#169: People listen to music for different reasons

[Erin]

Reposting another TOEFL essay. This one's by madhavi.

 

 

 

Hi Please advise and give ideas for this essay topic.

#Topic:169

People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? Use specific reasons and examples to to explain your answer.

 

ESSAY:

People listen to music many times and in different occasions. Music is given much importance these days. Music is used to make some special occasions lively. It is used in spiritual cermonies to turn the minds of the audians. People with sedentary jobs listen to music to kill the boredom they face.

 

In some special occasions of our lives we need music to make the occasions more lively. For example, in India at times of marriage and other functions, Tape recorders are set or musical perfomances are also conducted. It makes the function more interesting.

 

Some people whose jobs are boring kill their boredom using the music. For examples in Shops music is played. Sitting in the same shop for hours together makes their life boring. They escape from music by listening to music while doing their daily work. Drivers in India also listen to music. They feel it very boring to drive every day so they listen to music to fight music.

 

In spiritual concerts music is played. It is said that music increases concentration and Memory power. In spiritual concerts mild music is played to get people involve into the spiritual aspects of life.

 

Music is also played and listen out of sheer joy it offers. So pleople listen to music at many times of their lives. Music turns their life more lively.

[Erin]

Good punctuation!!! ;)

Hi Please advise and give ideas for this essay topic.

#Topic:169

People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? Use specific reasons and examples to to explain your answer.

 

ESSAY:

People listen to music many times and in different occasions. Music is given much importance these days. Music is used to make some special occasions lively. It is used in spiritual cermonies to turn the minds of the audians. People with sedentary jobs listen to music to kill the boredom they face.

This intro is simply a list of what you are going to say. You could improve this intro by making it more general, something like this:

 

"Music has a special ability to make any situation more enjoyable."

In some special occasions of our lives we need music to make the occasions more lively. For example, in India at times of marriage and other functions, Tape recorders are set or musical perfomances are also conducted. It makes the function more interesting.

 

Some people whose jobs are boring kill their boredom using the music. For examples in Shops music is played. Sitting in the same shop for hours together makes their life boring. They escape from music by listening to music while doing their daily work. Drivers in India also listen to music. They feel it very boring to drive every day so they listen to music to fight music.

This paragraph is very similar in idea to the previous one.

 

In spiritual concerts music is played. It is said that music increases concentration and Memory power. In spiritual concerts mild music is played to get people involve into the spiritual aspects of life.

This paragraph is a bit confusing to me, perhaps because I'm not sure what a "spiritual concert" is.

 

Music is also played and listen out of sheer joy it offers. So pleople listen to music at many times of their lives. Music turns their life more lively.

Estimated Score: 4.5

 

You write pretty well, but this essay shows that it was hard for you to think of other things.

 

In the past, people have successfully written that music is:

 

[*]an expression of emotion, a way to feel our feelings more deeply[*]a way to preserve and celebrate culture and tradition[*]a way to make any situation more enjoyable

 

HTH!!

 

Erin

[flash]

Hi,smart people, this is my essay. Please tell me what score I may get.

 

Topic 169:

 

In the street,you see a boy listening to music with his Walkman.At shools,you see students listening to songs at break. And at home you see your parents listening to classical music. That's how you realize that music is important to many people. To my mind, that is because music is an interesting entertainment and a link between people and their country.

 

Listening to music is really interesting. Music helps us relax and feel fresh. Imagine after a hard-working day, it's wonderful for you to sit in a comfortable chair and listen to your favourite songs. Upset people can be relieved and sad people can be happier when listening to cheerful melodies.

 

More over, music is an important link between people and their countries. People listen to the anthem song and feel they are parts of their country. Young students listen to old songs and know something about the past. Abroad people listen to folk songs to remember their home town. It seems that music has become an invisible representative of a country.

 

Music is not only one of the oldest arts but also one of the most popular arts of human beings. You know, right now, thousands of songs are being listened to all over the world. So who would say: music is not important?

 

 

 

[Erin]

Originally posted by flash

 

In the street,you see a boy listening to music with his Walkman.At shools,you see students listening to songs at break. And at home you see your parents listening to classical music. That's how you realize that music is important to many people. To my mind, that is because music is an interesting entertainment and a link between people and their country.

 

Listening to music is really interesting. Music helps us relax and feel fresh. Imagine after a hard-working day, it's wonderful for you to sit in a comfortable chair and listen to your favourite songs. Upset people can be relieved and sad people can be happier when listening to cheerful melodies.

 

More over, music is an important link between people and their countries. People listen to the anthem song and feel they are parts of their country. Young students listen to old songs and know something about the past. Abroad people listen to folk songs to remember their home town. It seems that music has become an invisible representative of a country.

 

Music is not only one of the oldest arts but also one of the most popular arts of human beings. You know, right now, thousands of songs are being listened to all over the world. So who would say: music is not important?

Score: 4.5

 

This essay is almost a 5.0, but I'm scoring it a bit lower to be safe.

 

This essay would receive a higher score if it had a bit more development, i.e. explanations and analysis of some of the important points.

 

Your essay also makes a bad first impression as in the very first line, you have several words without spaces between them, and you misspell "schools."

 

Finally, the conclusion is a bit off-topic--the essay prompt asks why people listen to music, not whether or not music is important.

 

HTH :)

[LothaR]

This my first essay posted on this forum, and I would really appreciate a few words of advice. Thanks in advance.

 

Topic #169:

People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? Use specific reasons and examples to to explain your answer.

 

---

 

Many people cherish various types and genres of music and consider it an important trait of their everyday life. There could be numerous reasons for that, but, in my opinion, the ones stated below are the most signifaicant.

 

Music, especially in the modern times that provide a plethera of stress and reasons for anxiety to occur, serves as a natural relief from everyday life. One can fully relax and calm down while listening to a favorite tune. Music is no longer reserved for highly cultured individuals. Nowadays it is widely used as a significant remedy to all the anxiety and stress that dramatically fast and widespreading development of the civilisation produces. For example, people are eager to listen to their favorite music after work, when they finally get home and want to destress their overworked minds and bodies.

 

Music, apart from being a significant remedy for the modern times, is also a means of expressing oneself in a fast growing worldwide community. People of different races and cultures protect, cherish and promote the particular genres of music, that is characteristic for their backgrounds. For example, people living in countries with slavic biases, promote and continue their own folklore music genre by organizing festivals and traveling abroad, to introduce it to other cultures.

 

The significant importance of music to many people is also, in my opinion, influenced by the need of consolidation by particular age groups. It gives their members the feeling of being a part of something major, and makes them feel like they are not alone. It also influences the need to help other people, which is closely related to the feeling of unity with a particular community. For example, young people generally listen to pop music. This encourages them to set up numerous community clubs, fan clubs and other institutions of social unity. In most cases these clubs contribute not only to music fans get-togethers, but also to help particular individuals in their life problems.

 

In my opinion, there are numeous reasons why people listen to music, and why it is so important for them. Nevertheless, the ones stated above, are, in my point of view, the most significant and important to the vast majority of music fans.

 

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[napoleon]

Music is a part of our lives, no matter where we live or how old we are. Without knowing people give an important place in their lives to music. I will try to analyze this phenomenon in order to depict the gist of music or what makes it so attractive to humans.

 

First of all, music like any other art is a way of relaxing after your regular hard day at work. Many people come home tired and exhausted from work and play their favorite song or artist. By listening to a superfluous sound that you find it familiar and smoothing, the employee can unwind and forget for a few hours about the problems of real life. Consequently music is not only a relaxation, but also a paradise, a state of mind maybe similar to the ancient nirvana. This state of beatitude you feel like home without cares and hardships, only listening to poetic whisper.

 

Secondly, nowadays people are free to choose what they want, but many take for granted whatever they get. More specific when you watch the TV, you are completely inactive, you receive all that information even though probably 80% does not interest you. With music is an opposite status. You choose the music you like and want to listen. Every minute counts because you know what music has a positive influence. When I am down and I listen to a tune from Metallica or Black Sabath, I start to feel better and brighter ideas come in my mind. If you feel good you will act naturally, think better and work faster.

 

Thirdly, the most influential thing in our lives is probably friendship. For many people, friends are all that matter. In this area music helps very much by bringing people together. You can talk about a band or simply enjoy a song with your friend. This activity tights the connection among friends. You can meet people at a concert or talk with them online about the music you like. Music is a common language between teenagers.

 

Finally, the music is probably the most accessible art. If you look at a Picasso painting, or a Brancusi statue you may like it, but you cannot understand what the author wanted to convey to the public. With music is completely different. Everyone can listen and percept the musical ideas. The music is an art open to all public therefore it will have a big impact on the auditory.

 

To sum up, I believe people listen to a song for relaxation, for a positive attitude that can be acquired or even to make friends. Music is the most famous art and musicians are stars because they pass a state and a simple message.

 

[DreamsComeTrue]

Hi napoleon

 

On the whole, your writing is clear, easy to follow, and quite persuasive. The propotion between the parts are resonable.

 

In more detail:

The second reason of yours to me is very important, However this para, in my mind, is not so strong. It may lack a topic sentence, and some details may not be relevent to the main point "for a positive attitude"

Secondly, nowadays people are free to choose what they want, but many take for granted whatever they get. More specific when you watch the TV, you are completely inactive, you receive all that information even though probably 80% does not interest you.

And this sentence: I cannot figure out what you want to convey.?

Without knowing people give an important place in their lives to music.

The rest is just fine. This essay deserves 5-5.5. Good luck[banana]

 

[powerplane]

#169.People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? Use specific reasons and examples to to explain your answer.

 

 

Hard topic for me.....

:([xx(].......

 

Music indeed plays a vital role in human culture. You can hardly find a area without any music, and without any local featured music. Why music is so important to our life? I think there two main reasons: first, music is a unique and irreplaceable art form; second, it conveys and express beautiful emotions of people, and record some legend and preserve local culture.

 

Music is an art form of sound, which is composed by rhythm, melody and many special sound effects. All these features make music very unique and irreplaceable. Unlike the paints, music cannot exist in space. At some moment, music starts and gives you joy, and by some moment, it fades. It just like life, it will only exist in a limited time. If I portray music as a dancer, then rhythm is her soul and the melody is her dance. When the music plays, we can see a picture that the dancer is following the rhythm to perform her dance. It constructs a atmosphere of mood that no other art form can do.

 

Like all other art form, music is to express, to convey and to record. Through the Mozart's beautiful melody, we can see an angel smiling with tears. Beethoven's music is very inspiring and exciting, and it gives a great impact to our hearts. Some religion music will make us feel very peaceful and enlighten life. Folk music is generally joy, some of them record funny stories while some documented the legend of ancient hero. The expression and record of music are so special, and no other art forms can replace.

 

From the above I have discuss, music is an important art form to human, because no other art can take place of music. Because music has unique and living nature, it has a special expression of our emotions and documentation of our culture.

 

[TM Staff]

Originally posted by powerplane

 

#169.People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? Use specific reasons and examples to to explain your answer.

 

 

Hard topic for me.....

:([xx(].......

 

Music indeed plays a vital role in human culture. You can hardly find a area without any music, and without any local featured music. Why music is so important to our life? I think there two main reasons: first, music is a unique and irreplaceable art form; second, it conveys and express beautiful emotions of people, and record some legend and preserve local culture.

 

Music is an art form of sound, which is composed by rhythm, melody and many special sound effects. All these features make music very unique and irreplaceable. Unlike the paints, music cannot exist in space. At some moment, music starts and gives you joy, and by some moment, it fades. It just like life, it will only exist in a limited time. If I portray music as a dancer, then rhythm is her soul and the melody is her dance. When the music plays, we can see a picture that the dancer is following the rhythm to perform her dance. It constructs a atmosphere of mood that no other art form can do.

 

Like all other art form, music is to express, to convey and to record. Through the Mozart's beautiful melody, we can see an angel smiling with tears. Beethoven's music is very inspiring and exciting, and it gives a great impact to our hearts. Some religion music will make us feel very peaceful and enlighten life. Folk music is generally joy, some of them record funny stories while some documented the legend of ancient hero. The expression and record of music are so special, and no other art forms can replace.

 

From the above I have discuss, music is an important art form to human, because no other art can take place of music. Because music has unique and living nature, it has a special expression of our emotions and documentation of our culture.

 

Hi, Powerplane.

 

You have a great start on this essay. I think the introduction you've written is exceptional. The only problem that I have with the essay, basically, is that although you mention two distinct points in the introduction, they aren't as clearly represented in the body of the essay.

 

The first point is handled quite well, but the second one seems to lose its focus. You seem to continue to focus on the beauty of music as a unique art form, rather than it's place/use in society/culture. You can remedy this by providing clearer, stronger, more specific examples of how music is used to preserve and record local legends and culture (as with the example of folk music). Keep main points distinctly separate and clear.

 

I think you've done a good job of expressing yourself, and I want to encourage you to continue writing your essays as you've done here. This is a good essay.

 

I hope this is of help to you.

 

Best fo luck,

 

TM Staff