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Can anyone score my TOEFL essay?


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For this task, you will write an essay in response to a question that asks you to state, explain, and support your opinion on an issue. Typically, an effective essay will contain a minimum of 300 words. The quality of your writing includes the development of your ideas, the organization of your essay, and the quality and accuracy of the language you use to express your ideas. You have 30 minutes to plan and complete your essay.


Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones (cell phones with Internet access), while others disagree and believe that they are important tools for keeping in touch. Which point of view do you think is better, and why?


With the advent of smart phones, the question of whether or not they should allow their children to own smart phones at a young age arises in many parents' minds. Some parents forbid young children from owning smart phones and some parents choose to allow, I agree with forbidding them from using smart phones. Smart phones have brought immense benefits in today's world to the human kind, but they come with their fair share of disadvantages. Young children fall prey to such dangers, and must be protected from these disadvantages of smart phones.

Smart phones are extremely addicting. Once a child starts using a smart phone, they fail to realise the amount of time that passes by whilst using it. The plethora of games and social media sites have made it very tempting to use smart phones all the time. The different suggestions provided by the complex algorithms make it all the more difficult to resist. I have seen my cousin who is 7 years old ask her mother for her phone so that she can play the popular game "Subway Surfers". This wastes a lot of time and energy of her's, and is not necessarily productive. Since children are very influencible, they do not realise the harm these games and websites are causing. Thus, addiction is a severe issue that should considered before allowing young children to have their own smart phones.

Addiction is not the only threat to a child from a smart phone. Another threat, and possibly more risky, is the danger from predators that prey on the innocence of young children. These predators often influence or brainwash the children via websites. Many kidnappings have occured because the child does not suspect the danger. Giving children their own phones, without parental supervision, increases the chances of such unfortunate incidents occuring. To avoid such situations, children must not be given smart phones; and if given, they should supervised and educated about these such incidents, and how to avoid them.

Smart phones can be very useful as a technology, but they increase the dependence of an individual on smart phones, and reduce their own thinking power. Calculators, in-built in the smart phones, provide fast and easy math calculations; but increased reliance on calculators may diminish the ability of a child to think on their own. Similarly, GPS provides routes from source to destination, but reduce the memory dependence of the user. The user need not require to remember routes to places anymore. It can be said that technology, as easy as it makes our lives, hampers important development in a child if given access to at an early age.

Thus, giving smart phones to young children will provide benefits such as keeping in touch and easy access to sources of knowledge, but also exposes them to numerous threats. The advantages come at a cost which is not worth the risk. Children should not be given smart phones at a young age so as to avoid such problems.

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