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Thread: Please, grade my essay

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    Trying to make mom and pop proud MarggieHopkins's Avatar
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    Please, grade my essay

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    Hello everybody! I would like to ask you to grade my essay, it is really very hard task for me, and I'm not sure about it, so, any help is welcome. Thanks a lot.

    "It was the aggressive policies of Hitler that were responsible for the outbreak of WW2."

    It is partially agreed upon that Hitlerís aggressive actions caused the outbreak of World War Two. The collapse of the New York stock exchange left Germany in a state of depression, with large quantities of people left unemployed and unable to support themselves with the conditions they were left in. Hitlerís rise to power was a result of the huge amount of support he received after promoting extreme ideas to lead Germany out of the Great Depression. The more support he obtained, the more power he gained. Hitlerís power allowed him to ignore the rules of the Treaty of Versailles and Britain and France werenít compelled to stop him in order to prevent a war. After Hitlerís invasion of Czechoslovakia and Poland, war was declared upon Germany by Britain and France.

    The fragile state of Germany helped Hitler rise to power. After the First World War, Germany was already quite economically unstable due to the Treaty Of Versailles as Germany owed £6,600 million to the allied countries (Britain, France etc.) and lost 70,000km≤ of land. The United States ďmade loans to Germany to help with itís failing economyĒ, however, in 1929, the collapse of the New York stock exchange took place, affecting many industries worldwide including Germany, making the German economy very weak. The demand of investors receded and the supply of goods began to build up, slowing production, although prices proceeded to rise, leading to a worldwide recession, so the United States were unable to lend any more money to Germany. The whole industrialised world was in a state of high unemployment and near starvation, people were seeking employment to support themselves and their families. Hitler was able to promise ideology contrary to events such as mass employment as well as bankruptcy, food shortages and political instability. Hitler was able to deliver on his promise of defeating unemployment as he needed workers to build weaponry and be a part of his newly established army, airforce and navy. Although practically unavoidable, perhaps if the desperation of the Germans wasnít so intense, Hitler would not have gained so much support and power.

    Hitlerís increasing hostile activities offered him assistance in gaining more control over Germany. Hitler began to build up his army, airforce and navy in 1935 although the Treaty of Versailles stated there was to be no air force, a 100,000 soldier limit in Germanyís army as well as 1500 sailors and no battleships, submarines and that the Rhineland be demilitarised. Hitler introduced conscription in 1935 and sent troops back into the Rhineland in 1936. Hitler sought to legally obtain dictatorship over Germany and explained to the Reich that the ďgovernment will make use of these powers only insofar as they are essential for carrying out vitally necessary measures...". 441 people supported Hitlerís request for power and 84 against. Democracy had come to an end, sparking the beginning of Hitlerís reign as Dictator, hence, an Enabling Act was established on March 23rd, 1933 permitting Hitler to make his own laws to which he banned any competing opposition and non-nazi parties. Hitler used his power to perform actions the allies opposed, but they remained passive as they did not want to start a war.

    Appeasement helped provoke the beginning of World War Two. Kurt Schuschnigg, chancellor of the federal state of Austria, conceded to Hitlerís requests as he knew Britain and France would not interfere with Hitlerís plans due to Appeasement, ďa clever plan of selling off your friends in order to buy off your enemies.Ē On March 12 1938 Austria and Germany were unified. Hitler then proceeded to take over Czechoslovakia on March 15th, 1939, ignoring the deal he had made with Britain and France to take only the Sudetenland on the 29th of September 1938. The Czechoslovakians were relying on the French military to support them, but they were unable to do so. Britain and France ended appeasement and started to prepare for war. On the 1st of September 1939, Germany invaded Poland, causing Britain and France to declare war. During the war period, Neville Chamberlain, the Prime Minister of Britain expressed his sadness to his people on broadcast, stating that he could not ďbelieve that there is anything more or anything different that [he] could have done and that would have been more successful." Maybe if Britain and France had have fought back at Hitler sooner, they could have supported Austrian chancellor Kurt Schuschnigg and prevented the unification of Austria and Germany and hence prevented Hitlerís invasion of Czechoslovakia.

    Ultimately, Appeasement, the fragile state of Germany after World War One, the New York stock market crash and Hitlerís aggressive actions all caused the outbreak of World War Two. Accusing an individual for actions of a government or a whole nation is quite common in history, but it takes more than one to create a conflict, especially one as big as war. Although Hitler was a very big partaker of the breakout of the Second World War, he was heavily supported by those he managed to persuade (whether it was verbally or physically). If Britain and France had have stood their ground with the required military support, they might have prevented World War Two or even diminished Hitlerís power, and the same goes for how economically damaged Germany was after the Treaty of Versailles had taken itís toll on it and left the German people barely surviving. If the desperation of the German people could have been somehow minimized, Hitlerís ideas would not have been so greatly supported. If Hitler hadnít of gained so much power he would not have had the ability to create his own laws, and defy the ruling of the Treaty of Versailles. It was partially Hitlerís fault that World War Two began.


    Sources Used:
    (1998). When Titans Clashed: How the Red Army Stopped Hitler. Lawrence, KS: University Press of Kansas. ISBN 978-0-7006-0899-7.
    Was German Foreign Policy Responsible for the Outbreak of WWII?, GCSE History
    Who Was to Blame for WW2?, BBC

    Tools Used:
    College Essay Writing Service | The Essay Service, editing
    Grammarly, grammatical mistakes checker

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    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    Re: Please, grade my essay

    TOEFL iBT: 5.0 (out of 5.0)
    IELTS: 7.5 or 8.0 bands (out of 9 bands)


    Quote Originally Posted by MarggieHopkins View Post
    Hello everybody! I would like to ask you to grade my essay, it is really very hard task for me, and I'm not sure about it, so, any help is welcome. Thanks a lot.

    "It was the aggressive policies of Hitler that were responsible for the outbreak of WW2."

    It is partially agreed upon that Hitlerís aggressive actions caused the outbreak of World War Two. The collapse of the New York stock exchange left Germany in a state of depression, with large quantities of people left unemployed and unable to support themselves with the conditions they were left in. Hitlerís rise to power was a result of the huge amount of support he received after promoting extreme ideas to lead Germany out of the Great Depression. The more support he obtained, the more power he gained. Hitlerís power allowed him to ignore the rules of the Treaty of Versailles and Britain and France werenít compelled to stop him in order to prevent a war. After Hitlerís invasion of Czechoslovakia and Poland, war was declared upon Germany by Britain and France.

    The fragile state of Germany helped Hitler rise to power. After the First World War, Germany was already quite economically unstable due to the Treaty Of Versailles as Germany owed £6,600 million to the allied countries (Britain, France etc.) and lost 70,000km≤ of land. The United States ďmade loans to Germany to help with itís failing economyĒ, however, in 1929, the collapse of the New York stock exchange took place, affecting many industries worldwide including Germany, making the German economy very weak. The demand of investors receded and the supply of goods began to build up, slowing production, although prices proceeded to rise, leading to a worldwide recession, so the United States were unable to lend any more money to Germany. The whole industrialised world was in a state of high unemployment and near starvation, people were seeking employment to support themselves and their families. Hitler was able to promise ideology contrary to events such as mass employment as well as bankruptcy, food shortages and political instability. Hitler was able to deliver on his promise of defeating unemployment as he needed workers to build weaponry and be a part of his newly established army, airforce and navy. Although practically unavoidable, perhaps if the desperation of the Germans wasnít so intense, Hitler would not have gained so much support and power.

    Hitlerís increasing hostile activities offered him assistance in gaining more control over Germany. Hitler began to build up his army, airforce and navy in 1935 although the Treaty of Versailles stated there was to be no air force, a 100,000 soldier limit in Germanyís army as well as 1500 sailors and no battleships, submarines and that the Rhineland be demilitarised. Hitler introduced conscription in 1935 and sent troops back into the Rhineland in 1936. Hitler sought to legally obtain dictatorship over Germany and explained to the Reich that the ďgovernment will make use of these powers only insofar as they are essential for carrying out vitally necessary measures...". 441 people supported Hitlerís request for power and 84 against. Democracy had come to an end, sparking the beginning of Hitlerís reign as Dictator, hence, an Enabling Act was established on March 23rd, 1933 permitting Hitler to make his own laws to which he banned any competing opposition and non-nazi parties. Hitler used his power to perform actions the allies opposed, but they remained passive as they did not want to start a war.

    Appeasement helped provoke the beginning of World War Two. Kurt Schuschnigg, chancellor of the federal state of Austria, conceded to Hitlerís requests as he knew Britain and France would not interfere with Hitlerís plans due to Appeasement, ďa clever plan of selling off your friends in order to buy off your enemies.Ē On March 12 1938 Austria and Germany were unified. Hitler then proceeded to take over Czechoslovakia on March 15th, 1939, ignoring the deal he had made with Britain and France to take only the Sudetenland on the 29th of September 1938. The Czechoslovakians were relying on the French military to support them, but they were unable to do so. Britain and France ended appeasement and started to prepare for war. On the 1st of September 1939, Germany invaded Poland, causing Britain and France to declare war. During the war period, Neville Chamberlain, the Prime Minister of Britain expressed his sadness to his people on broadcast, stating that he could not ďbelieve that there is anything more or anything different that [he] could have done and that would have been more successful." Maybe if Britain and France had have fought back at Hitler sooner, they could have supported Austrian chancellor Kurt Schuschnigg and prevented the unification of Austria and Germany and hence prevented Hitlerís invasion of Czechoslovakia.

    Ultimately, Appeasement, the fragile state of Germany after World War One, the New York stock market crash and Hitlerís aggressive actions all caused the outbreak of World War Two. Accusing an individual for actions of a government or a whole nation is quite common in history, but it takes more than one to create a conflict, especially one as big as war. Although Hitler was a very big partaker of the breakout of the Second World War, he was heavily supported by those he managed to persuade (whether it was verbally or physically). If Britain and France had have stood their ground with the required military support, they might have prevented World War Two or even diminished Hitlerís power, and the same goes for how economically damaged Germany was after the Treaty of Versailles had taken itís toll on it and left the German people barely surviving. If the desperation of the German people could have been somehow minimized, Hitlerís ideas would not have been so greatly supported. If Hitler hadnít of gained so much power he would not have had the ability to create his own laws, and defy the ruling of the Treaty of Versailles. It was partially Hitlerís fault that World War Two began.


    Sources Used:
    (1998). When Titans Clashed: How the Red Army Stopped Hitler. Lawrence, KS: University Press of Kansas. ISBN 978-0-7006-0899-7.
    Was German Foreign Policy Responsible for the Outbreak of WWII?, GCSE History
    Who Was to Blame for WW2?, BBC

    Tools Used:
    College Essay Writing Service | The Essay Service, editing
    Grammarly, grammatical mistakes checker

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