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Thread: essay advise

  1. #1
    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    essay advise

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    Hello there, I just started working on the writing section and am curious whether my writing style fits TOEFL standards and what should I change in my writing to make sure I pass the test since used to use hemingwayapp.com essaytyper.pro but this time I cannot rely on them.

    A tragedy is defined as an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress, such as a serious accident, crime, or natural catastrophe (according to google). In Romeo and Juliet written by William Shakespeare two teenagers fall in love despite their family feuds when they should not have and it ends up killing them, but it was the actions of another character that killed them, not their actions. Romeo and Juliet's death were because of Friar Lawrence. The deaths were a result of Friar Lawrence being impulsive, scared and tendentious.
    Friar Lawrence being impulsive killed Romeo and Juliet. Friar Lawrence agreed to marry Romeo and Juliet when he was saying that he does not know how to truly love because he was just in love with Rosaline. This can be seen when Friar Lawrence says “Holy saint Francis, … no strength in men.” The Friar is upset with Romeo for being Impulsive but then Friar Lawrence turns around and does the same thing. Another instance of Friar Lawrence being impulsive was when he gave the poison to Juliet. Friar Lawrence specifically says that he has no way for her to get out of Paris marrying her “I hear thou must, and nothing may prorogue it, On Thursday next be married to this county.”(4.1.48-49). Then not moments after doing the right thing, he goes and gives her a poison that makes her appear dead. The Friar is once again changing his mind on important decisions in a matter of moments. The essential part of Romeo and Juliet's death is that Friar Lawrence always makes impulsive decisions when he needs to think things out.
    Romeo and Juliet died because of Friar Lawrence is being scared and not thinking straight. When Friar Lawrence discovers that the letter could not be received from Romeo the Friar stopped thinking properly. Friar Lawrence said that he needed to go alone and that he must be there in three hours “now must I to the monument alone… fair Juliet wake.” Romeo is in love with Juliet, which leads him to see Juliet and break the exile. Friar knows this, but didn't think to go because he is scared. Secondly, when Juliet wakes up, she is confused and she then sees her husband's dead body, but instead of staying to talk her out of killing herself and give her comfort he runs because he heard the watch coming. In the short moments that Juliet wakes up the Friar tells her to leave her husband that she just found dead while she's confused with emotions he tells her that he's going to leave her if she doesn't come with him right away. “I hear some noise… I dare no longer stay”. Juliet told Friar Lawrence that she would rather die than not live with Romeo and he already saw that Romeo would kill himself if he could not live with Juliet. Therefore Friar Lawrence being scared lead to Romeo and Juliet's death.
    The leading cause of Romeo and Juliet's death is Friar Lawrence being tendentious towards Romeo. Friar Lawrence decided to marry Romeo and Juliet even though they are from feuding families. Romeo says that Juliet is a Capulet “My intercession likewise steads my foe.” (2.3.58). Friar Lawrence knows that Romeo and Juliet being from feuding houses will make the marriage hard because they will only be able to see each other at night-time. He still marries them because he knows that it will make Romeo happy. This is clear Friar Lawrence being tendentious because he married two people from feuding families, which he knew was a bad idea. Friar Lawrence also gave Juliet a poison that makes her appear dead for 48 hours instead of letting her marry county Paris. When the Friar gives Juliet the poison he tells her how to use it and when “Hold, daughter! I do spy a kind of hope… I’ll give thee remedy”(4.1.68-76). Friar Lawrence makes this plan to get Romeo to see Juliet again, even if it is at the cost of many other people. The deaths would not have happened if the friar was not tendentious.
    Romeo and Juliet would still be alive if it was not for Friar Lawrence being impulsive, scared and tendentious. Friar Lawrence is impulsive with big decisions, Scared easily and cannot think straight while scared and lastly is tendentious towards Romeo. This is important because if Friar Lawrence was not impulsive scared and tendentious than Romeo and Juliet would still be alive. Tragedies happen all the time and sometimes it is caused by good people whose actions cause atrocious incidents to occur.
    Last edited by graham; 03-13-2018 at 08:44 AM.

  2. #2
    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    Re: essay advise


    It would help if you could give the question that you have replied for.

    Nonetheless, I would say that in some places the grammar is not completely correct.

    For example, in the sentence "Romeo and Juliet died because of Friar Lawrence is being scared and not thinking straight." "is being" is the wrong tense to use. You could instead use past tense- "was".

    Also, Friar Lawrence's name is used extensively, which could maybe be replaced by a pronon like -"He".

    Again can not really comment on the structure of your essay, as the question is not clear.

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