eagle Scout!” At age 14, Jake’s Court of Honor for his Life Scout award was joined with his brother Matthew’s, Eagle Scout Court of Honor. He nervously conducted the Court of Honor, fulfilling his last requirement for his required Communications badge. He had actually earned more badges than his straight-laced, “perfect” brother. Jake was set to get his Eagle 1 month after turning 15. Earning merit badges, he felt some were fun, others, hard and boring. The thrill of Scouts was starting to diminish. Friends started changing, he started riding the motorcycle he had grown into that his brother was growing out of. Jake’s hyperactivity and love of revving up engines drove one neighbor, which would be best prescribed as mean spirited and trouble making. His friend gave him an old car for him to concentrate his summer time on. Suddenly there were many police interactions, which led to many underage driving without a license tickets. As the pressure of junior high, social faux pas, and other issues, a friend whom smoked pot got him high for the first time. His mother knew the minute she saw him. From then on trouble was double, suspensions, probations, DT and finally a program, which he flew through with no rule violations. Jake spent 15 months out of his home and out of Scouting. He came back home and went to early morning seminary with his brother, Matthew, every day at 6:30. Finally he was back on the right track. Only a few more merit badges to finish. All was well at home and school, he earned high honor roll and at 3.89 that year! Jake’s 11th grade year started out well, even though he did not have his brother at school with him, he was home earning his higher EMT certification and preparing for a mission. It wasn’t long until Jake was complacent and again started smoking pot, skipping school, letting his grades and the GPA he was so proud of slip. All was heading towards an abyss fairly quickly. His mother threatened another program was surely on the horizon if he didn’t pull it together. Before the end of the second semester he had been suspended for bringing pot to school. He was to attend a District Meeting with a clean UA, a completed SASSI, (substance abuse rating scale.) Whew, he was back in school. Within a week, he had a fight with his stepfather and took alcohol to school, giving it to another friend also. He was pulled out of his AP Psychology and tested blowing a .09 on a Breathalyzer. He received another suspension and district meeting. Somehow he made it back into school again after a few weeks. Jake ended that school year without another suspension, however he was now on probation. However, the summer would prove to be trouble for this young man, he just couldn’t seem to make the right choices. Lying, smoking weed, sneaking out, drinking, stealing his parents cars and truck and taking them to the “B” a favorite 4 wheeling spot for auto’s, 4 wheelers and motorcycles. The plot thickens. On house arrest with a curfew of 10 pm, Jake continues to take a downward decline. He starts just not coming home and lying to his mother. His mother gets a phone call in June 2012, saying he has stolen an electric shopping cart. “Impossible, he is in Lindon!” his mother states to an officer that’s been a friend to she and Jake. They go to the store that he allegedly was at, and there was Jake! That was it. Off to DT he went to await his fate. Here comes that program, he thought. Dread filled him. August came and he entered the program, his mother had moved heaven and earth to get him there. “I can’t screw this up, they used their retirement to pay for this.” Jake thought. He did fairly well, but was slow to get it. In September they started to make sure all was in order to get his Eagle. Everyone had collected books and stored them over the past for years, awaiting Jake to fill out the Eagle Scout Project Workbook. Time was drawing near, he had one more badge to finish. He started thinking, “I don’t want to get my eagle, there’s still too much to do!” As the last possible weekend drew near, he attempted to get all of his advancement records. With so many position changes at church, nobody had them. The day of his 18th birthday came and he still did not have the signatures in his project workbook. They went to the Boy Scout Council in their area. Jake had completed all requirements and he could finish his project. They spent the day gathering the books and summoning the signatures needed. The last signature came at 8:00 pm. They were now able to deliver the several thousand books to the DT he had spent time at, along with the Head Start in his county. At last at 10:00 pm, the project was finished! He filled out the workbook and turned it in. He wasn’t very happy he spent his whole 18th birthday doing it, but he would be glad in the future. He graduated his program, went back to school again achieving his 3.89 and high honor roll. Prepared for his mission and is now serving in Mexico City North with his brother. Jake proved that even though life dealt him a series of physical and emotional dis-abilities with a shift in attitude, determination, making the right choices, and doing what’s right one can overcome their demons, obstacles and adversity that is self-created or thrown at them and one can achieve any goal, however hopeless it looks at times, they set out to achieve
-
- essay feedback
- essay help
-
(and 2 more)
Tagged with: