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Grading my "Analysis of an Issue" essay


NGeo
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Hello everyone!

I am posting my essay just in case anyone could grade it and-or note any mistakes etc.

Btw, english is not my native language.

 

Here is the subject:

“People most respect the powerful not when they exercise their power, but when they

refrain from exercising it.”

Write an essay in which you develop and support a position on the statement above. In

writing your essay, you should consider both when the statement may be true and when

it may be false.

 

And here is my essay:

 

 

There is an old Chinese saying that true wisdom lies not when someone knows

when to exercise his power for good or evil but when he truly knows when

to not act at all. That said, how can anyone determine the correlation of

respect and the exercise of power? In the political context, as it is

commonly correlated with power, it raises an obscure argument that exercised

power inspires respect since its the only way to actually change the flow of

things and of course history itself. On the contrary, others would support

the notion that true respect comes from the ability to restrain power. After

carefully weighting historical facts, it becomes clear that people mostly

respect leaders who act and exercise their power.

 

To begin with, the ability to show restrain can engender respect. A bright

example that most people have heard of is the trial of Jesus in Pilate's court.

Pilate, after carefully examining the facts that were presented he quoted

"I wash my hands" implying that he was not in a position to clearly declare

any sentence although historians have concluded that he was eager to favour Jesus.

Nevertheless, as Jesus was later on sentenced to crucifixion, and since Pilate

was the only man who could actually set him free, his stasis and his inability

to exercise his power has was the primary reason for losing his respect among

the Christian people.

 

On the other hand, one solid example of exercised power relates to a politician

named Margaret Thatcher. Also known as the "Iron Lady", she is the longest-serving

British Prime minister of the 20th century. Thatcher became a noticeable politician

due to her determination to apply really innovative political and economical

initiatives that contributed in Britain's recovery during the 80s. It is clear

that Thatcher would have not succeed if she was not resolute in exercising her

power as a politician, a fact that justifies her great reputation and admiration

by British people and a base argument that has granted her a title in the

House of Lords.

 

In addition, another luminary persona of the ancient Greek political scene is

Pericles, a man with a profound influence on the Athenian society. Referred to as

the "first citizen", Pericles has gained his reputation by exercising power to

benefit the citizens of Athens. Credited for many positive deeds, like the

promotion of arts and Parthenon's construction, his greatest achievement was to

exercise his power and declare the Athenean democracy, an act that has changed

history and set the foundations of the modern civilization as we know it. He is

the brightest example of a man who has gained peoples' respect from wisely

exercising his power.

 

To sum up, after considering both sides of the issue, it is inevitably concluded

that the exercise of power is mostly respected. The examples aforementioned, clearly

show that if the entity in power chooses not to exercise power at all, it is

that option itself that makes the entity lose respect. The exercise of power, has

created personas that are still admired and respected. Hence, it is not the

restraint of power that people most respect, it is the exercise of power that

matters most.

 

 

I can also offer my evaluation to anyone who can help me here :)

Thanks in advance!

Edited by NGeo
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